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Nearly 6 month old - hourly wakes and breastfeeding - desperate for help!

3 replies

Luna20 · 13/03/2025 10:39

So this is my second EBF baby, you'd think I would know what I was doing by now 😂. But my boy is almost 6 months and since the age of 2 months he hasn't been able to sleep longer than an hour at a time. And I'm not exaggerating. Every nap and during the night, he wakes after 40-60 minutes and has down this for nearly 4 months now. He is quite good at going down in his crib drowsy and then settling himself to sleep, not always but quite often. Then during the night my husband deals with the first wake up. He can often be rocked back to sleep or sometimes just a shh and bum tap, this only works for husband it doesn't work when I do it, I guess it's because he knows I've got the boobies! Sometimes that doesn't work for husband either and baby screams bloody murder until I come along. Then after that (from about 8 or 9pm onwards) I co sleep with baby and he wakes every hour or less and suckles back to sleep. It's been almost 4 months of this now. I have a toddler too (who is also going through a phase of waking in the night which is why I don't let husband do any more wake ups with baby because he ends up being up with the toddler) and I just feel like I cannot cope with this terrible sleep any longer. My body feels exhausted, I ache all the time, have a constant headache, I'm irritable and snappy, I'm eating like crap and putting on weight, and if I'm honest I'm probably a bit depressed. Everyone tells me to put him on a bottle but I don't see how that will help when he wakes looking for comfort every hour. He has started taking breast milk from a bottle but will only drink about 2 to 3oz at a time which I thought doesn't seem like much. I keep trying him with a dummy and he pulls a mega disgusted face every time. I will persevere with keeping trying though. He definitely has a strong suckling need and I just can't cope with being his dummy any more. My first born was very similar and always wanted to boob to sleep but he was sleeping 3 hours plus stretches by this age. Has anyone been in a similar situation and did you manage to find anything that helped? I understand it's totally normal and a comfort for him and I don't want to take it away from him but at the same time, I physically and mentally can't cope with the hourly wake ups anymore. I just want him to do longer stretches, I'm not expecting him to sleep through or anything. When I tell family members I think they think I'm exaggerating and don't really understand that I truly haven't slept for longer than 1 hour at a time in almost 4 months and what that can do to a person!

OP posts:
sidsparrownew · 13/03/2025 13:12

Well, first of all - this isn't forever. He's 6 months so time to bring in the solids. If he's ready you could give him some baby rice before bed. And time to introduce him to the sippy cup. At 6 months I bf and also gave some formula in the sippy cup to start the long transition off the boob. I did ebf and co-slept, but when my baby woke for a feed, I just gave her the boob and went back to sleep. I have small boobs so she was never going to suffocate 😂 What happens if you don't offer? It does sound like a comfort thing to be honest, but hopefully moving onto solids and introducing a bit of formula will keep baby asleep for longer. But remember, it's not forever!!

wordywitch · 13/03/2025 13:16

Do you remain lying down when he wakes to feed in the night, or are you sitting upright to feed him? As he's 6 months I presume he is rolling over and sitting up now? So not as much of a worry about smothering while co-sleeping. I'd wear a long sleeve shirt that unbuttons at the front and just let him help himself to the boobie bar and try not to let it wake you too much. Easier said than done, I know. It's hard to feel so tired all the time, you have my empathy.

Burntt · 13/03/2025 15:03

My dd who was like this turned out to be gluten intolerant. I didn't work it out until she's been on solids a while. Wish I'd been taken seriously by HV or GP instead of just told it's a normal phase! So I'd consider your diet and after a particularly bad night considering what you ate/after a better night see if you didn't have something etc.

I got by co sleeping and I stopped putting my boob away between feeds. She just latched back on when she woke and I was disturbed but was asleep again before she finished feeding (because she never bloody stopped!)

As you have a partner I'd be going to bed same time as the toddler 6.30/7pm with a final baby feed letting partner do baby either with an expressed bottle or bring baby in to you and back out at 9.30/10pm. Partner settle baby in cot at this point (important if you want baby out your bed at some point in the future!!) and then when baby next wakes bring in with you and cosleep with your boob out all night.

Then at the weekend give partner one full night off and as long a sleep in as they want- up to lunch time if needed. On the other weekend day you get the sleep in on the same terms as much as possible while bf.

Try batch cooking at the weekend for the coming week and freeze. Get the cleaning done at the weekend literally let it build up in the week just deal with kitchen dishes. Let everything non essential drop. If friends and family offer help take them up on it! Offload active toddler for a bit or ask them to clean the bathroom etc

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