Baby won’t sleep even though he knows how to self settle and we follow all wake windows!?

[Elliegmead]

Hello!

our little one is 4 months, and I am very aware of the 4 month sleep regression however we have never really had long stints of sleep (it is currently worse, perhaps the regression?)

He goes down for all naps by himself awake, and bedtime is the same for about the past month (since 3 months). I worked really hard at this! I have watched him wake from naps / early evening sleep and put himself back to sleep (not always but regularly enough).. so why are we still awake nearly every hour of the night or 1/2 hour? He goes right back off with the dummy back in (which to add he does not use when going to sleep initially so why is it needed in the night?). He has 2 night feeds approx 11pm and 2:30am, which I am fine with getting up, I don’t expect him to sleep through 10 hours.. but why is all the time in between so broken?

I have tried less day time sleep (3hours) and more (4-5) nothing seems to make it any more consistent. Reluctant to pay anyone who is sleep trained as he is great at going for naps, and at self settling..

thanks!

It will be the sleep regression, he'll work through it and be better in a few weeks (that will feel like a few decades).

I think how bad it is right now is probably the regression but it has always been maybe a wake up every hour or 2..any ideas on what could improve that? 🙏🏼

That sounds so rough, my sympathies! My much older child has suddenly reverted to some broken nights and it's taken me back to how difficult those early days are.

I think even if you do all the hard work of self settling and wake windows, it's no guarantee of better night time sleep or that this will always remain the same (however much a lot of sleep advice says otherwise). All babies are different and respond differently, and baby sleep isn't linear for all babies. I tried some of this stuff but my baby didn't respond and I was too knackered to persist with it or try to find a logical answer with no guarantee it would actually change anything! He changed all the time, and his sleep got better bit by bit without me doing anything apart from responding and riding it out. You're doing amazingly and this is just a (notoriously) difficult phase that will pass! Hang on in there and draw on as much support from those around you as you can to get through.