2yr old - 'Mummy cuddles' - Weaned off breast

[wishIwasonaBeach]

Hi all.

By hook and by crook I (we) managed to get my 2 year old (2.5 next month) out of our bed and off the boob. Up until then she had co-slept with us and was still waking every few hours to feed/comfort herself.

I reached breaking point in January and we went cold turkey and tbh - 4/5 nights of hell but she has adapted pretty well. She still has some milk at bedtime but that's in.

To ease her into the process initially I'd sleep with her but as the weeks have gone on I'm there when she falls asleep but dart out as soon as I can.

However, she wakes in the night and cries out for me - she always says she wants a cuddle and then to be honest - as she has a double floor bed I usually just drop off myself but I'd like her to get through more of the night herself and not need me for comfort.

I don't want to leave her to cry - not my style and we have always been responsive and I suppose I'm optimistically thinking she may just grow out of it?

After all, she's had 2 years of co-sleeping and boob and we're only 8 ish weeks into this new set up.

What do we thnk? Any tips? TIA

Buy her a big new cuddly toy and suggest to her when she wakes up she tries cuddling her new toy and snuggling down in bed and trying to go to sleep.

I'd definitely stop falling asleep in there first. Then do a gradual retreat, so slowly go in there for less and less time, a bit like the 'pat, pat, shh' thing with babies. Make sure she has a plug in tiny nightlight, maybe try a grow-clock so you can say 'it's not morning yet, wait for the sun', hug and leave.

I think you need to be trying to wean her off needing you there when she falls asleep in the first place. Then she won't be as distressed when she wakes up and you're not there. We used to stay in the room until DS1 fell asleep, but eventually we realised he was trying (maybe not consciously) to stay awake so we wouldn't leave. It was hard at first, but eventually got a LOT better when he accepted the new regime of us leaving the room once the bedtime routine was finished. And this also made it easier to just do a shortened version of the bedtime routine and then leave again if he woke in the night.

Hi all - thanks for your replies.

Yeah - I think you're right. I do need her to rely on me less. I think the gradual retreat would probaby work best for us.

It's not so much when I initally put her to bed - I've sat on the bed before and she dropped off fine - it's the middle of the night I need to crack more and I'm lazy 😂I know if I just get in there and give her a cuddle we'll both go back to sleep until the morning

It might be though that she's happily falling asleep thinking 'it's okay because Mummy's there', and then when she wakes in the night you're not there any more and that's distressing. Whereas if you consistently leave the room at bedtime, it could potentially help with not worrying that you're also not there when/if she wakes. And she'll know that it's possible to go back to sleep without you there.