how can we reduce waking during night (at least to once/hour)?

[MamaChris]

ds is getting to be a worse and worse sleeper he used to sleep in an open cot next to our bed, wake 4 times a night (I would pull him into the bed, bf to sleep, then back in cot if I was still awake). But he started waking more and more often and now he's in our bed from about 11pm as I'm just too tired to stay awake and put him back after feeds.

But this last week, a typical sleeping pattern is sleep at 7 (this bit always works well), then wake at 9, 10, 10.30, 11 then 3-4 times/hr till 5 or 6.

I think he's started teething. But is the cosleeping is making things worse? (I think he smells me and wakes for little snacks). But when he was sleeping better (and in the cot all night) he would happily sleep from 7-11, then not wake till 2. We don't get to bed till gone 10, so it's not my smell waking him up before then.

What can we do to extend these sleeps? I'm not getting more than 20 mins continuous and I'm so tired I'm started to see things move (when they're not supposed to be, iyswim).

How old is he?

sorry - 15 weeks old

Is he having a decent feed before bed? Is it worth trying to express some BM and giving it to him in a bottle at bedtime, that way you're know he's full up to start.

How long does he feed for during the night? Could it be a growth spurt?

My DS used to snack non-stop until I started giving him EBM in bottles. Turned out that because his latch wasn't great, he'd only feed during the first big let-down so would get lots of foremilk, but hardly any hindmilk, and would therefore want to eat very very frequently. I was getting so little sleep that I was seeing things, and really struggled at night times - I almost fell over while carrying DS a number of times because I was so exhausted.

At 15 weeks breastfeeding should be well enough established, it shouldn't be too much of a problem trying a bottle of EBM or if you have trouble expressing a bottle of formula? Also if you give him a bottle on a night, then your DH can give you a hand and you can have a decent nap!

Hope this advice helps - and that's all it is, just advice - I hope you can make an informed decision for what's best for you

Thanks for the advice. And nice (for me) to know I'm not alone in hallucinating He feeds loads before bed. But the nighttime feeds are really quick, and I can't persuade him to wake up and feed more. Also, he's so far refused all attempts to give EBM. I think trying to get him to eat more when he wakes would be good, but don't know how - perhaps I should go back to the old techniques when he was a newborn and strip him down to keep him awake?

my ds's sleep went haywire at exactly this age. it seems to be common; lots of people posted on here. it is very tempting to think a bottle or formula or even early weaning would help and that is what my (totally unsupportive to bf) family all suggest, but most people say it doesn't make any difference.

it is horrible being sleep deprived and it was spoiling my enjoyment of my baby and mat leave. i hope we are coming out of this now, the last few night were a bit better (ds 5months). I have been using the no cry sleep solution ideas with some limited slow success. It has suggustions for frequent bf and co-sleepers (inc how to get baby out of bed into a cot). My mother is pushing me to use a dummy which i'm reluctant to, but a couple of times when i'm desparate it has got him to sleep without bf.

my ds became very nosey in the day and didn't feed very well so was making up for it at night I think.

Lots of hugs, it is awful, but won't last forever.

I have to admit - in your situation I would definitely try a dummy - it could just be that he's waking for comfort, and using you as a dummy.

They're not the demon some people make them out to be, and certainly saved my sanity in the early days! DS is now nearly 5 months, and decided a couple of weeks ago he didn't want his dummy any more. There's more ways of convincing a toddler to get rid of a dummy than there are ways to soothe a baby that wants to suck.

Today I've encouraged him to cluster feed since 4pm, and I'm hoping that will help fill him up. Also planning to try and wake him up properly when we go to bed with a nappy change in the hope he'll have a better feed then. Fingers crossed!

I've read no cry sleep solution, but need to reread to put it into practice. I guess one of the things I liked about it is it's not a recipe book, but that also means you have to think harder about which bits of advice will suit your situation. And we tried dummies a couple of weeks ago, but ds spat them right out. I've tried back rubbing and patting to soothe him back to sleep, but he always wants to suck! A dummy sounds lovely to me, and bf is well established now.

Both of these are worth giving another go. Thanks for your replies, feel more positive now I have a (sort of) plan

It is possible to completely avoid using "controlled crying" technique. I think the "it won't last forever" comment is very true. Same thing happened with mine so I went fulltime co-sleeping and used the cot as a playpen... Dummies can help but some babies just won't take them. If you do decide to do the co-sleeping thing it's a huge relief when you stop giving yourself a hard time about it.

we are basically co sleeping (but dp is not comfortable with it). will not do controlled crying - just hate the idea of ds ever crying himself to sleep.

last night his first sleep lasted only 50 mins and next one 20! someone had suggested teething, so we tried a small dose of calpol and it went much better - 3 periods of 1-2 hours sleep after that don't want to unnecessarily drug him, but if it was pain keeping him awake, then feel really bad for the poor little thing

Have you got a spare room with a double/single bed in, or even a spare bed that will fit in your room? If dp really doesn't want to do co sleeping you could compromise and put ds to sleep in one bed and then hop between the beds. This means ds can't smell you all the time so might sleep longer but still gets to snuggle up for feeds. You can get non-falling-out-of-bed-things if you're worried about ds ending up on the floor. It's a bit tiring but maybe worth a try?

Also your ds is still so young it is completely normal to wake up loads. I'd be much more worried if a 15 week old was sleeping for huge stretches of time, remember their tummies are still really small.....

don't worry, and keep going with avoiding controlled crying. I felt like the only person who didn't think it was a great idea but now both my ds's (2 and 3) sleep in their own beds through the night having never cried themselves to sleep. I promise it's worth it.

i too would try the dummy first in case he is just wanting to comfort suck