My toddler won't sleep

[FirstTimeMumma2021]

OK so my 3 ½ year old does sleep but it's always been rubbish. I could count on one hand the amount of times he has slept through during the night.
He goes to sleep in his own bed and will fall asleep quickly but then wakes up. Anything less than 5 times is a good night, often we can be over 8-10 wake ups in a night.
He tells us he's scared of monsters but at times there is no rhyme or reason to it and itll be lets get up and play, asking where his warch is and other random things. He gets up comes through and gets myself or DH to take him back to bed as he doesn't want to go alone. He has absolutely no interest in sleeping in our bed.
We've tried night light, gro clocks, cjanging bedtime routine, white noise (both constant and intermittent), offering rewards like stickers if he stays in bed, self settling, taking him back to bed and reinforcing it's bedtime with no talking. We always tell him there's no monsters but this has been going on over a year now.
I feel dead on my feet with tiredness between that and a 5 month old.

Does anyone have any solutions that have worked? At this point I'm thinking about trying a weighted blanket or magnesium vitamins

It may not win me parenting prizes, but we use bribery for things like this. Sticker rewards weren’t cutting it - how about a smartie or small sweet if he gets through the night? Can hopefully be phased out once his habits have reset.

Honestly, I was so desperate I pulled out the bug guns and offered him a toy or anything and it didn't work 😭

Did you make it real and achievable for him? So he got a chance to see the reward and it wasn’t such a difficult ask that he had no chance of getting it? Maybe set out a bowl with 10 smarties and explain that each time he gets you up you’ll take one away. First thing in the morning he gets whatever’s left.

If carrot isn’t working, maybe stick? No TV or whatever.

Obviously this isn’t a long term strategy but you must be absolutely desperate for a good night

I know you've said he has no interest in sleeping in your bed but does he settle if you join him in his bed? If not my guess would be maybe he's not tired enough? We were aiming for 7-7 overnight with my 3.5yo DD, she joins us in our bed after a few hours but was still so wakeful. She now goes to bed at between 8 and half past and although she still joins us in our bed she then sleeps much better until around 7.

@FirstTimeMumma2021 Did you try anything new? Any progress yet?

I'm so orry you having this I feel you, I'm going through same with my 2 year old she won't nap and resisting bed time, it's the fact that I'm not getting anytime to myself and I'm a single mum I also have a nine year old who I needed to give my time to but I just don't have any of it to give at present it's so exhausting and frustrating

Let's hope it passes and will be back to sleeping soon hang in there you not alone

@Rahhh drop the naps. Neither of mine slept during the day after 18 months.