Anyone else got a baby that can't switch off?

[claireybee]

DS just can't wind down to go to sleep and still goes from fine to overtired without any sleepy time in between. He has never done that head lolling eyes rolling thing but just screams when he gets tired. He needs to be rocked to sleep, and I don't mean just cuddled or gently rocked but bouncy rocky bop-around-the-living-room type rocking (and even then he often cries but less so than when put down). I don't mind for now because he is only 5 months but I am beginning to wonder if he'll ever be able to switch off to sleep or if I'll be rocking a hefty toddler to sleep every night!

I know of plenty of babies that need to be cuddled to sleep but none that require as much motion as my ds!

You are not alone! My 4 month old DD does exactly the same. I have just spent the past 2 hours bouncing her to calm her down and my shoulder is killing me.

I try to watch the clock as she tends to need a sleep 1.5 - 2 hrs after she woke from the last nap, I put her down in good time and sometimes a dummy helps, and sometimes pushing in the pram but more often than not she goes into meltdown and needs bouncing.

All ideas greatly welcomed!

Oh boy, they're mental these ones.

DS is 10 months and from about 2.5 weeks of age he has been one of those more tired = more agitated types.

Ray of hope - around 5-6 months old he started to go to sleep much easier - as if he realised that sleep is good. He still needed rocked to sleep, or fed, but it was less of a battle and he could be put down much sooner.

He's now still rocked or fed to sleep every night, but that's because it's the only way. He still cannot lie still in order to fall asleep so he has to be "distracted to sleep". Tonight I had to pin his arms down in the cot and shoogle him until he dropped off, and even then I could see his little legs twitching and his fingers curling, fighting the tiredness.

I have no idea when or if it will change, but it is a LOT easier to deal with now than it was then.

Thank god I'm not the only one!!

My LO always thinks there's far too many exciting things going on to go to sleep! He's 4 and a half months, and hasn't once fallen asleep by himself unless he's been in his pushchair or car seat. Every time he needs either feeding or rocking / walking / cuddling to sleep. What's more, unless he's in my arms, he won't sleep for more than about half an hour, other than at night.

He loves his dummy, but sees it as a plaything rather than a soother. Often I'll pin his arms down so he can concentrate on sucking it rather than playing with it.

It doesn't help that as soon as he's on his back he flips over to his front. This gets comical sometimes - someone described him today as a self-righting baby!

How do you guys get your LOs to nap during the day? Unless I can get a feed time to coincide with a nap time, I often have to wait until he's tired, put him in his cot with his grobag and music box and leave him to start crying. Once he's cried (often with me in the room with him) for about 10-15 minutes, he'll take a dummy again and go straight to sleep. However this doesn't always work, and sometimes I end up having to walk / jiggle him for up to an hour to settle him!

Naps during the day are complete trial and error. She'll sometimes take a dummy, sometimes fall asleep in the pram, sometimes she'll feed / comfort suck to sleep. Sometimes she needs rocking/walking, sometimes more vigorous bouncing.

I usually try all of the above with bouncing as the last resort. Some days she amazes me by going straight to sleep in her pram, others (like today grrrr) she needed 35 mins of bouncing. If she falls asleep on me and I try to put her down, she wakes up yelling.

She's never slept in her cot in the day, always on me or in pram. I've not yet tried letting her cry it out.

Night times (touch wood) are pretty OK once she's settled and now the colic has hopefully gone, but all the other babies I've met just seem to gently drift off in the day... no such luck here!

Naps? Honestly?

At 4-5 months of age, I had to rock him off to sleep for 45 minute naps, about 4 times a day, an he would wake if I stopped moving.

I honestly nearly had a breakdown.

Now he still gets rocked or fed for naps but he only needs 2 or 3 a day and he can be put down!

Oh I have this make of baby! The first 5 months were the hardest of my life. I would have to ferociously jiggle dd whilst blowing raspberries to get her to sleep..the sound seemed to calm her. Even then she would cry for up to an hour before falling asleep for 45 mins, then after an hour it would start all over again. I would go to baby groups and just look on open mouthed as babies would just start dozing on the playmats when they got tired! I would then leave with an overtired screaming baby writhing in my arms.

Like IAteRCFB, at about 5-6 months dd calmed a bit and can be fed to sleep now, with no crying. Bedtime is a bit harder than naps though; as she feeds to sleep her legs are kicking, hands clawing at my face/hair/her vest/whatever is within reach. At 9 months it is now a hundred times easier though.

