Wishing I’d never started BFing

[Turtlemama24]

Deep into the 4 month sleep regression with DD and was wondering if anyone else regretted breastfeeding at this stage?

Love DD a lot but she’s a velcro baby. Since birth she’d cry if put down. Never intended to feed to sleep but combi feeding didn’t work out. She’s never indicated that she’s ‘full’ but has always fallen asleep while BFing. She’s a big baby so no worries about volume!

She won’t fall asleep without feeding. Her naps last 30 mins at best and with a joyous combination of regression, a cold and teething the longest stretch of sleep has been 2 hours at night recently. She cries every time she wakes up in her cot, ‘drowsy but awake’ never worked and even slightly rousing her at put down isn’t doing the trick like it used to. We’re following appropriate wake windows to make sure she’s not over or under tired but her lack of long stretches is making that hard.

I’m exhausted and want to stop feeding to sleep but I’m so sleep deprived that I don’t want to ruin the very little sleep I am getting. We’ve tried in the past not feeding to sleep and she cries for hours, even being rocked, shushed, soothed etc. I also just feel like everything is on me - it’s tiring holding a (big) baby all day and all night.

Did anyone else give up BFing at this stage, how did you do it and how did it go? Or did you push through?

It’s so so so so awful. The four month regression was a particularly dark time for me. I pushed through, because although it felt like I was going to do it forever, actually when I stopped you realise what a short amount of time it was. The best I ever coped was actually just accepting how truly shit it was and watching series on my laptop while I did it! I’m really glad I carried on though. Sending you strength!

It maybe that all the rocking and shushing is far too much stimulation and actually you are keeping her awake now she isa bit more aware of her surroundings at 4 months

maybe try a pitch black room, loud white noise (like so loud you can hear it outside the room) and go and sit in the corner where she cant see you and grit your teeth for 5 mins, then go back over if you have to, put a hand on her tummy for 30 seconds and then back off for another 5 mins. Dont talk, put any lights on or look her in the eye. Repeat until she crashes. You might crack it in 2 nights at 4 months old

I fed to sleep until I weaned both mine (they wee much older) it just was the easiest thing to do.
The only time I didn’t feed to sleep was when took them out in the pram for a nap and they fell asleep.

you could try a dummy

You might have a bad sleeper, I did with my first, and however you feed them won’t help. I did exactly the same with my second and she slept at least 3 hours from the start.

9 months in it with a similar baby!
It does get better!
Like previously mentioned it's good to just embrace it, and remember this too shall pass!
I still BF all night long, I give a bottle of formula before bed and it doesn't make a blind bit of difference!!
I still feed to sleep, contact nap and do all
The things I "shouldn't"!!!
The 4 month stage is hard
never give up on a bad day!

I switched to purely breast fed to a combination of bottle and breast at around that age. I then went to bed at 7 and my husband did the 7-1am shift. Always found the magic number was a straight 4 hours sleep meant I survived the next day. Thought it might be hard to introduce a bottle a day (so either my baby reject the bottle or breastfeeding) but actually he took to it fine.

Yeah mine is almost 5 months and I regret breastfeeding massively. It puts me off having a second child.

There is so much invisible work that goes into it that my partner doesn't appreciate.

The worst is when baby has a few nights of bad sleep and feeds a lot, then he randomly sleeps through but I don't because he's created a massive oversupply and my breasts are too painful and engorged. So baby sleeps, DH sleeps, but mum still doesn't sleep.

I have 2 pregnant friends who have been asking me about breastfeeding and told them both to think carefully if they want to do it. It's too fucking hard.

I have no idea OP. I also have an EBF 4 month old and his sleep is hideous. He will only contact nap during the day and co sleep at night. I feel like I’m losing my mind.

So no advice but you’re really not alone. I can’t decide if we just need to ride it out or if I’ve got us into bad habits and need to make a concerted effort to get him to sleep in his crib at night at least.

I was really proud of breastfeeding him this long but like you feel like all I do is feed him to sleep and keep wondering if giving him a bottle before bed would change anything.

No. I don't now. I remember how hard it was. I found the second year harder as I was back at work and still feeding on demand overnight. It got much easier at 2 years old because I night weaned DD2 then. She breastfed until nearly 6 years old.

It was worth it. Her mental health is so much better than her sister's who was mix fed until 12 months. She is now 10 years old.

Thank you everyone for your replies. This lack of sleep thing is brutal!

With all babies, you can tell if they're full because their hands go from clenched to relaxed when they're satisfied.

They might still suckle for comfort though.

Exactly the same issue now! Did you manage to ride through? There's not a single not of difference between your initial post and my child now. Baby is 3 months 24 days

Dummy, hand to DH and make yourself scarce. She can smell your milk, so will want the real thing until she gets used to a dummy. I also avoided bouncing around etc with babies, dark room, white noise (MyHummy was great and continued for 12 hours a go) and just held them firmly but still until they dropped off. Like another poster, when going through a sleep regression, DH and I would break the night into two, DH would bottle feed (either expressed of formula, depending on if I'd managed to express earlier) and we both got a decent enough chunk to get us through the next day.

Sorry to hear that @An89 - it sucks! I’ve continued to breast feed and still haven’t managed to get DD to sleep another way. Just can’t bear her crying so I chose the path of least resistance despite the exhaustion.

The 4 month regression is somewhat better now - she turned 5 months today. One night this week she slept 5 hours then 4 hours (!). Still lots of nights with her up every hour after midnight but it’s not every night any more.

We’re slowly starting solid food and at 6 months we’re going to move her to her own room so I’m clinging on to maybe that might help.

Sending you solidarity! These velcro babies are not easy.