Baby takes between 2/3hours to settle every single night

[BeHangryGoldPoet]

My baby is coming up four months old.
Once she’s down to sleep, she’s great and often sleeps through, or wakes just once through the night.
Getting her to sleep is a nightmare though.
I give her a bath, put dim lighting on, white noise and then feed her.
She likes to feed and then drift in and out of sleep. She’ll doze for five minutes and then be wide awake in this time.
Often after that I’ll have to rock her for a while, then feed her again until she’s asleep, then wait until she’s deeply asleep before putting her into the crib. If I try to put her down ‘drowsy but awake’ she screams at the top of her lungs.
Some nights she will fall sleep by me just sitting next to the crib and repeatedly putting her dummy back in her mouth, but again, this takes ages.
She often wakes up to comfort nurse half an hour after she’s gone down for the first time. After this false start, she tends to be down for the night.

Some nights i start at 6 and don’t sit down properly until 10pm 😣

Since I started following wake windows this whole process starts at about 6pm now, which is better than the 8pm start it used to be. She’s always ready for bed at about 6- rubbing eyes and starting to yawn so it’s not a case of her going down too early. Her last nap finishes about 4.

I have tried taking her upstairs later, but that just sets the whole thing back. She simply will not settle without this 2/3 hour routine.

Please can anyone suggest anything that might help? I’m completely lost with it, I know it’s me doing something wrong but I just don’t know what or where to start!

Have you tried pushing bed time later? At that age, my DC didn’t settle for overnight sleep until 9/10pm, there was nothing I could have done differently, it’s just who she was. Between 4-7 months sleep time gradually got earlier in the evening and she slept later until she was 7-7 at 7-8 months.

It sucks and I remember this time well, just realign your expectations and don’t put so much pressure on yourself to get her to sleep that early in the evening. It’s great you have a routine though, that will help as her sleep starts to settle down in the next couple of months.

Just to totally agree with the above - at that age 'bed time' for us was much later, around 9/10pm. Last nap would be later, in the early evening, another wake window and then he'd go to bed when we went up for the evening. And over time bed time got earlier. We just followed his lead and didn't have the energy/didn't make any sense for us to try and get him to settle at set times. Similar to yours, drowsy but awake never worked and few times I tried to do anything else but cuddle and feed to sleep it took ages and made me anxious, and exhausted. Try and follow her lead on sleep if you can, at this age there is no need to try and implement an earlier bed time if it's not working. Good luck, agree with the pp about resetting expectations, and give yourself a break if you can! You're already doing an amazing job.

Can you do a cat nap at 6pm however possible e.g. on you, feeding etc. Then when she wakes, get her up and do bedtime at 9/10? Would it still take 4 hours?

You're expecting too much and she's trying to tell you what she needs.

2 hour wake window is too short for bedtime. Ignore wake windows and take her to bed at 7-7.30.

4-6 months is such a tricky age, after many battles we kept ours downstairs with us asleep in their buggies until we went to bed. Worked wonders. Into buggy at 7 ish, out at 10 for a feed and into bed.

4 months is a tricky transition phase. Before 14 weeks, he'd just nap easily through the evening whilst we watched TV before we went up to bed at midnight (I'd have an evening nap).

After about 18-20 weeks we could put him down to sleep in his cot and sneak out to watch tv.

But in-between, he was too wired by the TV etc to enjoy the evenings (he'd really grouse and whine), but too awake to sleep properly. So we'd take him upstairs, and I'd have him cuddle nap whilst I read my kindle.

It only lasted a short while, just an awkward phase whilst bedtime gets earlier.