Help! Night weaning 12 month old!

[LilsMummyJ]

Sorry in advance for the long post!

My 12 month old is breastfed and will not resettle during the night without nursing.
Backstory - she co-slept with us in our room until about a month ago when we moved her into her own bedroom on a single floor bed but I'm still sleeping in with her for now. I've tried to sleep on a mattress in her room away from her to work towards her sleeping independently but we haven't managed a full night because, when she wakes during the night, she won't resettle without nursing and then me lying with her, so I usually end up sleeping in with her as I get too tired to stay awake while waiting on her sleeping.

This week I have been putting her to sleep at bedtime and just sitting beside her rather than lying with her and she is falling asleep easily. She has never breastfed to sleep for naps or bedtime and my partner can put her to bed at night with no problems.

However, she consistently wakes anytime between 10pm and 1am and she will cry and cry until I feed her and then I have to lie with her or hold her until she falls back asleep. I've tried resettling her without nursing and she just cries. My partner has tried and she just cries and shouts for me. We have tried a cup of milk but she won't accept that even though she does during the day.

The issue is, I have a few events coming up where I won't be home until late/early in the morning. I am really worried about how she is going to cope without me at night.

Does anyone have any advice or tips to help?

I think she will be cross at the change because she is used to feeding back to sleep but if you and your partner can decide on the best time to do it you might just have to agree the plan and go for it. For me I just left partner with baby for the night and slept elsewhere, baby was cross but slept eventually and that was them nightweaned. Or if you'd rather be there to offer comfort, lots of cuddles etc but just no boob keep repeating 'no boob (or whatever you call it) sleepy time' it will work it might take a few nights

DH cuddling DS instead of me. DS was cross, but he was safe and not hungry. You just need to persist, hard as it seems at the time.

My recommendation is for Ferber’s night weaning method. It’s done a gradual way.

If you look up habit stacking by Lyndsey Hookway that might help you. Essentially you add in something like rubbing their back, singing etc during breastfeeding to sleep. And continue with that for a while then over time it becomes an association with sleep and you can use that new habit alone to help them go back to sleep.

Another thing that works for some babies is slowly reducing the length of feeds over time until you phase them out completely. Not all babies will take well to this but some really do.

I wouldn't try to persevere with giving milk in a cup overnight, feeding back to sleep at this age is not likely to be about the need to eat.