Co-sleeping questions! (aka: my body feels broken 😆)

[greenorangeo]

At what age can I stop the cuddle curl?

Specifically, when can I move my lower arm from being stretched out across the top of the baby’s head?

And, when can I perhaps move my hips to be lying more on my back or more to my front? My lower back is in pieces!

Is it right that if we side-car a cot (flush mattresses) then I wouldn’t need to do the C curl any more?

Yea this is correct as they would technically be then in their own separate sleep space (basically just a bigger version of a next 2 me bassinet).

I co sleep with my 12mo. How old is your baby?

I still do cuddle curl initially when she wakes, as am feeding so need to be on my side anyway, but she now tends to move herself away from me once she's asleep, since about 9 months. Since then I also allow myself to roll onto my back once she's asleep.

It really helps me to use a long pregnancy pillow behind my back when side lying. I lean against it and can actually relax and let it support me, instead of my own body remaining slightly tense to keep me on my side.

Once my DD was 6 months we side carred the big cot, which has been amazing. I think cuddle curl is still necessary for a young baby tbh, if they're right next to you, the risk is still there for either your body or your covers going onto baby. If they're over in their own space well away from you it would be fine not to. I lie in the cot part feeding her to sleep then when I go to bed I am on my own mattress. When she wakes in the night, I pull her over to join me.

We used a sidecar with flush mattress (it was a wooden one which felt like an extra wing on the bed), and so if baby was in there, I slept in any position. I couldn't lie on baby because I'd smash into the wood. I guess my head could if I got into a very specific diagonal angle and I'd kicked my husband out (or my legs wouldn't fit), but as that was vanishingly unlikely we didn't worry about it. When young I used a wearable sleeping bag (with a matching one for baby 😂) so no risk from duvet etc.

With my first, she slept on my arm, in the crook of my shoulder in the actual bed. Frankly, against rules again, but I couldn't roll over on to her. 9 months of severe SPD meant (1) my body learned to never roll in bed - I rarely do still 8 years later (2) the remaining SPD meant that it hurt to roll and took effort so it hurt too much to do in my sleep. I was so immobile when sleeping you could balance a drink on me and it would still be full by morning!

Thanks so much all. He is coming up to five months old but he is a good weight. I actually fractured my arm when he was a couple of weeks old and not only is it not healing at all, but it’s just so sore. I can’t imagine being in this position for much longer. Then add that to the lower back pain, sometimes when I want to move in bed it takes me a while to even attempt to do so because I’m so stiff, achey and in pain.

My baby wakes to feed every 2 hours or so but I’m actually waking up more than that because I’m so uncomfortable

That’s great to hear I can sleep more normally with a side car. I don’t have to wait until he’s six months to do that, do I…?!

I am hoping that he will transition to a side car well… currently I am typing with him curled up next to the boob! He has never liked going in the Moses / Snuzpod to sleep…. (The Snuzpod isn’t flush which has been frustrating!)

I would recommend taking a look at HappyCosleeper and CoSleepy on Instagram. They both have information that could be useful

I find I’m way more comfortable with a very firm yoga bolster supporting my back

Try recycled foam my wife used something called 9lbs reconstituted foam because it was very firm as a mattress topper helped her a lot.

So… we bought and set up a side car but it’s been a bit pointless really… because I lie DS in there but he just scooches over until he’s touching me again!! Which means he’s lying on the join which isn’t great, plus it’s not comfortable for me.

So, we are still co-sleeping on the main mattress, and not only is my back and arm pain continuing, but my décolletage is WRECKED! Seven months of sleeping on my side (plus in latter months of pregnancy) and I have deep crepey criss cross wrinkles that photograph shockingly and I presume are here to stay!