2 month old Hand sucking - help!

[Sunandstars28]

My 11 week old has in the last couple of weeks discovered her hands and is endlessly sucking on them, I assume for comfort. I EBF and am offer plenty of feeds so it is not hunger cues. We swaddled her in Tommee Tippee grobags but she started busting out of them in an effort to suck her hands. She hates swaddle up bags. So we are now transitioning out of the swaddle but she will not sleep so long as she can get at her hands. The only way we’ve managed any sleep overnight is cosleeping and I have to pin her hands down until she’s in a deep enough sleep. Even then she’s awake every 2 hours. I’m looking for advice on how to resolve the issue? She spits out a dummy and is obviously too young to try and sleep train. Thanks in advance.

I really don’t see the issue here?

Just let her suck her hands it's normal don't worry

I'm confused. Why don't you want baby to suck her hands?

She literally will not sleep whilst sucking her hands and gets upset and overtired. That is the issue.

Ah sorry that wasn’t clear from first post. Have you tried mitts?

Mitts don’t help at all

Have you offered a dummy?

Ok sorry for the suggestion!!

I think the hand sucking is a red herring OP with regards to the sleep. Everything you're describing is developmentally normal at that age: constant hand sucking, difficulty falling asleep and ending up overtired, waking 2hrly overnight etc. Just continue to breastfeed on demand and sooth your baby to sleep as best you can, they change all the time. My third child is 3 months old and they're almost always either breastfed or rocked to sleep.

Totally normal- if she wasn't hand sucking she'd likely be crying instead and still not wanting to sleep. Of course she's too old for mittens etc and swaddles that restrict hand access. She needs access to her hands. She'll grow out of it in a matter of days or weeks anyway.

Developmentally she sounds very normal and just continue to BF on demand and be led by your very tiny baby. That's just what life is like with an 11 week old.

If you leave her will she eventually fall asleep?
My baby is 4 months and sucks his hands until he falls asleep just for comfort but as a positive self soothing.
He also started around 2 months when he was in the midst of colic and wouldn't settle.
Its actually been a lifesaver that he's found this comfort and as soon as we hear sucking we put him down and he's asleep so I'd say give it time but I appreciate that's not what you want to hear if she's still awake and crying right now.
2 months is a very difficult stage but it gets a lot better really soon.

Oh and tbh she'll probably grow out of this in a matter of days. It's just exciting for them when they discover their hands. Cosleeping sounds like the best option for now to help calm her down.

Maybe try different size /shape of dummies? Ds was prem and had size 00 MAM for ages! Some babies like the cherry shape better!

She will find her thumbs, and you'll get lots of great sleep after that.

Or show her her little thumbs if she can't figure out how to suck them and stop trying to stop her..

Dummies are a rod for your own back. Babies become dependent on them and lose them in the cot, then cry for them. They chew little bits off them while teething, a choking hazard. They can keep sucking them while playing so they can retard speech development (thumb suckers have to take a thumb out to play with two hands).

11 week olds are noticing much more in their environments and becoming more stimulated. The sucking isn't the issue.

But there's nothing wrong with the sucking of hands or thumbs m, and it's not causing the problem you're having.

Watch out for earlier cues of tiredness. You may be missing some.

None of them has been my experience with dummies with either of my children.

You can wean a child off a dummy but you can’t wean them off their thumb…

I know it is all normal for her age, it’s just so draining mentally trying to put her to bed every night. I follow her wake windows as closely as possible in the day to avoid overtiredness and her daytime naps are fine. I watch her closely and feel I am very aware of her cues. It’s like a switch in the evening and like she senses that things are different, and just fights it. I’m so tired and just need >2hr stretch myself. We fought with her this evening and managed to get her asleep in our bed at 10pm. 45 minutes later she’s awake again. I am exhausted but everything I’ve read says things only get worse when you hit the 4 month regression. I don’t know how it’s supposed to get worse than this!

It might not get worse OP. Or it might, but even if it does, it will be temporary. You really don't need to read about things 'geettimg worse' and worry about something that hasn't even happened. All babies are different and a book or webpage cant tell you what your baby's sleep will be like. I say this really kindly OP. I know you're knackered, it's bloody hard work. I'm sure you're doing a great job, we are all just muddling along as best we can. I can categorically tell you that your child's sleep will improve. When, I can't say, but it will. They aren't going to wake you 2hrly forever.

10pm bedtime for an 11 week old sounds super normal too btw. It will get earlier with time. I can't tell you when as all kids are different, but it def will.

Baby sleep patterns are exhausting enough without you worrying about them on top. Really try not to worry and just get as much sleep as you can. Do you have a partner? Are they supporting you to get as much sleep as possible in between breastfeeds? How long is baby on the breast for at each wake up?

OP how did it go for you in the end? We don’t have the night wakes you had right now (sounds awful), but our 11 week old will wake up shortly after being put down for bed time and frantically try to suck her hands or the side of the cot, occasionally she’ll fall back asleep but most of the time she’ll cry and I have to feed her or let her suck my finger and then the feed, sleep, wake, frantic suck, continues until about 10pm

its like you said - she just behaves differently at bedtime, much more frantic. How long did this last for you? And did she find her thumb? My elder daughter had found it but this point

10pm bedtime is what we were doing at that age? I wouldn't bother trying for earlier if that's when she goes down. I really wouldn't worry about wake windows and overtiredness etc, there's no scientific basis for WW and overtiredness is a bit of a myth. Get outside, get baby lots of fresh air and different scenery, do naps on the go, or co-sleep for naps so you can have a nap as well. I remember having to hold my baby's arms by her side until she was asleep, like swaddling. 2 hourly wakes are normal at that age, especially if you're BF. And don't think about future sleep, it's going to change constantly over the next 1-2 years, just do what works each day and night.

She found her thumb a couple of weeks after this, but still would not sleep unless on me. A very exhausting couple of months! When she was a little older, we sleep trained, which was a game changer. She’s an excellent sleeper now, and falls asleep independently for both naps and bedtime without fussing.

Hope things get a little easier for you, I found the 4 month mark a real turning point and things definitely got easier after the 4 month regression.

Thanks, super helpful :). And good to hear re the 4 month regression, I found the same with my DD1 so hoping it’s similar for DD2