15 month old just won’t sleep through the night, never has!

[Zd24]

Just needed a place to let this all out and ask for advice as I’m desperate at this point. I’ve got 2 older kids aged 9 and 7 and never been through anything like this with them, my 9 year old wasn’t the best sleeper but nothing on this level.
my 15 month old baby girl has never slept through the night, and she’s getting worse as she gets older.
she moves so much in her sleep, gets up and throws her head backwards or forwards and I can’t sleep because I’m worried about her hurting herself, she won’t sleep in her cot so I put her in our bed just for some sanity and to get some rest but she still won’t sleep, she doesn’t actually wake up, she just screams on and off all night and big screams not little cries. She’s only on 1 nap a day in the late morning early afternoon. I’m having problems in other areas with her too, she is extremely attached to me and even at 15 months old doesn’t want me to put her down, she is generally fine to play as long as I am sitting down and she goes anywhere she wants but the minute I stand up to leave her to play to get something done she runs after me screaming and will not stop unless I pick her up. My back is causing problems as she’s not small anymore. I feel embarrassed, I’ve had 2 kids before and being defeated by the 3rd and just don’t know what to do or how to handle this. I’ve tried everything to make her sleep. I can’t get her to settle down and even go to sleep when my older 2 do. I am very often trying to get her to sleep when my own eyes are closing because I’m so exhausted. I’m not being dramatic but it is now affecting me physically and mentally. I feel so burnt out, I feel ill, I’ve been lightheaded and dizzy for months. I just feel so ill and tired, it’s affecting my mental health as well as physical, I feel depressed, just tired, I’m snapping at my husband and older children constantly and I’m always in a bad mood and it makes me feel awful about myself. It’s changing me into a person I no longer recognise. I’m very scared I’ll never get back to good health or what I used to be, I had an extremely hard pregnancy with severe sickness that lasted all the way up till I gave birth, had a very difficult birth and lost a lot of blood and now 15 months of no sleep I just feel absolutely broken and feel a way I never felt with my older 2 children and I’m scared I will never be normal again or get my health back.I’ve tried the health visitor and they are no use at all. I’ve heard about sleep consultants but don’t know what to do. I’m crying every night when she is just screaming because I just need to sleep. My husband isn’t much help as he works all the time, my family live far away. I honestly feel like booking myself into a near by hotel for the night just to escape everything and sleep 😩 any advice please ?

I don't have any answers but want to bump this so it stays on the Active list and someone may come along and help.

I am so sorry you are going through this

Have you been to see your GP? The level of restlessness and crying in her sleep seems quite unusual. If you can film some clips of how she is when sleeping that would give the GP an idea of how things are.

Bless you, this sounds awful and I can absolutely relate to the lack of sleep, it’s a form of torture for a reason!

I would say firstly her being very attached to you at this age is totally normal, my DD is 18 months and some days will scream until I hold her while I’m doing whatever I’m doing!

With her sleep, you say she screams but doesn’t actually wake up - could she be dreaming?

Have you thought of getting rid of the cot altogether and trying a floor bed? If nothing else it might mean you and your partner can take shifts sleeping in her bed and one can get some
proper rest!

My DD was a terrible sleeper until about 15/16 months and we still have bumpy nights! She’s never spent a night in a cot and slept the first 9 months ON me or DH and then next to be (waking up 4+ times a night!)

Make sure you rest where you can, ask for help and look after yourself (easier said than done I know) 💖

Book a hotel for the night.

Or a friends spare room. Or cut a deal with husband whereby it’s Friday night and you get to go to bed at 8pm with earplugs in and it’s his night. Then swap duty at 2 am or for next night.

Check your iron and vitamin D. Or just assume they’re both tanked and start topping up. Not a magic solution but will help marginally and easy to do.

Look for a crèche, some gyms have them. Or a local teenager who’ll play with child at home while you nap.

Take a pause, are they safe in their cot? (Bearing in mind their the age that crash into everything). If they’re noisily and writhing but sleeping, leave them to it.

If you getting back to sleep after they’re back to sleep is part of things get a sleep headband. The £10.99 off Amazon sort not the branded snooze band. Listen to something like Sandi Toksvig autobiography. Just about interesting enough to distract brain. Not enough to stay awake.

Thanks everyone for your replies and advice. Baby was bad again last night 😩 I don’t put her in her cot to sleep because one of the things she does at night is, she still sleeps but gets up and then flings her head backwards or forwards, she just moves so much and keeps hitting her head, so I put her in the middle of me and my husband, not the best but I do it just to try and get some sleep but she still screams. She doesn’t open her eyes or fully wake up just screams, it wasn’t this bad as this past week.

i am thinking about taking her to the gp just to rule anything else out, I’ve also heard about sleep consultants. I just feel like a failure having 2 kids before and this little one is defeating me, I honestly never remember anything being this bad with my older 2. My oldest wasn’t the best sleeper but nothing compared to this level.

she is also very clingy during the day, I know one of you said it was normal at 15 months of age but this has been going on since she was about 4 months old. Don’t get me wrong I’d love to cuddle her all day but she just cannot seem to entertain herself and play nicely whilst I get some things done. She has so many lovely toys and isn’t interested, she seems to be better when her older brother and sister are home, so maybe it’s an attention thing when they are at school? But I literally cannot get anything done whilst the older 2 are at school and then they are coming home and I’m still cleaning and cooking and I feel awful.

i was thinking of putting her into nursery 1 day a week to help with the attachment issues and so I can have a break and get some things done but at the same time again I feel awful and guilty for even thinking it. I’ve just opened my own business, baking! And I’m cancelling orders because I can’t get them done with little one she just constantly screams at my legs, and because I feel so ill all the time and tired which isn’t good because when you cancel orders people obviously don’t come back! It’s affecting the relationship with my husband, older children, my business! I spoke to the class leader at baby’s sensory class that she goes to on a Tuesday, we both enjoy that, she absolutely loves it and she runs around and plays with other babies so I get a break for 45 minutes and talk to other mums, the class leader suggested talking to a sleep consultant. I just know they cost a lot, don’t get me wrong though at this point I’ll do anything

All Of my 3 were horrific sleepers - they didn’t sleep through the night for years, DS3 didn’t sleep through the night until he went to school, and even then not reliably until year 1.

They all grew out of it naturally. You have my sympathy - it was truly awful. It did stop though.

No advice OP. My almost 4 year old has slept through the night less than 5 times. My 14 month old is yet to sleep through the night.

It’s tough, but it does slowly get better. At this age, my older one would wake up every 1.5 hours. And now we’re at 1-2 wake ups a night. Some children are just bad sleepers.

You need to do whatever you need to do to survive. Co-sleep, day time naps, early nights for you, whatever you need.

If you want to run a business, you need childcare to enable you to do that.

Ignoring all the other issues.