6 month old will not sleep in for

[orzo15]

My son has always been a rubbish sleeper but since 3.5 months he has been awful. He would do maybe 2-4 hour stretch in the beginning of the night and then wake hourly. Since 5 months he won't do that, he wakes up every 30-60 mins in his cot. I then cosleep with him because he wakes up less and I'm desperate for sleep but I would much prefer him in his own cot.

Any advice? He is fed to sleep and any other method at settling him results in a huge kick off! I'm a single parent so no one to share the load with

Sleep train. The earlier the better. Trying to sleep train a 7-8 months old is much much harder. They get smarter, have more energy to cry for longer but also have ways to hurt themselves.

I know the thought of letting them cry is awful but think what terrible sleep your baby is getting now.

We sleep trained just before 5 months. Tried gentle methods but they just stimulated him more. Leaving him to it worked best. He got it within 2 days and then we trained for naps too which he got right away (to my absolute amazement as until then he'd only nap if I fed him to sleep or rocked him for 30+ minutes).

That being said, mine only cried for 25 minutes so I'm not advocating for hours of crying. Set a realistic time limit. If it doesn't work and they're inconsolable for long stretches then go back to whatever else works. But for your sanity, you have to try.

@FirstTimeMum881 I agree, and it’s nice to see someone advocating for sleep training and not making it out to be evil!

Spend some time looking at different methods. All will involve crying but if you’re doing it right then baby shouldn’t be distressed.
Possibly even a sleep consultant if you can afford it? Most of the info is already online for you to read for free, the consultant is there for more of a hand-hold really and to give any additional tips/advice.

Thank you both. I tried a little with pick up put down a couple nights ago and had success in the sense he settled in his cot without any crying, just a little protesting while i rubbed his back. But he still woke every hour until midnight when i brought him into bed with me!

@orzo15 keep going with it, one night and then stopping is not enough. I’d even say forget the picking up and just do some gentle pats & shushing (every few mins, not consistently throughout the whole wake period). Have you read much about the Ferber method? You don’t need to follow the rules concretely, you can adapt it to what you feel comfortable with, but it’s worth reading up on.
What is his sleep set up like? Swaddle or blanket? White noise? Dummy? Although at 5 months it might be a bit late to introduce any of that if you haven’t already.

Make sure to get him on a good nap routine.

I think huckleberry and little ones are the most widely used

Thank you, he is on a good nap routine, on 3 naps a day. 2 of them contact naps and one in the pram. He sleeps in a sleeping bag, he likes to sleep with his arms up. He has white noise but will only take dummy in the pram he wont take it at night.

He's got a tooth coming through at the moment so think that is not helping things but he did do a couple of stretches in the cot last night which was big progress for us, but would not go back down at 2.30 so came into bed with me

Agree with sleep training - controlled crying method would be my choice (i think pick up put down is confusing)

Agree if you do it earlier it takes less time and less crying

BUT I would wait till the tooth is through

Sleep regression at this age is common in babies. If it’s only sleep regression and the baby is otherwise fine I suggest trying "baby sleep gripe water". This will help regulating sleep hours and sleep quality. Besides sleep issues this tea also improves digestive system including colic, constipation, and reflux.

We were in the same boat with my 6 month old and I was going insane. We ferbered and after three nights of sleep training now have a new life and full nights. Please try it! The first night id the hardest but then it gets better bery quickly.

https://www.sleepfoundation.org/baby-sleep/ferber-method

We’ve a 7 month old and we’re 3 weeks into sleep training. It’s been really hard, really really hard, but worth it. Our baby sounds very similar, age and sleep habits and even with teething. We now manage to settle without crying or any physical soothing needed often, not always - but getting there. Sleeps for 10-12 hours in own bed in own room. We used a sleep consultant who wrote us a detailed plan and included text support for 4 weeks. The method looks very similar to the Lucy Wolfe baby sleep solution. It’s a gentle method, but despite that there has been a lot of crying. We’ve often been on the verge of giving up but glad we didn’t. It is easier as there are two of us to cope with the hard times so if there’s anyone who could stay over to help I’d try arrange that. Also good that baby learns to settle with other people. The naps are getting better but still need some work.
in short, sleep training has been incredibly hard but incredibly worth it.

thank you @Username43214321 unfortunately there is no one who can stay over here, i do not live in the UK anymore so not near family. I am going back at Easter to stay with family so think i will just muddle through until then. Its too difficult to try and sleep train on my own when hes just expecting to be fed to sleep and resettled that way each time. Can you describe the method you used a little more?

