Toddler won't sleep and it's driving me mad!

[FedUp120028]

He's nearly 2. He goes down at around 8 perfectly fine but then he's up at 2.30-3.30 every morning then won't go back down till 9.30. I'm exhausted! I have an older one to get to school etc and when I'm working I start at 7.30am with a 12.5hr shift and I just can't sustain like this.

My heartfelt sympathy. Our DS was a terrible sleeper. Coping with the sleep depravation was so hard, especially as I was continually trying to hide it at work and from others I just knew would be judgemental. Until someone has been through it with a non-sleeper, it is hard to truly understand.

All I can do is hold out hope - it will resolve at some stage. Hang in there.

Is he able to tell you why he is waking? Hunger? Loo? Cold/hot? Missing you? Maybe slightly later bedtime?

So difficult as even if speaking well at that stage, conversations tend to be a bit surreal 😂 (got to laugh, I know there times I could have wept).

Is he sleeping long at 9.30am, so he is getting to make up for it? In which case, you know you've got to break that cycle, maybe with a really on the go day, big dinner, supper of porridge, quiet wind down (books, no screens) and as little interaction during the night as possible

Easier said than done, but all best.

With hindsight, I battled with DS over sleep. With our next I was so tired I just got in beside them before they woke up too much and slept together - people will probably judge - but I wish I'd just done it with DS too, time together when little is precious and they learn to sleep on their own eventually.

If he’s awake 2:30 - 9:30, it’s a pretty bad split night. It’s likely he’s having far too much sleep in the day, and his sleep pressure isn’t enough.

At 2, any day sleep was too much for my toddler, he’d be awake for ages if he napped at all. A couple of friends could get away with an hour or so but then bedtime would be around 10pm, not 7.

How are the naps? It sounds like he has night and day mixed up.

Same age kid, mine can nap 2hrs in day, nights I think is teething and illness though - partner is sleeping in the room with him

Gosh this sounds so so hard. How long is he sleeping at 9am for? Does he just do one nap during the day?
Does he fall asleep on his own?
Plenty of outdoor active play?

My Dd2 has been a completely different sleeper from my Ds1. She just does not need as much sleep and needs much longer awake times.

Agree with the poster above that you need to shift it into a routine where he naps for an hourfomom say 12-1pm, bedtime at 8pm and hopefully he will start sleeping till 5/6am. You might need to push out the morning 9am nap by half an hour every couple of days to get there gently.

Good luck x

What’s happening sleep wise during the day?

Thank you for getting it 🩵

He doesn't talk but I do think it's teething or hunger if he refuses to eat.

He naps once generally, occasionally twice.

I've tried shortening his naps and even removing them but it makes no difference!

That said, he's napped 2hrs the last 2 days and slept till 7/8-5

Yeah same here. I just don't have a helping hand in the form of a partner. I think teething yes and sometimes he's had a poo or wakes up and has one shortly afterwards.

He's active yes but doesn't walk yet so no running around outside.

He goes nursery full time 10hrs a day. At 9am it's generally been an hour and yes he falls asleep on his own. My daughter slept so much, I can't believe the difference.

I do think it's teething and needing to go the toilet. Last 2 nights we've had 5am wake up.

Hi @FedUp120028 if the split nights continue please consider approaching your GP for a referral to paediatrics about your 2-year olds sleep. My son was the same after he turned 2. Split nights waking at midnight and going back asleep around 5am, not every night but at its worst it was every second night. it nearly broke us. I went to the GP over a year later and at age 4 he started on medication. Before it gets to this point we had to keep a sleep diary, go on parenting sleep courses about good sleep hygiene, our son had bloods done to rule out anything else. This all took 6-ish months but had no impact - in the end it was medication that gave us our lives back. This is obviously the extreme end of a treatment for a sleep disorder but the whole thing took time so possibly no harm in asking for help / professional advice now. We have since had another baby and I’m now sitting up with her at this crazy hour 🤪

good luck x

Are you sure he doesn't have 2 ir even 3 naps at the nursery? Had very similar problem, used to spent almost all night awake and couldn't understand where is the problem. Found out that my son spent almost all day outside at nursery, was obviously more tired and nursery staff happily allowed him to nap multiple times a day!