what to do please...

[pandagirl03]

me and dp have just got married, so we went away for a week with dd. dd is nearly 3yrs. Before we went on holiday had a few problems with dd's sleep as we moved her into a bed a few months before, but this all seemed to settle down. We went away for a week and dd went to bed great, slept in a room by herself as she has always done when away. Anyway since coming back everytime at bedtime we get a massive tantrum and her saying she is scared to go to bed, she gets put to bed at around 7pm but is not actually going to sleep until 9-10pm, she is also waking in the night and coming into our bed to sleep until the morning. Tonight we had thought she had gone to bed good, but i have been to check on her and she is in our bed fast asleep. What can i do?? I'm really not sure what has happened to cause this problem. Sorry for ranting just not sure what to do.

I think it's quite common for children to start being afraid of the dark at that sort of age. Don't think anything in particular triggers it off, it's just an innate fear. Do you have a nightlight or can you leave a light on just outside her room? For the coming into bed with you in the middle of the night or getting in when you're not there I would just take her back to her own bed without question. We had this with our ds, we were quite strict and said no back to bed, it's very late. Does she have a favourite toy she goes to bed with? With ds we made out that his monkey (or whatever) would be very upset if he left him on his own in the bed, we made his room look really cosy and put a photo of me, dp, dd and him on the wall next to his bed for him to look at if he wanted to and I said I'd come up and check on him when he was asleep. It worked for him, although we can't do anything about him not going to sleep straight away, we explain that he'll be tired at school etc, but can still hear him chattering away at about 9.00 sometimes.

We installed a dimmer switch in DDs room. Sometimes she goes to bed with the light on and we turn it down when we go up to bed. Sometimes she tells us how dark is dark enough.

Having said that she's come into our bed both nights this weekend with nightmares (night 1: giant bee. Night 2: Granny took all my skin off )

we have bought her this disney princess torch/nightlight for her room she has it by her pillow, she doesn't really have a favorite toy but does have a few in her bed. none of these seem to work. I like the idea of a photo, i will look one out tom and put that next to her bed on the wall. Im just at a loss why she has started this. On the plus her behaviour in the day has got alot better and she only plays up when tired. I'm worried not having much sleep will affect her behaviour at pre-school. Last monday they told me she was crying quite a bit and asking for her mummy, she never normally does this and always ask's for daddy when shes upset.

I've just read back on my post and should say that this weekend has been the exception rather than the rule. She became scared of the dark at about 2.6 and started to need a light left on. The dimmer thing works really well because it's understood by both her and us that the level it's set at is entirely up to her.

It's upsetting and a worry though. I feel for you.

I wouldn't worry about why she's doing it. It's very normal and part of growing up and insecurities about big bad world. Probably nothing in particular causing it.