Help with training 9 month old

[Harper11]

Hi, I would like some advice and guidance on sleep training my 9 month old before I contact a sleep trainer I’d like to try myself.
currently my son co-sleeps at night, his naps are on the bed (he is not rolling and is safe) we have tried to transition him to his own room but he refuses to sleep in his cot. He’s room is not big enough for either me or my partner to sleep in there with him.
I currently rock him to sleep and when he initially falls asleep I put him in the cot but within 40mins to an hour he is waking up constantly until I’m too tired to keep going and put him in the bed, when he is in the bed he is waking up maybe 6 times to contact sleep which he never has done at night and rarely does throughout the day.
I'm exhausted and on breaking point.
Any tips and guide would be helpful
thank you

The key thing is for him to fall asleep on his own. If he falls asleep in your arms every time, he will expect to still be in your arms when he wakes briefly (like we all do).

I can't recommend a particular technique, at 9 months they are all going to be quite hard. It's not too late but the method will depend on how much crying you're willing to put up with.

Personally, gentle sleep training methods didn't work for my baby. It was stimulating him more us trying to rock, shush or pat him and being in the room with us really really upset him. The only thing that worked for him is actually leaving him to it. He cried (hard!) for 20 minutes but then started happily babbling to himself and then put himself to sleep. This was at just under 6 months.

Even now, if he is overtired he will often cry for 5-10 seconds when i put him down. But then he starts rolling around, making himself comfortable and falls asleep.

Hi @Harper11

Sorry you’re having such a tough time of it. Couldn’t read and run.

I echo everything @123EndOfRope67 . We sleep trained at 6 months and best decision I’ve made for my baby. They now sleep through 7-7 most days.

We used Ferber technique which is like a modified cry it out where you pop in at specific times. You can find a chart on google for the timings . I know lots of people who did a modified more gentler approach to Ferber but to me it just drags it out and means everyone is getting less sleep for longer.

A few tips:

1)if you decide to do it - you will need to be consistent, have support if you can and wine! It’s hard hearing your baby cry, but remember in the long run they will be crying much less overall and sleeping better

2) the first 2 days for me were the worst - it may seem to begin with your getting less sleep than before you decided to sleep train but this should soon pass.
3) try to avoid starting if they’re teething as the pain makes everything worse

Good luck and happy for your PM if you want specifics of what we did but I think everyone does it slightly differently.

Thank you both for your messages, I have tried to settle him in his room and play there and it seems to be going well. I will now try and work on self settling as he is still having only 45 mins naps or waking up every sleep cycle at night. Some nights have been longer and I’ve had a few hours which is a result but there is still a lot of work to be done. For me it’s the crying I’ve tried to leave him and come back in intervals but it’s to painful right now to hear him cry as he’s such a happy baby otherwise.
thank you for the tips