My 22 month old wont go to sleep

[Pavlovthecat]

Over the last couple of weeks my 22 moth old DD is not sleeping well.

Up until recently, she has slept for the most part well, going to bed at 8pm, with one nap in the day at about 2pm.

Now, her naps are screwed, and her evenings are even more screwed.

She wont nap at 2pm routinely, varying between 2-4pm. We have tried no naps but this is not just happening, she is not ready to lose her nap, I dont think anyway.

On and off over the last few couple of weeks she refuses to go to sleep at all until 11pm. Although she has had a few days of going to sleep at 8:30 - 9pm it seems to be getting later and later.

Last night she went to sleep at 11pm. Tonight, she is, hopefully almost asleep.

She screams the absolute place down, red faced, tears, struggling to breathe sometimes as she screams so hard, gets in a right state.

nothing is working. We have tried leaving her, cuddling but not talking, reading books, gentle nursery rhymes, getting her up (which yes we should not do).

We go through the same routine as we always have.

But it is just not working.

We are exhausted.

Help?

Wish I could help but need same help here too... my 2 yr old ds (25 months) is doing exactly the same thing.

Should we drop his nap? All the other children at nursery still sleep after lunch and he loves his, but does he no longer need it?

It also coincides with a new found obsession with bears, the Jungle Book, Finding Nemo and the Gruffalo - nothing else will do, and Milkshake is rejected each morning with chants of 'bear, mummy'. Is he now scared of the dark/monsters?

He's not very articulate so isn't saying that there's anything scaring/bothering him, just spends from 7 till 10pm trying to get out of cot, crying, shouting, pulling all toys in with him etc...

Experienced mumsnetters, help us!

cut her nap down until she sleeps at bedtime. I faffed around with my first not waking her, 2nd time round if it is after 2pm she gets half an hour max.

This may go on for a long time....

Betsy - similar to DD. She asks for Milk, Dolly, Cuddles, Mummy, Daddy, light on, light off, story, everything she can possibly think of to get our attention. She jumps up and down in her cot, she giggles, throws tantrums, cries, all very very loudly.

Her vocabulary in the last two weeks has just gone through the roof. She has started in the last week saying three word sentences and is holding 'conversations' now with us, with her bears, with books. It seems that her trouble sleeping has coincided with this sudden increased communication.

But, also her naps are all shot, so I just dont know whats going on, or how to help her.

She woke loads last night as well, and woke at 7am, which is earlier than normal too. Fell asleep at 12pm for the first time, so awake at 2pm should have been ok for 8pm bed. Now, she has been asleep 10 mins after DH sang twinkle little start to her 10times!

We are here together Betsty, lets see what help we can get from our MN wise ones!

Exactly the same as DS. Relax, ignore 'bedtime' and try gently to drop the nap - DS is now 25 1/2 months old and most days has no nap and is asleep by 6.30 - 7. Sometimes we cannot help him falling asleep, but fully expect an 11pm bedtime. IMO it's an awkward age - they do not understand (well, DS didn't) "ok sweetheart, it's bedtime now" etc. When he was younger he would go to sleep when left awake in his cot, but now it's only when he is tired. I just had to ride it out and go with the flow.

Cool - she only sleeps for like 45 mins these days anyway. Apart from today, she slept for 2 hours . And she spends the last two hours of the day before her normal bed time an absolutel whirlwind. She is a whirlwind anyway but moreso for these two hours. Its exahusting when it goes on until 11pm!

DH will not be happy at cutting her naps down, have tried to get him to do it, but perhaps with the MN brigade on his case he might pay attention!

Also it's so hard and feels awful to do but wake them if they nap too long (or eventually at all - DS only needs 10 minutes and his bedtime goes back 1-2 hours!) I hated it at first, but unless they really are desperate for sleep you just have to grin and bear it.

Lady - thanks for this.

The one time she did not sleep at all in the day she slept all through the night. But it worked because she was distracted and the missed nap was not deliberate! We went to a little boys 3rd birthday and she ran around with 4 boys aged 3-5 and a little girl aged 7 all day! She was not at all bothered by no nap, not grumpy at all, fell asleep by 7pm and slept soundly.

Any time we have tried to drop the nap since she has fought against it, and last week she missed a nap, was hell in the evening.

So maybe we will need to change her 'bedtime' if she has no naps, bring it forward to 7pm? Thats awkward because of mine and DHs shift patterns. But we can do it if we have to.

Just try a 20 min nap then maybe. It is hard dropping them, it's more you have to keeppon your toes so they don't sneak onto the sofa and conk out! Trying to keep them going before they start to wind down etc. As I said DS fell asleep about 10 mins today (crafty when I had a bath!) and he didn't go to bed until 8.30, but there isn't a whole lot you can do about it except be patient. Roll on age 3 + when they understand fully about bedtime!

Thanks Lady - just mentioned this to DH and he is in agreement, reluctantly but realises we have to do something.

I think we will reduce her naps and bring her bedtime forward.

