3-4 month old not going to sleep until 23:30-midnight..

[Green44]

DD has just turned four months old although this has been going on for a while so I’ve put 3 to 4 months in the title!

The problem is that try as we might, she won’t go down for her first sleep stint until 11:30pm, sometimes midnight.

We recently tried taking her up earlier but it didn’t help - instead of sleep stints lasting 3 the. 2 then 1.5 hours, she was awake every 1-1.5 hours, it was awful! On other occasions when I’ve taken her up early she’ll just simply not go to sleep until later!

I don’t know what to do to bring it forwards? I’ve searched so many posts on here and apparently all babies go down for their long stint at around 7pm!

She is EBF and we co-sleep (but that’s another thread altogether!).

Hi @Green44! Infant sleep consultant here!

How is her daytime sleep? She might be going through the 4 month sleep regression but it could also be a host of other reasons! Is she awake and bubbly until 23:00 or is she fussy and upset?

Neither of my children went to bed at 7pm at that age. My eldest started going down about 7pm around 8 months old when his nap routine stabilised a bit. Before that he would go to bed 3ish hours after his last nap, so it was variable. By the time he was 1, bedtime was back up to 8.30pm, then more like 7pm when he dropped to one nap. Bedtimes and sleep needs fluctuate a lot in the first couple of years.

My youngest was the same, 3/4hours after last nap so bedtime was flexible. Now he isn’t the biggest fan of daytime naps and tends to only have 1 lunchtime nap for an hour, he’s is 11 months and tends to go to bed around 6pm due to limited naps.

Both still wake a night.

I know none of this is actually advice, my point is that not all babies sleep 7-7 straight through. Sleep needs can change based on age/naps/activity levels/development so don’t stress about an arbitrary bedtime, so what works for you and your baby, there is no problem with a later bedtime if everyone is happy.

Ditto with the cosleeping - do what works as long as everyone is happy.

From birth, my second baby never went to bed until really late. Even when she was a toddler. She was happy staying up and played quietly, then slept well at night and woke up at a normal time so I just rolled with it tbh. Eventually she started going to bed a bit earlier especially when school started as she was more tired.

She's 10 now and still needs very little sleep. Goes to bed later than her older brother. I'm hoping it stands her in good stead for when she's a junior doctor or a high flying lawyer or management consultant or something 🤣

Oh that’s lucky @sellingupslow!

I’ve just been thinking back and DD has been like this since well before Christmas so all the way through her third month, so not sure if that could be regression related?

Her daytime naps are quite good really. When we wake up I’ll do a nappy change and we have a bit of chill time and a feed and she always has a morning nap. The timing of the rest of the naps can change depending on if we’re out and about but she’ll nod off in her pram or in my arms, probably five naps a day.

In the evening she is definitely starting to get tired and grizzly. But any sleep will just be a nap. We might get tears, eye rubs or what have you, especially after the final nap. The last few days:

Slept 6-6:45, then 8:45-9:15 then went down at 11:30.

Slept 5:10-5:50, then 8:20-8:55 then went down at 11:20

Slept 6-6:45, then 8:25-9:20 then went down at 11:20

Slept 6:50-7:30, then 8:05-8:50, then went down at 11:55pm!

As DD will only contact nap, she is held in our arms for all these naps. It’s just occurred to me now that perhaps I should try taking her to bed for the 8pm-ish nap… but then that means I’ve got to go to bed then too? 🤔

That is normal for a breast fed baby, at that age they feed around every four hours so you'll never get a full nights sleep out of them at that age.

Until baby is six months old they should be in the same room as a parent, not left alone. At that age I just used to sit and watch TV all evening, talk to DP etc with baby in my arms until bedtime. Both of my babies were ebf and we co-slept so there was no point in taking them to bed when they just wanted to be held. You need to wait until six months before attempting any kind of sleep training.

Regarding those posts you keep reading about babies sleeping for long spells, that will be formula fed babies who tend to sleep better and easier than breast fed ones!

She's too young to have a proper bedtime especially as she's EBF. Mine just came to bed the same time as me (around 10pm), had their last feed then and had their long (ish) sleep.
I wouldn't worry about it until she's at least 6 months.

Yeah this is normal, we called it the witching hours! Lots of fussing and cluster feeding every evening at that age.

You'll get through it without any big changes or sleep consultation. Start a bedtime routine around 6-9 months.

LOL I posted the same thing on mumsnet a few months ago. I was driving myself crazy as my baby was doing the exact same thing. I was told to chill out. He started to put himself to sleep around 7.30 just after he turned 4 months but he's a big baby. So probably in a few weeks you'll see a change.