Crying - Experienced mums please help!

[sophia13]

Are there any experienced mums out there who can help? I am a new mum to a 10 day old baby girl. For the last 3 days she has not stopped crying. I breastfeed her and that's the only time she seems happy. There is certainly nothing wrong with her appetite! She often falls asleep on the breast but then quickly becomes unsettled. She brings up a lot of the feed during the first hour and seems uncomfortable with lots of crying which breaks my heart. Also, she won't settle, either in my arms or in her moses basket. She has finally fallen asleep as I write this but I'm worried it may not be for long. The poor thing must be exhausted. This may all sound trivial to you but I would be most greatful for any advice! Is this a normal phase or could it be colic? What can I do to settle her after feeds?

not an experienced mum by any stretch but my little girl is now 16 weeks old. She was the same, she often fed for 4 or 5 hours at a time, which was exhuasting for me. Things got a lot better at 4 weeks, then again at 6 and again at 8 weeks.

People told me that I would forget about those early days but I havent and I won't!! I have written it all down.

We took it in turns to hold her for an hour at a time each night for the first 3 weeks or so, eventually as she grew more comfortable with the world around her, she would sleep (at night only) in her moses basket - the relief was incredible

Do you have a baby sling? She was also calm in that but they have to weigh 8lbs to go in the baby bjorn one

ps) does she suffer from wind? Have you used infacol? I think thats from birth .. ?

I fed on demand but my little one had and still has very bad wind.

this was normal for me too, then i saw a breast feeding counsellor and they inproved my latch by millimetres and it made the world of difference, Is there a breastfeeding workshop near you? ask the MW about them. But also tiny babies want to be close to you all the time. It gets better

Thanks for your advice! I feel better just knowing that I'm not the only one going through this. I'm still a bit concerned about the amount of milk she brings up after the feed - will ask midwife when she calls tomorrow. I feed every 3 hours - but if the crying gets really bad, more often. I knew the first few weeks would be hard but I think I feel more overwhelmed, anxious and helpless than I was prepared for. Thanks again for your support.

I agree with what the others have said, but also have you tried swaddling? It can make them feel a bit more secure and so helps them settle IME.

My DS was the same and after what turned into a number weeks of virtually constant feeds, spitting up, trying slings (worked well during the day) infacol etc I very reluctantly tried a dummy on my mums suggestion. Despite vowing they were evil things and my DS would never have one it worked like a dream! He only used it for 3 weeks then stopped of his own accord so it seems it was just enough to see him through an unsettled period. Still dont know what caused it all though, put it down to a 'phase'

my ds was like this and was diagnosed with reflux..poor thing couldnt bear to be fed lying down[oh what fun!!] and had to be kept upright ,then the colic appeared at 3 weeks which was actually diagnosed after as milk allergy ..talk to your dr and keep going back if your instinct says its not just normal crying, does you little one bring her knees up when crying or arch her back /, my instincts kept saying their wa something wrng but they kept telling me he just had baby colic and he would grow out of it but my little one cried all day nd then wouldnt sleep at night either because he was uncomfortable..hope i havent worried you nowbut what i meant was please trust your instincts

Thanks you people, you've been a great help. Today has been a much better day and I feel much more relaxed, will enjoy it while it lasts. Off to give her a bath now so we'll see how that goes

Try lots of fresh air, too. Somehow even if you're having to walk and walk it's not as bad as feeling hopeless and helpless when they're crying.

Mine were just like your baby.

I wanted to send DS no1 back when he was born but he is 4 now and wouldnt be without him. The first few weeks are a nightmare. My DH used to walk in from work and I'd hand him over and go to bed. Things do get easier she is only young and you are both finding your feet. And you will forget and look back and thing what was all that about until you do it again. DS bought up his feed for 4 months but still put on weight its nothing to worry about unless they arent gaining.

Normal at this age to 'wake up' to the world. Starts at 2 weeks, peaks at 6 weeks. Known as Purple Crying! sadly, most infant shaking, abuse coincides at the 6 week stage.

Hold her as much as poss - get a sling. Both my DSs loved the Baby Bjorn. You'll hear oldies say that you're spoiling her - nonsense, babies are designed to be held close to mum and dad and to be fed to sleep. Don't think you have to be quiet either, babies sleep through anything and the slight movement of being 'on' mum and hearing the dull murmer of her voice is very soothing.

If she is cranky/colicky, get Harvey Karp's 'Hapiiest Baby on the Block'. By Swaddling, Swinging. SSshing, and Suckling, you'll learn to be able to calm her.

hi, is there any particular reason you are making her wait every three hours? most breastfed newborns that i know personally are feeding closer to every 1.5 hrs.

Sophia :-) Hi!

It has only been 10 days, but I am sure it feels like a year! It can only get better though so hang in there.

My daughter had colic and after talking to my HV I decided I didn't want to put my DD on regular colic meds as I felt she was to tiny for meds and chemicals...also my HV told me it could take some time to work and after weeks of no sleeping I wanted a quick, herbal fix. So I got COLOCYNTH from my local pharmacy. They are little granuals and are safe and herbal and they worked immediatly! I gave it to DD and she was asleep 15 minutes later.

I also noticed that you said your DD gets sick quite a bit in the first hour after a feed. It is very normal for a baby to be sick a bit...but if it is a lot then talk to HV (always looks like more than it probably is but you will know best). If it smells like milk then it is ok...but if it smells like sick (acidy) then she may have acid relux which my DD also had! I got a prescription for Infant Gaviscon (so had to get over my no chemical thingy) and it worked wonders and she stopped being sick so stayed full longer as well since she was holding it all in!

Sorry that was all so long, but if it helps then great! If not...it will get better :-)

Oh also! I had a baby swing and it was my best friend after my DD. It had lights and music and she would sleep for HOURS! If you can I would invest in one (if your baby likes swinging) Maybe a vibrating bouncer chair? It will help you as well to be able to put her down for a min to have a tiny break if you feel like you may freak.

I also liked the sling idea from Highlander. I also used that when I wanted to get house work done and again she slept hours. I don't quite know why I wanted to get house work done...but it worked! (also since she was right there on me I listened to head phones while cleaning and it felt like I had some time to myself even though she was with me the whole time)

sorry again for long message! :-)

Ds was like this. He was diagnosed with reflux (was also ftt), and put on medication which sorted him out.

If it is reflux and your dd is gaining well, there are loads of non-drug ways of helping too.

Could she be bringing the milk up because of the crying? Is she crying because shes still hungry?
Breastfed babies are usually fed every 1 and a half to 2 hours as far as I know, so maybe shes crying because shes hungry? Im just guessing btw.

What I meant by bringing milk up b/c of the crying, is hat sometimes they get themselves so worked up, they are sick.

I don't understand, OP says she's feeding every 3 hours "more often" if the crying is getting bad.

In which case, why not feed her more often, since feeding settles her? Is she refusing the breast if you offer it any sooner? //Genuinely confused//

Otherwise I was going to say it sounds like a wind problem, they can't feed/latch on if they have too much air in the tummy.

I didn't realise that so many people are stil giving advice on this! Thank you so much! A week and a half later and things have settled down. The crying has stopped! If anything, I now worry that she sleeps to much. You can't win, can you?