I was hoping it was something else, as I quite like her naps when I am not working as I can tidy up! But recently they have been so random and short I have not been able to do much anyway.

Agree with LOW.

The whirlwind thing sounds a bit like over tiredness tbh.

tips : keep changing what is going on in the afternoon, inside outside etc.

Under no account go anywhere in the car/pushchair . Bedtime will need to be earlier. I think this went on for about a 9 months with my first. Dh used to come home at night and ask "Did she nap?" Oh how his face fell when the answer was yes.

I feel your pain btw. My second is now 21 months and exactly the same.

My friend has a nearly 3 yr ols who goes for a nap at 3pm for up to 2 hours and then goes to bed at 8pm.

OMG this has cheered me up so much. I too have a DH who refuses to countenance dropping nap (he looks after ds some of the time) and who also finds it impossible to wake him up so will let him sleep for 3 hrs if that should happen...

I will have to be strict. But oh, how we'll miss that blissful 1 - 2 hrs peace in the afternoon.

Sooo comforting to know it's what everyone else's are doing, and that we just have to go through it and keep grinning...

Yes definitely Whirlwind is tiredness. Funny, as she has always had a 'mad half hour' before bed. Ever since she was tiny, but its just getting longer.

We have tried to move her routine earlier to deal with this, but she has none of it.

So, we shall try to reduce her naps and bring her bed time forward. See how that goes .

I am not looking forward to it, as my work has become harder over last week, and we are selling/buying a place so a lot going on where I could do with her napping more than ever!!! .

And there is me, feeling broody for another one! Er, maybe not for a while!

Try and keep the same routine night in night out ( difficult with the summer coming). Bath, milk, bed, story, sleep. Allow her to take a couple of toys to bed. We used to fish out cars and all sorts. And make sure you wake her at normal time each morning. I never had any problem with my oldest.But if you've read my post on twins then its a nightmare. Have you got black out curtains. Have you tried putting her into a bed so she feels grown up and let her have her favourite characters on her covers. What time does she wake - this might sound daft but maybe 8 is too late and she has gone over tired. When our oldest was 2 he went to bed at 7 and woke at 7. We had a friend whose DD did this because she was going to bed late and was over tired. You also need to try and ignore any attempt at conversation and eye contact and reassure her that you are downstairs if she need you. One thing we used to do with DS no1 was let him have late nights occasionally and keep him up if we'd got friends round he'd just fall into bed then.

1 she sleeps til around 7:45am. We used to think 8pm was too late too, but its the time she would always fall asleep easily and with no trouble. I think until recently it was the right time, but we probably need to look at this again now.
In her own bed? Oh nooooooo, she would be out in the living room like a shot! We live in an apartment, she would be out of her room, or at least playing with her toys all night!!!!

We will hopefully be moving house in next few months, will probably move her into own bed to coincide with move.

She probably has too many toys in bed. I will weed some out. She has a black out curtain.

She is definitely overtired. Last night she really was.

DS1 went through this stage.

Afternoon nap - took him upstairs at 1.30pm, thus allowing for 30 mins of resistance. I went to bed as well, closed door and DS1 would climb into bed with me. Max 60 mins.

Good, calm, consistent bedtime routine (bath, books, lights out). We still start at 6.30pm. Once in bedroom , stay in bedroom. We always stayed in the room with DS1. No talking.

When DS1 dropped his nap, he dropped it every other day, then every 3 days etc. He still naps if he's ill or had consecutive days of nursery or outdoor play.

Now DS2........... arrrrrrrrrrgh

funnily enough I am having the same trouble with DS who has just turned 2. He was getting to lie in bed with me last week when he was ill and now he is better, he refuses to go to bed without a fight. I feel guilty as I think I have confused him and its hard listening to him screaming for 2 hours. He is napping now but only going to give him an hour and see if this helps. When do they stop having an afternoon nap o wise mumsnetters?

my ds stopped naps at a yr by his own choice just would not nap but went to bed real early and slept all night

had to get sleep therapist out as ds would not sleep

she recommended no naps later than 1 then normal bedtime routine can continue if napping later bedtime needs to be few hours later than normal depending if napped for half hour should be ok any longer bed needs to be later

no running around before bed hour of gentle play and story in bed then sleep she said for his age to aim to have a sleep for 7.15-7.30

and if need to sit on floor with back to them when in bed for security ignore any conversation justssshhh go to sleep

then when nearly asleep atempt to leave room so settling themselves off without falling asleep with you there

may need to do this for up to a week keep same routine wind down time and things do settle

good luck its hard work ds is 3 and only just got him going 4 out of 7 nights in own bed other nights he'll be on ready bed on my floor not in bed with me so he gets used to not sleeping in with me but near me for security also recommended by sleep therapist

pavlov if dd doesnt have her naps any way of doing all routines earlier and getting her to bed early

my ds used to have dinner at 4-5 wind down time and in bed for 6-7 slept lovely as didnt get too over tired even now at 3 he will go to bed as early as 5.30 by choice as so tired and sleeps through