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Help please

5 replies

Strawberrys4 · 02/04/2025 17:38

Hello, my daughter turned 2 on Monday and things have really taken a turn for the worse.

she was an ivf baby full term, good weight, healthy. I used a donor so I am a single mum but have a lot of support with my mum.

the last 2 years her sleep has been atrocious but it’s getting worse and worse as time is progressing. She fights sleep at every opportunity. It’s at least 2 hours to get her to nap and she fails to sleep before 12am near every night. This is followed by constant wakings either hourly or 2 hourly.

I have followed all the advice possible. She sleeps in a dark room, she has a routine, a night bath, calming magnesium soak, magnesium and lavender cream following her bath, I use lemon balm drops in her night milk and also magnesium as a supplement that I give at 4 pm. And lavender calm patches. White noise never helped but she has calming Melodie’s on before bed. I am finding it impossible to eradicate the screen time as she screams on an abnormally loud level that it’s the only thing to calm her… I had a sleep consultant and also took her to a pead dr to rule out medical causation. They prescribed me 2mg melatonin for her but still to no avail! The issue is she is so so distressed and will scream non stop, I can’t just walk away as she throws herself out of the cot or stops breathing and makes herself sick. It’s affecting my own mental health now immensely.

she is showing signs of autism and is on the pathway for diagnosis. And I know sleep is an issue with SEN but I’m reaching out if anyone has any idea what I can do or try? Health visitors are useless, the GP referred me to the peads but that apt didn’t come through for 6 months, by which time I saw a pead through a friend having a contact. There is an issue with her eating and she’s still quite reliant on milk but I try to give her oats, toast, cheese and melatonin releasing carbs before bed-even if she eats well there is still the proof getting her to sleep then keeping her asleep.

she doesn’t like coming into bed with me either so that’s not helped.

she is a very angry and distressed little girl and the potential autism aside I feek
if her sleep was sorted that she’d have more breakthroughs… is there anyone in a position to advise me please

OP posts:
Strawberrys4 · 02/04/2025 18:08

I forgot to
add that she’s having beyond terrible tantrums… she wakes up distressed…tantrums over everything I know terrible 2 but she wakes up like it… constant distress

OP posts:
Geneticsbunny · 02/04/2025 18:28

She might not need a nap any more, mine all dropped their naps at 2. Other than that, the screen time is the only thing you have mentioned which is an obvious issue but only if it is near bed time. We try to avoid it for an hour before bedtime.
Toddlers are really hard. But some of the things which help older kids with a disability/neurodivergence can also be useful with younger kids. I would read up about sensory diets and see if you can work out what she is over and under responsive to. Then you can help her to get the balance she needs. Give her lots of simple choices (for not important things l, just stuff like which colour cup or what flavour of juice) and big gaps for her to respond so she feels like she has control. Might be worth learning some simple makaton from watching something special on cebeebies if she is struggling with language. Now and next board might be useful if she is struggling with transitions.
You might find she really likes structure, so you can use that to help her learn about when screen time is ok and when it isn't.
It's hard. Toddlers are a nightmare but even worse if you are sleep deprived and they are disabled!

Strawberrys4 · 02/04/2025 18:58

Thank you very very much for your response. I will
look into sensory diet. It’s really really hard to grab her attention with anything I am really in a bad place with her and the help is really lacking out here… thank you I will take up your suggestions! ♥️

OP posts:
Geneticsbunny · 02/04/2025 19:01

The send board might be a good place to ask for help too

Strawberrys4 · 02/04/2025 19:32

Me thinking a sensory diet is about food…
thank you il check that out x I massively appreciate your response x

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