3 year old won't go to bed

[emma2201]

Hi everyone, my 3 1/2 year has been good enough going to sleep. Obviously, had our struggles getting to bed but normally very good . We always bring her to bed and stay with hr till she sleeps. This last 4 weeks, her whole behaviour has changed, biting shouting hiting pulling hair at only me not her daddy especially at bedtime . It can take us up to 3 hrs to get her to sleep. We've tried usual routine books and quiet time . We shouted at her got really cross nothing works were exhausted wat else to do ? I have ordered a tonnie box as a last resort to see if that helps.

what time is she going to bed? Have you tried shifting is 30 mins later? It might be that she’s not tired enough at bedtime anymore.
Or any changes in routine lately? New childcare etc. Anything she could be anxious about?

Nothing changed she always went to bed 8/8:30 we've tried later but no joys doesn't help . Don't think there's anything for her be nervous about it's very out of character for her .

Has she had any other new symptoms throughout the day, such as upset stomach? Is her crankiness only in the evening at bedtime? Is everything otherwise good, or are you seeing other changes or things not in line with developmental milestones?

Have you tried changing the bedtime routine from sedentary activities like "book and quiet time" to something more active an hour or so before bedtime? So, for example, rather than going from dinner and bath to books and quiet time, you introduce playtime in the garden in-between? It may be that as she ages, she needs to exercise more to get to that restful state.

Her behaviour has changed through the day shouting, hitting etc at me aswell as bedtime we've tried reward charts but haven't bothered her . She bes outside alot especially in evening as we live in estate

Are you sure she's not overtired? Typicaly it's hard to go to sleep and turn off when they are and behaviour is difficult

Hi everyone Update got her a tonie box still hasn't helped she is still messing at bedtime . Aggressive only towards me I'm 9 weeks pregnant and it has literally feels like it's started from I found out but she doesn't know yet .we have our scan on Friday so hoping when we tell her things will change!! Still hitting biting smacking me completely different child all of a sudden . What everyone idea on stairgate on bedroom door so I can just walk away ? It's my last resort at wits end !

Is she napping in the day?

Definitely put a safety gate up.
Does she display this level of violence through out the day?
If she's 3 has she started nursery yet? This ca really affect a little one, my niece was a monster for the first few weeks.
Have you spoke with her during the day in calm moments to ask how she feels about bedtime/during those times? If she's communicating she should understand this question.

She doesn't be that cross during the day odd time will try and hit me or kick me just depends hich is new .Not at nursery until September. I've asked her why she dies it and doesn't give ne an answer

I would put a safety gate on the door, and tell her well before bedtime that yous are going to have bath, do stories, and then bed. If she starts to hit you or have a tantrum you will leave her in her bed to try and calm her body down. Keep checking every 5 mins on her. If she's screaming or kicking off at the gate just keep saying "you can have cuddles if you calm your body down, deep breathes". But at that age she knows what she's doing so I would leave her to tantrum on her own. Hitting and biting is not okay. She needs to learn you won't accept this behaviour.

My three year old is exhausted/asking to go to bed by 6:30 and nearly always asleep by 7:30. If we miss the boat and do a later bedtime then it’s like having a different child and similar behaviour to what you described. It’s overtired behaviour.

We are having the same issues and I hate to say it started when I was pregnant and now baby is 5 months and it's even worse. We are really struggling. It takes the whole evening to get him to sleep , soemtimes till midnight. Then his behaviour is really bad in the day time because he's just so exhausted. I think I'm going to reach out to the health visitor soon x