Night away from breastfed, bed sharing 9mo!

[leopard23]

Can anyone share any wisdom or advice about spending nights away from their breastfed, bed sharing baby? I’m due to go away for two nights for a hen do (I’m maid of honour!) in two weeks time. 9mo DD is breastfed and we bed share. My partner (her other parent!) sleeps in another room due to insomnia, but is happy to bed share with her while I’m away. DD has taken well to eating and will take a bottle of expressed milk or formula, so I’m not worried about her going hungry (slightly worried about my boobs though!). Problem is she won’t settle for my partner - not for naps, not for bedtime and not for night wakes. When we booked this trip I was really excited but as it gets closer I’m just dreading it. What can I do to prepare her for this time away?

My advice would be to not expect husband to put her to bed like you do. With my breastfed babies if I went on a night out my husband would often get them to fall asleep downstairs so they didn’t have the same association of going up to bed with mum and it being different. He would put football on tv and just let them play until exhausted. Can he do pram/car naps? I even do car bedtime for my younger daughter if we have guests or are staying at someone else house as she won’t sleep no matter how tired she is, sometimes needs must.

@leopard23can you take her with you? Could your partner have her during the day and just bring her to you at night? I’d be tempted to do that.

Otherwise, your partner will just have to find their way. I also breastfed and bed shared. If I had a night out my partner would just rock our baby until he was asleep and sit up with him on his shoulder. Hard to do for 2 nights but they will have to do their thing which may be very different from what the two of you do. But you may find she settles more easily for your partner when you’re not there. And this may lead to a more equal share when you get back.

Hope you have a great time.

@Janefx40thank you! It’s abroad and a short trip so taking her with us isn’t really an option (financially or practically!). I know she’ll sleep for my partner in the carrier so it might be that they just have to do that at night too!

Over the next few weeks, for a couple of nights a week don’t do bed time or bed share and have your partner deal with her for the first half of the night so she gets used to him.

Both mine were / are breastfed and we bed shared, and they settle fine with dad when they know I’m not there. If they know I’m there, they go crazy.

have your partner join you in bed for a few nights in the run up to it

Following as will need to do the same!

Just wanted to update this thread to say that everyone survived! My partner got her to sleep in the carrier and transferred her to bed. She woke up more than usual in the night but wasn’t overly upset, she just needed rocking. She took a bottle of expressed milk until it ran out, then switched to formula (that was always the plan!) and ate lots more food than she usually would. I’m so glad I went! My boobs were like bags of stones the whole time I was away despite pumping but I really needed that time to myself so I’m glad I went!