It feels so much better just to know others have the same!
Jealous of those of you that can feed your lo's to sleep though, ds has only fed to sleep once or twice in total.
Someone said to me today "Try rocking him more gently, you're waking him up with all that bouncing" Am sure they meant well but do they really think I do all that movement through choice???

Somebody asked me how I'd lost all the baby weight so quickly - it's because I have to do 30 mins of high impact aerobic bouncing 4 times per day .... am hoping that this too shall pass.

DS was like this. Well, still is really! He does sleep in the day now, but usually on the 20 minute car journey from IL's to home each day. Which has only been happening since DD started school, so he'd have been about 2.4 years!!!!

I can now take him out of the car without him waking too so that he has at least 45 mins sleep during the day most days. If he has more, he's still up at 11pm or so at night.

Even now though, the more tired he is, the more energetic and 'bouncy' he seems to get. Total opposite to DD.

Where were you guys six months ago?!

Honestly, I was tied in knots trying to follow people's very kindly meant advice: "try shush pat", "walk him in the pram until he's asleep then come home and leave him in it", "go for a drive then park up once he's asleep".

Only NOW can we do these things (well, today for the first time in 10 months DP got him out of the car, into the house and into the cot without waking him - astounding!). He needs SO much sleep (he's back to bed 90 minutes after waking, sometimes for 2 hours!), and he's shattered by 7-8pm. But if he doesn't get the sleep he turns into the Twitch-o-matic 1000 and is nigh on impossible to settle.

Honestly, they're damn lucky we're not so big on natural selection these days.

Ds was like this. He needed a nap every 90mins or so but would go straight into overtired, hysterical mode, bypassing sleepy completely.

I remember meeting up with some antenatal friends once and the usual 40-60mins after arrival I knew ds was heading for a meltdown as he needed to sleep

At the same time as I was rocking, jiggling, walking and contemplating making my excuses to leave (I knew he was highly unlikely to sleep there but I was trying anyway) one of my friends said 'oh myds needs a sleep'

She went to get her car seat, plonked him in it amid 10 crawling crying babies, gave him a cuddly toy and HE FELL ASLEEP

I remember thinking 'Do some babies do that then?, how come mine doesn't?'

once took him

Six months ago I was pregnant, dreaming of my little girl who would never cry, would sleep with no problems etc etc ...

Now into hour 2 of trying to put her to bed - jiggling her up and down the patio is tonight's preferred method as chosen by our little princess - walk inside and she starts meeping

Putting her down before she gets overtired, shush pat, pick up put down, rocking in pram, driving in car and all other methods haven't worked reliably in the last 4 months so guess we'll just have to grin and bear it until she gets older and grows out of it. Not sure my back could cope until she is 2.4 though!

This thread is soooo reassuring (sorry ladies, I don't mean that I want you to feel the pain too but at least I know I'm not alone).

My DS has just turned 5 months. His sleep cycle in the day is a maximum of 30 minutes and then he just wakes naturally. To get him to sleep he has to be outside in a moving pram. He will wake shortly after the pram stops moving. He also gets tired very quickly (very energetic baby) and goes into meltdown rather than the whole eye-rubbing/yawning thing. I have had to turn down invitations from other mums as I literally have to spend my afternoons pushing him around for 2 hours so he gets a decent sleep. Meanwhile, they seem to sit down and read books, have picnics etc. It feels very isolating.

We've recently started using a dummy - this has helped immensely. He now associates it with going to sleep as opposed to a comfort thing. Another thing that has helped has been the purchase of a sunshade for the pram. We've ditched the parasol (too much faff moving it around constantly) and now have a spf 50 silver shade that fits on and makes the inside of the pram much darker. He seems to sleep better in this darker environment and he is less distracted by what is going on around him to wind him up.

Some days are horrendous. I think of the other mums with babies that just fall asleep and they have time to themselves. I simply have no time to myself as I spend the days getting him to sleep.

I'm hoping things will start to improve now he has reached 5 months, but we'll have to wait and see. This too shall pass.........

Another day of jiggling and crying...

I just wish there was a baby book written especially for babies like ours, as books like the Baby Whisperer and No Cry Sleep Solution just don't apply!!

Out of curiosity, does anyone whose baby was like this, but has now grown up - do they have problems with hyperactivity now they're older?

DD was like this - I was exhausted. She never slept for more than 45mins at a time in the day until she was a year old. Sometimes it could take her ages to go off to sleep, even in the pram or sling.

