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Sleep

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Original poster

'4 month wobble' has kicked in. Do I persevere with the sleep routine or put it on hold for the sake of my sanity?

20 replies

duellingfanjos · 03/05/2008 14:07

DD has always been a great sleeper. She used to doze/feed on and off all evening downstirs with us before settling after a final feed in our room at 10ish.
At about 12 weeks she started to tire much earlier and was going into her cot between 8 and 9 after a bath and a feed, then sleeping for a good 5 or 6 hours before settling easily again.
Oh how i wish i'd made the most of this time! DD is now showing signs of teething and the whole evening routne has gone out of the window. Last night it took me 3 hours to get her to sleep and then she was awake every two hours until 4am when she decided it was morning and there would be no more rest for anyone! She's quite happy sleeping on me or DH, and she can be in a really deep sleep only to be miraculously wide awake the minute she hits the cot mattress. This has beern pretty much the case for the last week and i know it could go on and on...
Okay, to cut a long one short - how have other mnetters dealt with this? If i go back to keeping DD downstairs with us - to let her get some decent sleep in while i reclaim some of my evening - am i making a rod for my own back once things start to calm down a bit? Is DD likely to fall back into her previous pattern when she feels better or do i need to keep up the routine? It's just soul-destroying spending hours on end trying to soothe and settle her when it's obvious she's tired but she just can't sleep

OP posts:

Nbg · 03/05/2008 14:11

Will watch this thread as my nearly 5 month old is doing this.

Original poster

duellingfanjos · 03/05/2008 19:07

bump

OP posts:

VacantlyPretty · 03/05/2008 19:17

Message withdrawn

Original poster

duellingfanjos · 03/05/2008 20:14

You have my sympathies Nbg!
It's encouraging to hear that you've been able to get back into the routine again VP. Have decided to go for the downstairs option tonight as spent most of last night in tears of tiredness/frustration and feel it will do us all good to just go with the flow.
Will also stop me doing the pfb thing and spending my evenings with the monitor glued to my ear while dd sleeps upstairs!
Fingers crossed for a better night...

OP posts:

MamaMaiasaura · 03/05/2008 21:46

thanks for this thread. Ds2 is now 18 weeks and is going through the whole growth spurt thing. Been perservering but completely knackered. Am excl bfing and co-sleeping but he been waking up every 2-3 hours ater going through for 8 hours at a time (sometimes 10 hours!) Feels like have a newborn again. He is asleep now (yay) but i now feel happier reading this in bringing him down if not settling and trying routine again when he is out of this phase.

notnowbernard · 03/05/2008 21:52

What is it about 4m?

Both dd's became truly crap sleepers at around this age, having done quite well beforehand (dd2 was a dream)

Good luck to you all, I'm now back in the 'sleeping through the night' realm

Original poster

duellingfanjos · 04/05/2008 10:27

Hi Awen, hope your night wasn't too bad. We went for a triple-whammy last night of new blackout linings in our bedroom, a dose of Calpol and keeping DD dozing downstairs with us til I went to bed at about 945 (rather different from Saturday nihgts of old!!)

She feeds for about 45 mins so by the time she was in her cot it was 1030. Miracle of miracles, she slept til 4 and again til 7, finally getting up at 9! Not sure if this was just a fluke, but she definitely needed the sleep after all the broken nights lately.

Only thing is, I don't want to keep giving her Calpol every night, so we'll have to hope that the other two factors keep working for us. I'm sure that the fact that both of us were far less stressed having not gone through 'settling hell' for 3 hours made a difference so I'm resolved for the time being to relax and not push the routine as it doesn't seem to be helping.

Notnowbernard, how long did this phase last for your dd's? Keep telling myself 'this too shall pass' but would be nice to think it won't last months!

OP posts:

dividedself · 04/05/2008 10:29

I say be firm and consistent and she will get there in the end. he alternative is to make the best of it by bringing her down for now for short term gain. You need to decide whether your focus is going to be short or long term and stick with what you decide

Original poster

duellingfanjos · 04/05/2008 10:38

Thanks dividedself. This was my attitude at the start but i find it so hard to see long term after a couple of sleepless nights, in fact it's difficult to think beyond the next night's sleep (or lack of). I think i'm going to go for a kind of compromise where we keep bathtime, cuddles and feed as they were, but the sleep part happens downstairs rather than in the cot until we all go to bed. I suppose she's still so young that there will be plenty of time to get back into the routine.

