3 week old won’t sleep longer than an hour

[Nervousfirstbby]

Hi everyone,

I am just looking for a bit of reassurance as I am at a loss with what to do and how to carry on.

I had my little boy a bit over 3 weeks ago, since then we have had issues with his sleep. He will only contact nap and will not go down in his crib - I know this is normal newborn behaviour so we have been trying our best to manage this by taking shifts and cosleeping when we’re desperate. At first, baby would do 2-3 hours sleep but only if he was on somebody. Now he will not do longer than an hour whether it’s in our bed, on us, in the day or at night. This has been so difficult for me as my partner has now gone back to work and I’m getting 3 hours sleep at night maximum. I don’t know how I will keep going, I need some reassurance that it will get better from somebody else that’s had the same issue!

I have tried all of the usual, swaddle, white noise, transitioning when in a deep sleep, dark room. Within 5 minutes, he is often grunting and looking like he is in pain with gas and then starts crying. I don’t know what to do, I feel like a bad mum, I don’t know why he won’t sleep for longer. I am breastfeeding and he seems to be getting enough, he’s gaining weight and lots of dirty nappy’s.

please give me some hope!

My two were like this; I was obsessed with getting them to sleep 😅 Three weeks is still really little though. (Congratulations on your baby, by the way!) I’m not sure there’s much you can do before around six weeks, which is when their circadian rhythms kick in (if I’m remembering correctly, it’s a long time ago now).

So for now I’d just follow his lead; take him out in the pram - he might fall asleep and the fresh air will do you good. When you’re at home, can you have some hour-long naps when he does? I would say just get all the sleep you can - my friend used to just go to bed at 8pm so that even if she was up a lot she was sleeping inbetween.

He may well have tummy ache; mine did too, but it was a phase. Cycle his legs a bit to help him puff some wind out!

After about six weeks you can be a bit strategic - the dark rooms, keeping an eye on him for signs that he’s tiring - zoning out, staring off etc. If you get him down at this stage it’s much easier because it’s before he tips over into overtiredness, which makes it harder to fall asleep.

I never did sleep training per se, but I did do all of that stuff; out in the morning for fresh air and stimulation, naps mostly at home in the dark, checking for the zoning out after 1.5/2 hours of being awake, always always a v dark room, bedtime earlier rather than later. And dummies (for sleep only - left in the cots, they never had them in their mouths when they were up and playing as they got older) because a paediatrician said they needed that sucking sensation to self-soothe.

And my boys turned from nightmare non-sleepers into babies and then toddlers who would just roll over happily in their cot and fall asleep after they’d been fed and cuddled etc.

You're not a bad mum, you’re a brilliant one, just try not to worry. These early weeks are gorgeous but exhausting too. Don’t worry that you’re just sort of muddling through for now, we all do!