In awe of new friend at baby group who had 3 kids

FTMbizzylizzy · 2025-05-02T12:07:43+00:00

I feel like I’m going wrong. I am a FTM and in awe of a friend I have met recently whose baby is her 3r d. I am struggling on lack of sleep with only one, I just don’t know how parents with multiples do it? We have struck up a friendship and I just feel in awe of her in many ways. Is this normal? Hormones?

OhHellolittleone · 02/05/2025 13:35

Honestly, I felt the same. Literally no idea how anyone had more than one. But now I do and it’s not that bad. She probably felt the same when she had 1! It’s busier, but generally it’s just logistics. The first is the hardest because that is the HUGE change of lifestyle, loss of sleep, everything is new and you second guess yourself.

But It’s not a bad thing to look up to her. Tell her how you feel, she’ll reassure you.

LadyKenya · 02/05/2025 13:41

Unless they are triplets, then there will be gaps between them. You do not say what ages they are. She may also be fortunate, and have a lot of family help, as well as a Husband, or partner, who does their fair share.

BernardButlersBra · 02/05/2025 14:02

I have twins and the early days were super hard. But 3 children is next level is my opinion -we are sticking at 2

littleorangefox · 02/05/2025 14:12

The thing is, one child can feel like just as much work as 2 or more! It depends on the individual child. I say this as a mum of 4 (including a set of twins) who completely understands that one child can be such hard work and the shock of going from no kids to a parent is huge. Tbh my 4th has been the hardest just based on the type of baby they are. It's such early days still so you'll still be getting into the swing of things :)

springhassprun · 02/05/2025 14:23

The first is by far the hardest - you can still remember what a lie in felt like and are almost grieving your former life. By baby number 3 you’ve forgotten what the old normal felt like!
You also know that everything is a short lived phase that they will grow out of, and you have learnt from experience about what works and doesn’t work for you. Also, older children entertain, tire out their siblings and show them the routine from day 1 so it is much easier.

eyeswide21 · 02/05/2025 14:26

I always wonder this. I have a 2yr old and just about to have my second and I'm in disbelief and awe at people who have more. My husband is one of 5 and our neighbour has 4 kids and I just simply don't know how parents of this many do it. Amazing

TeenLifeMum · 02/05/2025 14:28

BernardButlersBra · 02/05/2025 14:02

I have twins and the early days were super hard. But 3 children is next level is my opinion -we are sticking at 2

I had a toddler when baby number 2 turned out to be twins. At that point you can either be a stress head or super chilled… you lower your standards massively. Fed and clean are the essentials and anything else is a bonus. Screen time for older dc a must - thank you CBeebies!

Growsomeballswoman · 02/05/2025 14:32

I had dts on my own. The baby and toddler years were fine but that’s because they slept through from 5 months. The teen years however are going to be the death on me

LeopardPants · 02/05/2025 14:32

Definitely depends on the child - I have three but luckily they got easier. First was a nightmare (reflux, really poor sleep) glad didn’t have that one last! And he’s older now so helpful with the smaller ones

DUsername · 02/05/2025 14:35

I found becoming a mum the hardest bit of parenting - even though my first child was (and still is in some ways) my easiest. Numbers 2 and 3 were far less of an adjustment. I had already adjusted to parenthood and lack of sleep. Number 3 was the easiest in many ways, when you're already dealing with 2 young kids, one more doesn't seem to make much difference

letsnotIRL · 02/05/2025 14:41

I am in awe of my friend all the time, she has 3 DC, age 8, 3 and 1. The oldest is disabled and needs 24/7 care, her 3YO and 1YO are crazy together. She does it all herself! My honest hand on heart hero. We did a beach day the other day and you should have seen her pushing a wheelchair in one hand and a buggy in the other 😲 smashed it. I tell her I'm in awe all of the time, she really appreciates the comments being honest because she said she feels overwhelmed and stressed a lot of the time. She looks so graceful and in control though! You should tell your new friend.

notsureyetcertain · 02/05/2025 14:43

Every situation and child are completely different. I had two kids in my twenties, I worked as a childminder and looked after up to 4 more kids at a time. I also studied part time for a degree and volunteered with Samaritans.

fast forward 20 years and I’ve had another child he has additional needs , I’m permanently exhausted, I only work part time now and I couldn’t imagine having any more kids or additional responsibilities.

BernardButlersBra · 02/05/2025 15:42

TeenLifeMum · 02/05/2025 14:28

I had a toddler when baby number 2 turned out to be twins. At that point you can either be a stress head or super chilled… you lower your standards massively. Fed and clean are the essentials and anything else is a bonus. Screen time for older dc a must - thank you CBeebies!

Show quote history

Having twins had already lowered our standards. It’s more 3 children would take over our life too much both financially and practically, we are starting to get our lives back a bit so wouldn’t go back. To honest if the twins had been a singleton, they probably would have been an only child

urghhh47 · 02/05/2025 15:46

I have 9. Not had a full night since before I was pregnant with the eldest over 24 years ago. TBF I'm quite a poor sleeper and children have exaccebated that now. Youngest (4yrs old) sometimes sleeps through now but I don't 🤦

Scottishskifun · 02/05/2025 15:49

I think for many women it's a much tougher life adjustment going from zero to 1 then 1 to 2 etc.
Those who go from any point to multiples at the same time I take my cap of and salute!

Cryingatthegym · 02/05/2025 15:52

springhassprun · 02/05/2025 14:23

The first is by far the hardest - you can still remember what a lie in felt like and are almost grieving your former life. By baby number 3 you’ve forgotten what the old normal felt like!
You also know that everything is a short lived phase that they will grow out of, and you have learnt from experience about what works and doesn’t work for you. Also, older children entertain, tire out their siblings and show them the routine from day 1 so it is much easier.

I have three and agree with this. I'm institutionalised at this point. My standards and expectations have completely changed since my first.

mathanxiety · 02/05/2025 15:54

It's hard to make the jump from one to two, but after that you are definitely in a zone. Had five myself.

mathanxiety · 02/05/2025 15:56

@urghhh47
Sleep definitely went by the wayside for me. It took me years to reestablish solid sleep patterns for myself, probably until my youngest was eight.

GroovyChick87 · 02/05/2025 15:57

I've got 4. The first one takes some getting used to but with each baby I gained more confidence and knew what to do more and more. Also, some babies are easier than others and different ages and stages vary in how easy or difficult they are. I believe to some it comes more naturally and to others it's a struggle but most of us get the hang of it in the end.

Lidlisthebusiness · 02/05/2025 16:07

I've recently had my 6th. I had numbers 2, 3 and 4 all in 3.5 years. I think 3 to 4 was the trickiest jump, 2 to 3 was easy as they were so close in age I just thought if I'm doing one nappy then I might as well do two, same for naps etc. My newest one is by far my best sleeper, but is refluxy which none of the other have been, so it's swings and roundabouts.

TeenLifeMum · 02/05/2025 16:26

Growsomeballswoman · 02/05/2025 14:32

I had dts on my own. The baby and toddler years were fine but that’s because they slept through from 5 months. The teen years however are going to be the death on me

Laughing because I’m here too - sending solidarity! We’ve got this 💪