She is now a very willful and energetic toddler. BUT she does nap for 1.5 hours and sleeps well at night...doing controlled crying when she was 6mths old helped a lot.

To give you guys hope - DS napped for 2 hours yesterday morning and the day before. He's 10 months. He's still a fruitcake but much, much better. Hang on in there.

PS Naetha, interesting question and something I have pondered myself.

More hope here ... DD fell asleep in her swing this morning and her car seat this afternoon!!

We are now jiggling her up and down the patio again following earlier meltdown to try to get her to go to bed, but that's another matter ...

I know what you mean about it being isolating - I am sure the other Mummies look at me as if I am mad when I am dancing about with crying baby on my shoulder and they are reclining enjoying their tea. I just have to think that I am responding to DD's needs as best I can and have a lot to be thankful for that she is healthy, she will grow out of it etc.

This made for interesting reading Wonder Weeks (no idea if that link worked) - some weeks are definitely more trying than others.

Heh heh - yep, this all sounds very familiar. I remember being astounded by how still other people's babies were - mine never used to stop moving even when he was only a few days old. And the lengthy routines of songs, walking, bouncing we used to do in an attempt to get him to nap.

He's much better now though - goes down for naps in his cot and everything. Still moves constantly though, and has just learned to crawl at 7.5 months...

DD only feeds to sleep, so if she isn't tired enough at bedtime we have to wait an hour until we can try to feed her again, she used to like dummy, but now throws it accross room

Naetha I'm not sure-dd needed to be bounced to sleep to begin with but had grown out of it by 3 months or so and has always self settled at night since then. If I lie ds down awake he just starts twitching then wriggling then goes into meltdown mode so I think there are different levels of bouncybabyness.

On the up side dd was always quite advanced and rolled, crawled, walked, talked etc well ahead of her peers so I like to think it is a sign of intelligence and high ability!

I was pondering this as well claireybee. I think one of the reasons DS seems so hyperactive (not in a medical way, just in an always-on-the-go way!) is because he's always trying to do things that physically he's just not capable of. He learned to roll from back to front at 3 months, and at 20 weeks he's trying his hardest to crawl - just being let down by his upper body strength. His latest thing is to lie on his front and try and stand up with straight legs, which inevitably ends up with his face going into the floor, which he is less keen on.

We had an interesting time at baby massage yesterday. All the other babies lay there on their backs, cooing at their mums while they got a lovely massage. Ben immediately pinged onto his front, and refused to stay on his back at all. After about 10 minutes of this (and a well massaged back!) it took all my effort to try and distract him from his trying to stand / trying to crawl thing. The HV was singing his praises about how good he was on his front...little did she know it's more of a hindrance than a help!

Our latest way of falling asleep at the moment is to be jiggled around the bedroom while being told the story of the boy who wouldn't sleep until his mummy counted very slowly to 100. The lowest I've managed to get him to sleep to is 280!

In a desperate attempt to get my DS to have some sleep IN THE HOUSE during the day, I've resorted to buying one of these.

www.babyrockers.co.uk

Expensive I know, but I thought I could always resell it if it didn't work. Early days I know, but it arrived yesterday and he's in it just now and 1 hour on he's still asleep!

If only I had the room Lie flat pushchair too big to be put up indoors and stroller doesn't recline.

DD would fall asleep in the swing and from there learnt to self settle. Unfortunately it didn't work for DS and he would cry in it. I reckon if your LO is able to sleep in the pushchair then that is a step in the right direction, it is closer to being able to self settle than being rocked to sleep in your arms isn't it?

Yes, claireybee I suppose you're right. He hasn't slept in my arms since he was a newborn. The dummy has been a godsend - didn't want one initially but we had to give in and it works. He does sleep in the pushchair but only if it's moving, hence the purchase of the rocker. I really feel for you and can empathise. Mine also screams and screams the more tired he gets and then he just gets beyond tiredness and ready for another feed! I spend hours every day walking with the pram - not so bad when it's sunny but pretty miserable in the rain.

I'm sure all ours will get through it. It feels like hell at the time and it feels like it will never end but I doubt we'll be doing this with them when they're a year old

Grrr what's getting really annoying is that DS never spends any time on his back. He's always instantly on his front, and then (because he doesn't really want to be on his front) starts whinging and face-planting.

Just means he can't play by himself for more than about a minute.

[sigh]

(sorry having a tough day!)

Oh, and I'm so tempted by that dream-mover!