How to actual heck do you keep toddler in bed?

[PurplGirl]

My 2.5 year old DS kept climbing out of his cot. So reluctantly, but necessarily, we have converted it into a cot-bed. We’re on the 5th night of 2-3 hour bedtimes. It’s wearing me down. We’re doing the usual bedtime routine, book in bed, sitting next to him, then moving to a chair, then outside the door. When we’re in the room he’s rolling around his bed messing around. When we’re outside he’s straight up and out of bed. We put him back, minimal words, repeat. If the parent ‘on duty’ pops to the loo or to another child’s bedroom, he’s climbing - onto the windowsill, drawers, pulling at shelves, you name it, he’s doing it. Same thing in the morning if we don’t immediately hear him.
He has a 1 hour nap at lunchtime that I wake him from. I can’t stop the nap because I’m in the car for the school run and if he hasn’t napped he’s asleep at 3-3.30 which is even worse.
What the actual heck can we do? 3rd child, never experienced anything like this with the other two - they’d call out and sometimes get out of bed, but not repeatedly or climb. Help??!!

Keep putting back into bed, sit at top of stairs rather than on the chair

try and go out in the car at 1pm so they fall asleep then - rather than later, keep the nap slightly short

Thank you. Just to clarify - he does nap at 1pm, I don’t need to go out in the car as he feeds to sleep at nap time. I was just saying that I can’t drop that nap to make him more tired at bedtime.
When I sit outside the room, he’s immediately up and out of bed. I’ve tried going in silently and putting him back to bed multiple times over. Tonight I did it continuously for 30 minutes, non-stop. He thought it was great fun!

What time do you start the process? If he seemed to be having fun maybe he wasn't tired yet

Mine started doing this. Was ready to drop their nap. I appreciate you can’t because it would result in danger nap so either:
car entertainment to prevent danger nap, ipad, music, window open
or
later bedtime / earlier morning

When you say feeds to sleep you mean bf, not bottle?

thanks for your responses.
I have pushed bedtime back as the week has gone on, in the hope he’d be more tired, and yesterday he didn’t nap at all, but it made no difference.
I cannot keep him awake in the car - I’ve tried everything. He won’t sit with the iPad, he throws it.

Lie in the bed with them until they fall asleep 🤷🏼‍♀️. I breastfeed my 2yo to sleep in bed still and lie with her, but 4 year old still wants someone to lie with him till he falls asleep. We’re working on that with him slowly though.

BF yes. I Bf him at nap time and bedtime. He falls asleep on me at nap time, so I lift him into bed. But he never falls asleep on me at bedtime. No idea why. It all happens in the same room.

Thank you. I can’t physically get in his bed - I’m too big/heavy. But I have tried sitting next to him with my arm in to hold. He’s not interested, rolls around the bed, sits/stands up.

I just co-slept for years with both of mine until they were ready to go in their own bed. It was the only way for me to get any sleep. I didn’t mind it.

Just an idea but is he 'attention seeking'. or does he feel he is missing out and that it MUST be more exciting than going to sleep. Would it possible to keep him up in the evening until he goes to sleep due to tiredness? Make him realise it can be boring!

(At one point, DH co-slept with one and I with the other.)

If he feeds to sleep is he actually capable of putting himself to sleep? Has he learned how to fall asleep independently. As he’s got older and his brain is more alert to his surroundings is he trying to play as he doesn’t know how to put himself to sleep?

Do you have a bedtime routine?

I know this is your third rodeo so apologies if this sounds judgemental - just trying to help.

I hope you get sorted! X

Did you go to bed when they went to bed? I’m happy to co-sleep…but I can’t go to bed at 7/8pm. I need to work/be with older kids in the evening.

I think he just wants to stay up and play/climb. He doesn’t want us in there.As soon as we leave the room he closes the door and starts climbing/playing.
Im reluctant to keep him up later until he’s knackered, because I have to catch up on work/be with older kids in the evening.

Doesn’t sound judgmental at all. I appreciate your response.
He previously fell to sleep in his cot at nighttime bedtime, usually within 15-20 mins of being put to bed. So he can do it.
Yeh always the same routine. Same book even because loves Goodnight Moon 🥰
He’s always been a runner/climber/wrecker. He’s very active and will find any way he can to escape/climb/do what he shouldn’t.

What would happen if you left him playing with his toys? My youngest was like this. We put a gate on the door and the lights were off ( landing night light on). He'd sometimes fall asleep on the floor but we'd wait until all was quiet then scoop him up and transfer him

Every child is different, as you’ll know. This does sound like the phase mine went through. They were just more aware that they could play at bedtime and suddenly seemed unable to turn of or put themselves to sleep. (After previously going to sleep independently without a problem) We dropped the nap , I appreciate you can’t do this. Could you put him back in his cot for safety.

Also, he’s got great taste in books 📚

I co slept with mine and I go to bed early as I have to be up at 5.30am for work. So no personal experience but my brother has had 3 kids who have all partied hard the second the sides are taken off the cot bed. He used to take everything they could climb on out the room temporarily, put a baby gate over the door and just put them back to bed repeatedly until they learned. I think his record was with the middle child. It was either 72 or 74 returns in 1 evening. I was in awe of him. I would have given up and changed strategy.

You see this was my plan after I’d lost the will to live returning him to his bed…we took the lightbulb out and thought we’d leave him to it. But then we found him on the windowsill…then on the drawers hanging from the shelf. We thought we’d removed anything he could stand on to get up, but he will use anything - any toy, to get up. I fear the only thing we can do is remove everything from the room except his bed. But I don’t have anywhere to put everything else without piling it all up in the lounge/my bedroom.

I’d love to put him back in his cot but he was consistently climbing out of it so it’s just not safe.
It’s a great book huh.

You have a climber then, I hope someone can help you. 🤞🏻 I’ve not experienced this.

That’s a lot of returns. I think my record is only 30 before I lost the will. Hats off to him!
I fear my only choice is to take everything out. I just haven’t got anywhere to put it.

Stair gate on bedroom door. Make sure bedroom is empty, safe and boring (so there are no playing opportunities)

I fear this is our not option - clear the room. I haven’t got anywhere to store the furniture in the house, so it would be a massive pita when it comes to his clothes.