DD 6 not being able to sleep since holiday in own bed

[PickledMuffin]

that’s about it really. Went on a two week holiday and since coming back DD 6 is unable to sleep in her own bed in her own room. She says that she is scared and wants to be in bed with us. It gets to the point of when she comes downstairs to be with us. I take her back but she’s then beside herself crying. She’s awake even now after i have taken her back to bed again for the 8th time.

On holiday, she went to sleep in her own bed by herself, it was in a room with us but we weren’t in the room when she went to sleep.

Any tips on how to help console her and help her to self-soothe? It’s like i’ve gone back to the early toddler days 😟

Ah, I feel your pain! I think in this circumstance, for whatever reason, your DD feels unsafe at night and needs connection with you right now to be able to sleep. If she isn’t ND and has no MH issues, then it will pass soon in all likelihood.

If she will go to sleep in her room but then gets upset when she wakes up, we ended up having what we called DS’s nest - a mattress on the floor next to our bed - until he was able to sleep through in his own bed again. And he did.

It is a season of your lives and will probably pass soon. Might just have been the disruption of the holiday that started this off, but I’d carry on digging to find out if there’s anything else going on like problems at school too.

Her feeling safe will help this to end sooner. Trying to force her to sleep in her room all night if she’s getting distressed will probs make it last longer. Hope that helps.

thank you so much for your reply.

Maybe sit just outside her door with a good book, while she's dropping off to sleep? No interactions though! You're there, but you're boring. Then either gradually move further away or once she's falling asleep with no fuss just go back to what you usually do.

We did similar to @SkipToTheLight when we moved overseas and a similar thing happened.

i kept a small mattress next to my side of the bed and Dd would come into it during the night, lay down and we would hold hands while we both went back to sleep. I didnt make up the bed or anything, she would come in the night trailing her blankly and a small pillow - it was a hot country (bless her).

I always thought how from her point of view mummy and daddy got to sleep together in the same bed and she had to sleep on her own in a separate bedroom.

As your DD won’t settle at all in her own room you may have to try a few options first.

Perhaps she could to sleep in her own room, but she can go to her place in your bedroom (would she do that when you are not there?) It’s possible she may, because she knows she won’t be on her own all night?

Ideally, you make it a habit that she goes to sleep in her own bed each night.

But to be honest it’s usually just a phase and most children grow out of things like this. But you know your child and whether this could possibly more of a challenge.

As a much much older adult, I’ve only recently have begun to be less fearful of the dark. Personally I’d always err on the side of kindness, but each family is different.

thanks for the replies everyone. I’ve been doing the slow retreat and it seems to be working (so far) 🤞

Did you manage to get you DD to sleep in her own bed? I’m currently having a similar issue with a child the exact same age