Why are naps so much harder?!

[SleepObsessedMum]

I have a little 5 month old who can self-soothe at night and sleeps through for a solid 11 hours and it's amazing! I absolutely take this as a win and I know many other parents still have this struggle.... but....on the other hand I can't seem to get him to self-soothe at all during the day! I was up until recently doing 1 nap in the cot and 3 contact naps which meant i had to sit down for hours at a time. He wouldn't sleep with the movement in a carrier so it meant I felt stuck unable to do anything else. We've also had some hot weather recently and i found the contact naps unbearable in my well insulated house and I've decided its time to nap train. He is resisting so badly! I'm 7 days in and no improvement really. I started with 2 naps then moved onto 4 as I want quick results though I don't seem to be getting them! I've been using cry it out (please don't judge me) as he is definitely worse if i go back in the room, if i pick up and put down and I don't have the room for the chair method in my small nursery. I am writing down nap times and protest times, I'm being very consistent every time and following sleepy cues above wake windows. I'm using the 1 hour rule and if he's not napped by then i go get him and wait for the next sleepy cues. I do short naptime routine with story under red light whilst in the cot every time and he always smiles during this. I have a complete blackout blind and the room is in entire darkness, no sleep aids accept white noise machine in use. I'm dressing appropriately for the room temperature. He is perfectly well in himself when i have him with me. As i say he self-soothes at night and I've seen some scarce self soothing behaviour during the day but mostly just crying to sleep. Any help, advice, tips? Do i just need to persevere? I can't wait to be through this!

Dies he needs 4 naps a day if sleeping 11 hours at night?

Could just not be tired.

Doing cry it out unsuccessfully 4x day for a week is unreasonable. You need to try something else.

I found the first nap of the day was by far the easiest so I concentrated on that one for a bit first.

Also there's an app called Huckleberry that you can record naps and nighttime sleep on. The paid version actually suggests nap times for you based on the baby's age and their previous sleep...I found this super helpful for several months until my baby started only having 2 naps per day. It gives you confidence to pop them down without second guessing whether they're tired enough etc.

I didn't have nap times for my 4 they were tired or not tired so just went with the flow. I didn't worry if they didn't nap as they didn't need one.

He's been having 5 naps actually as he can only manage 30 minutes at a time before waking up. Because of the short naps he cant cope for being awake as long. I'm only taking him to his cot when he starts rubbing his eyes a lot which tells me he's pretty tired. What else can I do? i mentioned the other methods don't work. Again I ask for no judgement

I already use the pampers sleep coach app which is basically the same. It helped me get him to sleep through the night. But naps seems to be another thing entirely

I really don’t think you should be leaving your little 5 month old to cry it out, especially when he’s sleeping 11 hours at night so you don’t even have the excuse of being exhausted and unable to cope.

He will settle into a nap routine in his own time but if he’s crying I would try and soothe him or pick him up and give him a cuddle to resettle him. I have this with my own daughter who often takes very short naps, but I certainly don’t think withholding comfort is the way to solve it. They are very little and it’s just a phase, as inconvenient as it may be.

What is the 1 hour rule? I really hope that’s not leaving him to try and sleep for an hour as that is just not fair and potentially damaging to leave a baby distressed for that length of time.

It's really easy to say that in your position. You have no idea what things i need to get on with in my own life so thanks for being that "Judgy parent and making me feel awful when I'm already finding this hard! I don't need to justify myself to you. I look at an evidence base when making these decisions and the evidence base suggests there are no lasting effects of the CIO method. The 1 hour rule is supposed to allow your baby to have the opportunity to "self settle" without rushing in and preventing that from ever happening, and at 5 months he should be developmentally ready for this step. If i stay in the room he cries more. If i pick up put down its even worse. He wont sleep in car, he wont sleep in a pram, he wont sleep in a baby carrier. My house is a furnace in the hot weather and the contact naps are not good for him as he overheats. I need to make a change. I feel trapped, I can't go anywhere because he wont sleep anywhere.

Well i couldn't be you! And experts say anything between 4-6 months if self-soothing behaviours are shown and he is showing them at night as I said in my post. I don't want him to rely on me when he can learn to get himself to sleep and that's my preference, and i need my time back for my own personal reasons which I don't have to share with you. I'm watching him on the monitor, he is safe. There's no evidence of lasting effects from CIO. Thanks for being another Judgy parent.

No, the evidence is mixed at best, some sources say no effect, some sources say it does effect, why wouldn’t you err on the side of caution when it comes to your child? Besides, ALL sources agree any form of CIO/sleep training involving crying shouldn’t be done until over 6 months,

You can call me a judgy parent all you want but leaving a five month old baby to cry for up to an hour is dreadful. I’m the mother of a younger baby who sleeps quite a bit less than yours so there’s no “in my position” about it.

4-5 naps is lots for a 5 month old, most would only be on 3 naps at this age even if that was 3*30 minutes. Average sleep needs from 4-12 months is 12-16 hours of total sleep in 24 hours so even 3 shorter sleeps may be fine if he is getting 11 hours overnight. I would try to stretch out his wake windows very slightly until you get to the point of 3 naps per day, being a little more tired should help him to be able to sleep in other ways e.g. in the pram or car.

Leaving him to cry is not achieving anything positive for him, far better to try to shift his sleep patterns to increase sleep pressure by nap time and also to accept that at this stage he is not comfortable being put down to sleep for naptime, same as many if not most babies of this age.

What's his daily schedule look like?

Thank for your response. It's definitely been the most constructive. I have been following his sleepy cues every time. He starts to rubbing his eye a lot and then pulling on his ears so that's when i start his naptime routine. Surely i need to go by that more than wake windows? I was also taught that shorter naps of less than an hour end up with with shorter wake windows. I am wondering whether to push him a bit tomorrow and see whether some sleep pressure builds. He does all the self- soothing behaviours at night and I'm putting him in the same bedspace. I am happy to accept i may have to wait a little bit longer. I thought all the signs told me he was ready

at 5 months he should be developmentally ready for this step

I really don't know how anyone can say that.

Think about how human brains and bodies are still evolved for being hunter gatherers, moving in tribes, there being multiple dangers from the natural world. There is no way it's "developmentally normal" to expect a baby not to protest when left alone for an hour, and to be really upset about it.

There are plenty of responsive methods. And you get 11 hours out of him overnight, I think your expectations of amount of daytime sleep is unreasonable if he's communicating to that he's not up for sleeping at that time.