2 1/2 old refusing to go to bed!

[Enchanted]

My ds 2.5 has always gone to bed at 8pm and on the odd occasion woke in the night but was easily settled with a dummy or a drink. We moved house in September and the first thing was he started climbing out of the cot, we took the sides off and it was fine. He did start to wake up more in the night and wanted one of us to go into the spare room with him but he still went to bed.
It's been a few weeks now and he just gets straight out of bed crying 'me no want to'. He can open the bedroom door but there is a gate and he just stands by it calling. The calling turns to yelling then to huge big sobs and it's absolutely excruciating. Our instinct was to let him cry but the other night it was up to 2 and a half hours and we could stand it no longer.
I went to see the HV today and she advised taking the gate off so he has nothing to head for and just keep taking him back to bed. She said this could take a week to crack and maybe upto 50 times a night. I am going to try this on new years night (no point tonight as all his cousins are staying tomorrow night, it'll be bedlem) but has anyone got any ohter suggestions that might help we are dying for a break.

Had this problem for a while with my dd2 at a similar age,also at a time when there were many changes in our routine/visitors etc. Think your hv is probably right. I've put her back many, many, many times a night (both at bedtime and during the night), whilst TRYING to stay calm (she'd get worse the more wound up I got)!
Things have improved greatly though, simply, I think, by being very firm with her routine and actual bed time. Also being firm with her nap after lunch. It seems that the less she sleeps after lunch the worse night we have. It's like when she dosn't have a nap she's so dog tired she crashes out quickly, then if she wakes later she panicks and can't settle herself again. HTH
Persevere though, if there have been lots of things going on lately, he's probably reacting to that. Good Luck.

Enchanted

Agree with Batey that it is probably the change of routine and having the sides of the cot off.
Does he still have daytime naps and is he at the stage of wanting to give them up. I know that things went a bit haywire for us when we reached that stage.

When we first put ds1 in a bed (he was under 2) he would sometimes get out and come into our room, but we just lifted him into bed with us. After a week or three, he suddenly said no, got back out of our bed and went back to his. This was not terribly disruptive for us and solved the problem fairly quickly.

KKGirl,
He's not wanting to go for his after lunch nap at the moment either, pity because he is like a lunatic by 5pm.
A friend suggested that I take the door handle off and turn it the other way around so he can't get the door open. Another friend commented that this may cause him to panic and make matters worse. What do you all think of this? Is it actually cruel as he may feel he's been locked in??? Help.

enchanted,

I wouldn't lock him up as it could cause other problems you don't need. I have a similarly aged one to yours who resists sleep (daytime and night) and wakes up wanting to join us. I have allowed him to come in with me because I don't want to lock him in or have him wailing for hours. It also gives me more sleep because he goes straight back to sleep until proper morning. It doesn't happen all the time but I don't have the resolve to keep putting him back and things are improving.

Also, he got much better when he got his own bed with tweenies/bob the builder bedding etc. Good luck, it is wearing and I sympathise fully.

Enchanted

I don't really see the point of taking the door handle off because presumably if he is standing by the stairgate calling you he will stand behind the door doing the same and you will both end us as distressed as you are now.
It sounds to me that he is ready to give up daytime nap and is getting overtired and what with the changes in routine etc it has put him out. You can try what HV has suggested and I'm sorry but it does sound like hell for you to have to keep taking him back to bed. If you stay with him until he goes to sleep does it help settle him at all.
I know I'm not much help here, mine are 6 and 9 so I can't really remember too much about the terrible two's.

Don't want to hijack your thread but I am close to the end of my tether with dd

She is 21 months. I have always put her down in her cot around 7pm, and she wakes in the night and comes into my bed. At a year old I finally managed to get her to go to sleep by herself (before then I was feeding/rocking her to sleep). At 18months she gave up her daytime nap (as did ds at the same age). Since learning to get herself to sleep at a year, her sleeping has improved dramatically although she wakes (without fail) at least once. I think I have had about 6 undisturbed nights since she was born.

It has all gone very much down hill since she was ill about 6 weeks ago. Suddenly she won't go to sleep without lots of fuss - I usually end up cuddling and putting her down asleep just for the sake of a little break in the evenings. But once she's asleep, she is waking and not going back to sleep again. Some nights I have been up with her for up to 4 hours while she complains and whinges - nothing obviously wrong, but just unable to get to sleep. I can't cope with this anymore, I just don't know what to do with her. I have a ds, so I have to be up at a reasonable hour in the morning, and I am just exhausted.

I have "the no cry sleep solution" and we are trying to implement some of the ideas, but finding it difficult with another child. I intend to take her back to a cranial osteopath as this made a difference to her in the past, but I need some help. Please - any suggestions will be very gratefully recieved. This really is getting me down - it's beginning to affect everything and I just can't cope any more.