8.5 months old not sleeping!

[Hannah0120]

Hey all.. wondering if anyone could shed any light as I am massively sleep deprived!

My 8.5 month old suddenly will not sleep in her cot. She will be fast asleep in my arms and the minute she is put down she wakes up hysterically crying and then stops the second I pick her back up. On the off chance she does actually stay asleep when transferring her to the cot, it’ll last around 40 mins at most and then she’s up crying in hysterics again calling out for me! Again I pick her up and she falls straight back to sleep in seconds.. I have resorted to just putting her in our bed as this way we get a decent stretch at night (wakes around 4am for a bottle, to add her bedtime is 8pm has been since 2 MO) she sleeps soundly in our bed without a peep! Is this separation anxiety? She has just learnt to stand and glide herself along the settee so I did initially think that’s why she was frequently waking so much through the night but over the last week she just seems to want to be in our bed or cuddled in order to sleep. I never wanted to co sleep as I am really anxious about it which means even though she’s having a good sleep in our bed, sadly I’m not as I’m on edge all night. What do I do!

Separation anxiety starts to peak around this age. And probably a sleep regression too, anytime baby learns something new there's likely a sleep regression. It'll pass. We went through the same and lasted around a week for us. We coslept and usually do when he's struggling to sleep. I don't have any other advice apart from cosleeping and letting it pass. Do you have a spare bed that can just be used for you and baby? I always sleep away from partner now so we have more room. Is there any advice I can give you on cosleeping? It's totally safe if done correctly, we've done it alot and I definitely feel better about it now than when he was a newborn. It'll soon pass either way, hoping it's soon for you! Xx

I did think it was separation anxiety as she is getting very upset when I leave the room too. I just keep telling myself it’s not forever and will pass 🥺 unfortunately we don’t have a spare bed at the moment as we have only just moved into our new house so it’s just our bed and her cot the spare rooms completely empty. Any tips on cosleeping would be a great help please! May help me get a better kip not being as anxious. Thank you so much xx

So I keep my son in his sleeping bag, and I remove the quilt and pillows so there's nothing around us. If hubby's in the bed then keep it over his side and I'll usually put my dressing gown on if needed. Put baby next to wall if you can, rather than the middle. Just make sure there's no gaps between the wall and bed. And I wrap my arm around baby so he can't crawl off anywhere, but I do wake up as soon as he does. If you're not against a wall a bed rail might be good. Most important things are making sure there's nothing nearby you and baby and have as much room as possible. I do love cosleeping. Have a little look on the NHS website too for tips. It's safe to do as long as you're doing correctly xx

Thank you! I’ve just ordered a bed rail ready to collect tomorrow as our bed isn’t against a wall so hopefully this helps. She was in our bed again last night, she sleeps so soundly compared to her cot! I think another thing for me was, eventually I do want her to sleep in her own room and was worried starting to co sleep may make this very difficult 😕xx

Is it a mesh type one? I think some aren't recommended until they're a bit older but we had a mesh one that was breathable, like the next to me material. I would keep trying the cot, but cosleep if you need. She'll eventually go back in! I still cosleep now and again when needed and hes fine in his cot as soon as he's not in a regression or teething or whatever is wrong with him lol xx