When to intervene at night when baby cries, at 10 weeks

[legogirl1234]

My LO is 10 weeks old and she typically wakes twice at night, once around 12/1ish and once around 5/6ish.

When she wakes, she cries in her crib (she’s in a next to me) and as soon as we hear this, we pick her up, change her and feed her.

The problem is, when we pick her up to change her, she absolutely loses her mind (the same cry as when I wake her up mid-sleep).

Im wondering if we shouldn’t be picking her up when she first cries, but instead waiting for 2/5 minutes to see if she goes back to sleep?
My natural instinct (because she’s a breastfeed and therefore fed on demand) is that when she wakes with any type of crying, it means I need to feed her.

Any advice? Should we be picking her up as soon as she cries, even if small cries Vs losing her mind cries? Should we be waiting and seeing? Will she/should she typically be ‘self-soothing’ herself back to sleep at this age?

NB: she is sucking her hands in the day, but at night we have a Love2Dream swaddle, so her hands are covered. We are moving to a transition back in the next few night where her arms will be it - not sure if this will make a difference?

I also have a 10 week old, currently awake as he gets up about 12 and 4. He's fine being fed but the nappy change causes ructions. The nappy change REALLY disrupts him if I get him straight away or wait a bit. The crying always increases. Ive tries changing him before a feed and after a feed and both result in the same crying even if he's settled and fed. I recently read that babies don't need their nappy changed every feed during the night unless their nappy is full.... but I don't feel comfortable doing that, you could maybe try this though? Sorry for not actually being much help.

Are you changing her because she has done a poo? If no poo then just pick up and feed. She probably goes ballistic because she wants feeding straight away. At 10 weeks, I wouldn't be waiting and seeing, I'd just feed.

As per others, unless she has poo’d you don’t need to change her every time. I’d pick up and feed. Then after she’s fed off one boob, change if needed, then feed off the other to settle her down again. I wouldn’t leave a 10 week old to cry and ‘self settle’ personally.

Agree with PP to only change a poo at night. She may be cross because she wants feeding immediately - you could feed from one side, change nappy if needed, feed from other side to sleep.. burping along the way

All my children were sleeping through the night by 10 weeks.
at night:-— no eye contact

• low lighting as possible
• dont talk to baby/ play
• settle them quickly without engaging with them - eg feed, change nappy then back down. (Opposite in daytime- talk play etc so they can work out difference between night and day)
• dont make the wait too long for feed/ change as they wake themselves up(!) (if bottle prep as much as possible)
• sometimes they stay awake after feed/ change but don’t look at them . Pretend to sleep
• have cot bed attached to bed some times they just want to be near you (my daughter would fall asleep if if I put my finger on her hand.)

this worked for every child .

There’s no need to change a nappy at night unless it’s full full or a poo- modern nappies (even cloth ones) are so great at absorbing everything and keeping babies dry even when a nappy is on the fuller side of things- personally I’d just feed her and as long as she settles back to sleep would leave her nappy alone. It’s far easier for them and you to settle back to sleep without having the lights/cold etc of a nappy change that doesn’t need to happen.

also. She’s 10 weeks old; she’ll cry and that’s ok- tend to her needs as you see best, you’re her parent and you know best- trust your instincts (even if you feel you have none- you do and they’re usually right for your child!!)

I forgot to add dc2 (of 4) was the only one that cried alot and was the only one without a soother

At 10 weeks old, I’d respond straight away and pick her up/feed her. Though I don’t really buy into the self-soothing thing and would still go straight to my 4 and 2yo if they cried!

I tried to do something along the lines of what @4andnotcounting advises with my eldest, as it was what the books advised. It sounds like it was amazing for her, but it didn’t work at all for us! I don’t think there is any guaranteed way to get a baby to sleep through the night, so just go with your instinct and what works for you. I really beat myself up that I was “failing” but we all had a much nicer time (and more sleep) when I decided to go with the flow.

We did the above with both of ours and they slept well from early on too. Neither had a dummy or were swaddled.

Yes about the not needing to change every feed.

I change before feeds with low light

don’t change unless it’s a poo and make sure you are sizing up
ie don’t stay in size 1 because it says up to 5kg and she’s 4.8… get size 2

also sometimes we just had a cuddle and settle before a change.

dummy’s also work wonders.

Gently, shes 10 weeks old, I don’t think she’s at all ready to self settle and leaving her to cry for 2-5 minutes seems a bit cruel. If she’s crying as opposed to just fussing in her sleep I’d definitely be picking her up and feeding her.