Moving cosleeping 2.5 year old to own room and bed - night 5 help please

[MaybeItsTimeForMeNow]

RAny advice please. Moving 2.5 year old to her bed after cosleeping
It's just been night 4 and I'm shattered. Night 1 I held her hand for 1.5 hour, she slept for 4 hours, then 3 and then 2, than basically she was impossible to resettle. Nights 2-4 I've slowly stopped holding her hand as I felt I was creating a new crutch, and instead of sitting next to her bed I've moved to a chair in the corner of the room. Now she falls asleep within 5-10minutes however instead of the longer stints she's waking up after the first 4 hour stint, every 30-60 minutes. I'm pretty broken!

I also have a 5 and 7 year old who are on Easter holidays. I timed it for this break so I didn't have work but now conscious the kids want to go out and about and I'm exhausted. DH finished work yesterday so as of yet hasn't helped other than taking her around 5-7am, but will be able to drive us around for the remainder of the break.

What's next? I'm not sure I have the stamina for another week 😴

Have you cut her nap out completely?

She hasn't napped other than sleeping in the car on occasion for around a year. Yesterday she had a 20mim sleep in a car journey home at around 12

What time is bedtime? She sounds like she has low sleep needs for her age - have you tried putting her to bed later? My first woke similarly to yours and I always assumed she was overtired but she was in fact not tired enough. (All the advice tells you they must be overtired so to put them to bed even earlier)

Ok. She's goes to bed at around 7pm. When she was cosleeping she would sleep til 6.30pm.

Am even!

I would say you are doing well to get her to sleep alone for 4 hours, after always co- sleeping.

I moved ds to his bed when he was 3 but he was very verbal by then and we had talked about it, planned the present he would get after sleeping for a week in his 'big boy bed'.

Is she old enough to understand/choose fairy lights or a special night lamp for her room? Soft music cd or story book? Keep on visiting her room in the day and make it a special place for her; get her to put her teddy to bed in there for a nap and draw the curtains for him and say goodnight.

Or you could accept that she isn't ready to stay all night and settle her in her own bed for the first 4 hours and let her toddler through and join you when she wakes.

Or you can go for controlled crying and insist she stays put. We had to do that with ds2 as I was really ill. Dh put him to bed and used the phrase 'Sleep time now. Go back to sleep' - every time he woke. The first night dh got basically no sleep. It was awful. The second night ds woke briefly, twice, and the third night we had just one whimper then peace.

Best of luck.

Could either you have a mattress on her floor or she have one on your floor for when she wakes so you are in the same room but not same bed for the rest of the night?

What was the reason for stopping Co-sleeping.

There isn't space to sleep on the floor. We have a large chair in the room but I'd be broken to sleep in it. We're stopping because she keeps us both awake sleeping sideways etc, kicking all night.

Could she sleep on your floor only needs a cot size mattress. Take the chair put the room?

No there isn't really space. She's still getting me up pretty much every hour. She's brilliant at getting back in to bed and falls asleep with no contact but wants me to sit in the chair. Obv she wakes and notices I'm not there and comes to get me. I've tried getting her to fall asleep by herself but this has led to a couple of hours of her crying, coming to get me and I put her back in bed calm her down, repeat... I think if I kept going she wouldn't get in at all and I don't want her to cry it out

Do I just keep going with the chair for a bit or am I creating a new sleep association?

Btw after a few days starting this she's now having a nap because she's basically exhausted 😴

How about a giant teddy bear as a you replacement in the chair/her bed? When you take her back to bed, put teddy in the chair or bed to stay with her. If she wants you still, make it clear that it's you, or teddy. Keep repeating the same phrase eg. Teddy is here to cuddle you. Go to sleep now. . . "

Did things differently with both of my kids but both times the main issue seemed to be helping them to fall asleep by themselves and then knowing what to do when they woke in the night. If they always have you there then they will expect you there in the night and the rush of panic when you are not there will wake them more than necessary. So with my first he was ok at falling asleep both with me there and then by himself but he panicked in the night as he didn't know why he was awake, how long it was until morning etc etc. so we talked a lot of about what to do. A night light helped a lot. We sing a song at bedtime (twinkle star) and so I suggested he sing that when he woke up, had a drink, pulled the covers over himself and went back to sleep. A lot of talking about this and mentioning it at bedtime had him eventually doing it and settling himself.

Similar had to happen with my youngest but it was harder to get him to fall asleep by himself. Once this was cracked he mostly handled the night wake ups himself without having to be told of a routine.

I think for now just concentrate on initially getting her to fall asleep in her own bed.

If she wakes up after a few hours, let her come in with you so you can both get back to sleep. Gradually it will feel less strange to her, and she'll sleep longer in her own bed.

That's how it worked with all of mine, anyway. They went on getting in with me after, if they got up to pee during the night. Youngest (aged6) still comes in around 5am about half of the time.