Sorry to hear you don't have any help. It's worth it but I found it very tough, although for some it does go better, it's really difficult to know. What kept me going was how often I had read to keep going and stay consistent, as inconsistency is often mentioned as a reason it might not work/progress. I read a lot of threads where it worked very quickly, unfortunately that was not us, but we're defo getting there.
I did just reread your post and one thing I did do before the training was break the feed to sleep habit. I started by when feeding to sleep and patting the bottom to link this as a sleep crutch. And then I got into the habit of feeding after a nap, and not before. So although I would feed during the night and this would be a feed to sleep, any other settle I would rock, sing, pat. This is the stage we were at when we started. But on putting down in cot we would find a 2-3 hour stint really good, and then co-sleep the rest of the night. More often it was waking every 30-45 minutes. Naps were always on the lap or walking. Cot was in our bedroom.
We started the method in the nursery - the first couple of nights is basically put the baby in the cot awake, after a bedtime routine and not let her fall asleep on you. We could do as much consoling as we wanted and if we had to, we could pick up baby, but as soon as she was calm put her back down. sing, pat, kiss stroke all allowed, just has to fall asleep in cot. The first night not too bad, night 2-3 very hard but then we saw big improvements. the rest of the method is just gradually reducing how much touching singing etc you do. so a gradual teaching of falling asleep without needing lots of help. It was tough because it does involve crying, but you don't leave them alone.
Not sure if a gentle cry it out is worse or not. But she would cry in arms, rocking in pram etc, so I think maybe just a process she needed to overcome. We now manage at least 10 hours of sleep, and naps are in the cot too, although these we still have to work on.
If you're going home at easter, could you work on breaking the feed to sleep habit and then try some method of sleep training then? I think the method we're using is a common one, but having a sleep consultant talk us through it, write a plan and provide us with text support did help give us the confidence to start and the will to see it through. We used child sleep solutions if you're interested.

@Username43214321 thank you so much for that detail. I will definitely try it at Easter I think. We've had a tiny bit of success the last couple of nights where if he has woken only an hour after being put down I have settled him back to sleep without feeding, which would not have worked previously. The consistency is the hardest, because if I've had a tough night I find I jusr want to take the path of least resistance, so having some support at Easter would be helpful.
All our naps are also contact naps, sometimes the pram. But that's a whole other beast to tackle!

I'm not sure waiting to sleep train when you are away in a new environment is advisable, OP. Baby needs a routine, consistency. Letting him cry in an unfamiliar room will be more distressing for him and the routine you establish there will be broken when you fly back.

And will your family really be willing to sit there and listen to their grandchild crying for an hour and through the night? Or will they criticise you and try to intervene? Additionally, your baby will be a bit off because they are in an unfamiliar place with new people which will throw him off even more.

Whatever you do, consistency is key. It's not fair on the baby otherwise. If you respond to his cries sometimes but not others, cosleep at home but let him cry somewhere else etc. I'm afraid you may be setting yourself up for failure there.

@FirstTimeMum881 I'm not going to let him cry, I don't want to do that kind of sleep training. I meant with more support I could break the feeding to sleep pattern and try to soothe him in other ways if I have some help around me.

@orzo15 got it, but any kind of sleep training requires routine and consistency to work. Gentle "no crying" (if there is such a thing) methods take a while to work as well, at least a few weeks.

I'm just trying to help as I completely sympathise with how sleep deprived you are.

Oh I know thank you. It's a bit of a catch 22 because I know going back for a couple of weeks will be disruptive, but I feel like I need that extra support to make any kind of changes

I think the consistency and being away are good points, however if having support helps you be more consistent in a training and how you react to your baby then maybe that overrides being in another environment for a bit? So many times I nearly gave in and that’s not consistent either. I guess you have to do what you can with what you have. Also sleeping elsewhere will be something baby has to learn if you ever want to go away! Have you got a nursery at home yet? I did play with our baby there a lot before we started so she was familiar with bed and room.
one thing I kept reading and kept in mind was that after a change nights 2-3 would be the hardest.

Agree with controlled crying. I’m not sure why it gets all the hate? I was outside and knew she was full, clean and ready to sleep. It’s not like you’re letting them cry for hours on end. It works! She’s slept through since being 6 months old bar the odd night when she is teething or poorly.

I think if it works for people then that's great and I totally get it. I just don't have it in me to listen to him cry, and he gets very worked up from crying and gets hysterical and starts coughing etc. so for my baby I know it's not an approach that makes sense and I'd rather try a lot more gentle ways even if it takes longer