Baby cries when put in cot

[RachelJayne]

I need some advise as I don't know what technique to use for the best.

Have recently moved house and this was a good opportunity to transition baby into his own room and cot.

I do his bedtime routine, give him his bottle and he will fall asleep in my arms, so he is obviously tired and content. Then when I lower him down into his cot he feels this and starts crying.

This is where I don't know what to do. I've tried various methods. Short CIO, shushing, patting etc. I need to find a method and stick to it, but I don't know what to do. There's been a few night where I've left the room and he's fell asleep 5 mins later, and others it's been 15 and I've went back in for shushing patting etc.

There have been 1 or 2 nights where he hasn't woke when being transferred.

He's such a happy and chilled little boy but at bedtime he's upset and it's hard to not know what to do for the best.

I could cave and cosleep, but the quality of sleep for both of us is way worse. He's got no end of love and cuddles throughout the day.

Please let me know what techniques worked for you..

Thank you xxx

He clearly doesn't agree with your assessments that this is a good time to move to his own cot and room. Were you cosleeping before and how old is he?

He was in a next 2 me forever which he would generally sleep all night in happily, but we would go sleep here and there if he woke up at say 5/6 am, I would bring him in with me for the last couple of hours

Put him into his cot awake and leave the room.

What age baby? Sounds like they aren’t ready to be so far away from you. If you don’t want to cosleep, would you consider floor bed for them so you can roll away?

I used to drape a blanket over my front and while baby was dropping off (opposite side to breast out) I'd wrap it around them then place them down. Heating pads or hot water bottles (removed before baby) can help the transition.

The only thing that we found was to bend in the cot with baby They can feel less secure by hands only lowering them and their startle telex can go. They also and want to feel warmth and body so removing you from your warmth, and less secure may be too much all at once/

Something next to cheek - muslin until they are really out (but don’t leave baby with it) help. If you put something next to a baby’s cheek some babies will snuggle into this and sleep. Good luck.

How old is he? What worked for us is breaking the 'feed to sleep' cycle, so giving a slightly earlier bottle, then bath then bed. Lots of cuddles before bed then put down drowsy but awake. He will cry the first couple of nights but he'll be absolutely fine and will happily go to sleep on his own after this. If you'd rather not have any crying then there is a method called 'camping out' (google it and you'll find how to do it) but it will take longer. Best of luck!

I saw on IG the other day to make the cot a fun and safe place. So do tummy time in there, baby massage, face to face etc, maybe even a mobile to look at. Then when you put them in there they are familiar with their surroundings before you start to get them to fall asleep.

Yet to try this, as not quite at that stage yet!

while this all sounds lovely, for babies you are the safe space. - from a developmental perspective, babies who stay close to caregivers stay alive so they are hardwired to seek connection and objects can’t provide that!

He is 9.5 months is this too young for a floor bed? I hadn't considered it.

He sleep through until about 7.30 has always been great it's just now these recent tears are stressful and he's usually a happy little man

What was your experience with this?

Are you eluding to let him cry it out?
Some nights he drops off 5 mins after I leave the room so I think well that's not too bad but then some nights it continues for 15 mins and my heart cannot handle this so I go back in and shush, pat etc

I would love to keep him in my arms longer until he is really out cold but my back hurts!

This is exactly it the high side of the bed makes it hard for him to be put down without noticing

The hot water bottle is a good idea I think the cot mattress could feel colder compared to my arms x

Don't do this.

Have a look at Lindsey Hookway and cosleepy. What we did was go take off one side of cot and push mattress up beside it (no space/cracks for safety) but we both had own sleep surface. I would kinda of roll them back in after feeding but could keep holding hand/an arm over them. I wouldn’t use floor bed unless I was sleeping beside them but have a research into the into it to see if it would work for you. Also please do due diligence on how to do it safely if you decide on it - not being beside walls etc!

Can you lie down with him for 20min or so until he's proper asleep and then transfer to cot? Time it from when he drifts of to when you transfer him. With mine, if I leave it for half an hour they'll wake when I transfer, and 5-10mins they'll wake when I transfer, but anything in between is the sweet spot

My son would never sleep in a cot, I had to buy a single bed and put a bed guard up and put the bed next to mine, so we all got a decent nights sleep.
When his brother came along when he was six months we put him in a cot in his own room and put his brother's bed in there too, he was fine then.

I would personally work towards putting him down awake when he's calm and content in your arms, and supporting to sleep in the cot with shh and pats, rather than transferring when asleep - as you say he's heavy and successful transfers can get harder and harder as they get older! If you support to sleep with him awake in the cot, he then just may get better and better at completely falling asleep on his own without crying. If you get to that you can then put down awake, leave and go back in timed intervals of crying (2,5,10 minutes etc) to comfort and calm again.