1 year old refuses to sleep past 4am

[GreenBird92]

Hi there,

This is my first post, so please be kind!

I have a 2.5 year old and a 1 year old and sleep has become a huge struggle.

• 12 month vomits if he’s put into his cot awake as he gets so upset
• he is waking up at 4 and refusing to sleep
• naps for maybe 20mins in the morning and afternoon - longer if out on a walk. Manages to sleep longer at nursery or with grandparents, but never me or his dad.
• needs to be fed to sleep as he either won’t settle, or will cry until he voms.
• 2 year old taking forever to settle at night and is waking up at 5.
• bedtime is taking over 2 hours each night.

backstory
My first boy was a dream sleeper, slept from 7.30 to 7ish every day, and old woke up at night if he was ill or teething.

My second has been a nightmare with sleep. When he was really small he would be waking up every 45 mins until he turned around 8 months where we basically co-slept. Fast forward a couple more months where we managed to transfer him into a cot as he kept falling off the mattress (just on the floor) and hurting himself, he still woke once or twice during the night but you managed to keep putting him fully back to sleep after around 15mins through bfeeding and he’s wake up at 6.

Now, he wakes through the night maybe once or twice, and sometimes manages to settle himself (no longer bfeeding) after about 20-40mins but now he will not sleep past 4am, no matter what I do.

We cannot get him to fall asleep by himself in his cot, as he just screams and cries, I’ve tried leaving him for extended period but when he works himself up he always vomits so we can’t leave him to just cry it out.

He’s waking up the 2 year old, so he’s now getting into the cycle of waking up around 5, and he’s not settling himself to sleep until around 8.30 and dropping his daytime nap which is leading us all to be cranky, over tired and over stimulated.

Does anyone have any advice of what I can do?

…we’ve tried music on, nightlight, black out blinds, white noise, wont take a dummy, won’t use any comforters

thanks so much for reality his rambles post! ☺️

I do leave him a while, I hate to admit it but I’ll leave him for around 45 mins, then he reaches hysteria which I feel awful about.
At bedtime, I’ll make sure he’s completely asleep as if not we have to repeat the hour long cycle. And then if you put him in his cot too early and he wakes he voms after a short time of crying…
I’ve tried soothing, shushing, sitting beside, back patting, hand on him, leaving the room - you name it! And spread over months, not just in one sitting 😂

@GreenBird92 have you tried the Ferber method at all?

I feel for you, although not quite in the same situation my almost 2 year old likes to just cry when we put her to bed. We keep trying Ferber and it does work eventually but we don't have the vomiting to contend with which is hard.

I'm also terrible for giving a bottle in the night as I know she'll go back to sleep (normally) and need to try to stop this 😭

I haven’t with my youngest, I felt when I did it with my oldest, they ended up getting more stressed out when you leave. The little one will only calm down long after you’ve picked him up so putting him down just starts the whole cycle again. But that’s just during the night and not early morning 😭

At that age I'd still give a bottle of he woke up in the night. Could he be hungry?

I’ve tried it, but he just has a small amount then bats it away. Could give it another try to see if he’s just bit thirsty rather than hungry?

Maybe try a bit of water incase it's thirst not hunger

I found that quite stressful to read. Do you not just think that at this age it’s normal for them to wake up and seek comfort to go back to sleep? Some children are amazing sleepers and some are awful. Mine was awful for a long period, but I think that if I’d left him to cry, so much that he vomited, it would have made bad situation worse. One day he’ll manage to be an independent sleeper, but he’s obviously not there yet and it is causing him stress to force it.

A one year old isn't "refusing to sleep". He's just not sleepy. Babies can't entertain themselves. It is stressful to be unable to sleep.
When mine woke way too early I would comfort them but avoid bright lights and and stimulation.
It's horrible when you're going through it, but it ends.

@Robin223 I’m not leaving him to cry so long that he ends up being sick, it happens when we put him down in his cot at the start of the night if he’s not totally out of it. It’s literally as soon as we put him down, even just to put the bigger one back into bed.
we can’t even just pop him in his cot when we’re tidying his room or he goes hysterical. The issue is, no matter how much comfort we give him at 4 he refuses to sleep and I give in trying to get him to settle on me at around 5.30ish and just start the day.

Have you tried the huckleberry app? Track sleep for a few days naps and night time sleep. Is it possible to much day time sleep is happening? Or not enough?
Or bedtime just needs tweaking later or earlier?
I noticed early wake ups for my baby were because of over tiredness I brought bedtime earlier which sounds crazy but it worked! Baby slept till 06:30/7am!!

I would try putting baby in the cot in the middle of the day also to play calmly with a soft toy or something with you there. Try get them associating the cot with positives for a few days?

Don't enter the room until it's time for sleep I found helped us. Are you willing to hold/soothe baby until asleep for now? Then wait 30 mins and transfer to cot once completely asleep? If baby wakes up try holding for a good hour for a few nights then transfer. Worked for us.
Then look into putting them into cot drowsy later down the line?

Sending hugs to you

@Dfjackson I did use the app for a couple of months, but it just depressed me entering all the wake ups during the night 😂
that’s a good idea trying to get him used to the cot again, I’ll give that a go, and I’ll also try bedtime being earlier. He definitely isn’t getting too much sleep in the day so he probably is overtired
thank you!! ☺️

Is he cold? That’s the time that’s the coldest part of the night. He might not be cold at the beginning of the night but he may have cooled down by 4am?

I feel your pain, my first daughter was a horrendous sleeper. Could he be cold waking up so early? I read somewhere that it’s the most common reason, and to try socks as well as their usual bed wear.

If waking at 4, what time is the first nap? I also read if they nap too early in the day it’s seen as an extension of nighttime sleep so it reinforces early wake ups.

I hate to say nothing helped us it was a case of riding it out. She’s now 3 and still an awful sleeper but I can bribe now