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dividedself · 04/05/2008 10:56

I totally sympathise. The way I look at it when parents are unsure (I 'sleep train') is that your baby is ready when you are. So,they may be 4 months old and indeed a young baby but as a parent you might be on your knees so you have to do something right?! Equally, you may feel you can cope with the short term approach for now because you are not at the point where you cannot go on with these tit bits of sleep/time to yourself. The many methods of sleep training can be employed at any time when you as a family are ready- 'bad' patterns are only bad if you are unhappy and they certainly aren't irreversible.

notnowbernard · 04/05/2008 11:07

Did CC with dd1 at 6m (just before I went back to work. She was waking every 1-2 hrs and I do long days and just COULD NOT face it!) She was sleeping through after 6 nights

DD2, different kettle of fish entirely. Attempted CC at 6m but she had a will of iron and WOULD NOT GIVE IN!!

Didn't sleep through reliably until about 10m or so, IIRC

MamaMaiasaura · 04/05/2008 13:29

Woohoo - he slept fom 9 till 5 hope this is on the way up!

MamaMaiasaura · 04/05/2008 13:29

Oh and btw wasnt firm and consistent but have tried to remain calm and lots of soothing.

zulubump · 04/05/2008 19:50

For my dd her sleep went belly up at 5 months and she is now 7 months and tons better. Before the 5month wobble she would reliably sleep 10pm to 7/8am which was great and naps happened pretty much whenever. At 5months she started to want to sleep much earlier in the evening, but was so unsettled - lots of evening crying, wouldn't sleep unless someone held her etc. DH and I would spend each evening taking turns to hold her in a semi-darkened room while the other ate dinner! I had moments of thinking I'd have to do cc, but she'd get in such a state if left for a short time that I couldn't contemplate doing it fully.

She has gradually settled down and has now got pretty good at settling herself to sleep. She sleeps in cot from about 7pm and comes in with us later in night if she's unsettled. I guess I couldn't have stuck with the routine she had when she was younger and sleeping well because it wouldn't work for her now. I've gradually tweaked things like bath time and mealtimes to what seems to work best and am now trying to stick with that. I feel like as the weeks are going by her sleep is getting better. I didn't do anything special, just tried to adjust when she was fed and bathed to when suited her and hoped for the best. Hope things work out for you guys too.

Naetha · 04/05/2008 20:36

This may be a little contraversial at 4 months (goes against current guidance etc) but my DS was waking every 3 hours until 3am, when he'd wake every 20/30 minutes until I'd give in around 5:30. I started him on solids two days ago, and have since had two nights decent sleep. The first night he slept from 7-11-3-6:30 (unheard of for him!) and last night he slept from 7 - 2:30 and 3 - 6:30.

I know this isn't usually the case for everyone, but it worked for me

IAteRosemaryConleyForBreakfast · 04/05/2008 20:44

Naetha, my mate could have written your post - she was desperate for sleep, and for the first few nights she thought she'd cracked it with the old baby rice trick. Except a fortnight later he was waking up more often than he did before, and didn't start to sleep better for a good 3 or 4 months after that.

duellingfanjos (top name btw) - from a seasoned sleepless one, just Do Whatever It Takes To Get Through It.

4 months is an absolutely classic sleep regression time - combination of developmental changes and growth spurts and teething leads to crappy sleep. You're not forming habits, honestly. You'll look back when she's 8 months and realise just how little she will be taking on board from your bedtime routine. I think you're doing absolutely the right thing - as far as sleep goes, I reckon if it's causing stress and struggles then it's not the right thing to do. Any sort of battle isn't conducive to relaxation and sleep, and it only leads to you both getting more tired and frustrated, which will end in tears (trust me, I've shed plenty over it!).

Hope things settle down soon for you

MamaMaiasaura · 04/05/2008 21:47

Totally agree with IAteRosemarys post. Ds2 is now asleep in bed again (2nd night in row). Have tried not to get stressed and just followed his cues as much as possible. Tow nights ago I was actually starting to think maybe he really does need solids, maybe my breast milk is crap etc etc and was in tears with utter exhaustion. Thankfully my dp chivvied me along (bless him) and I also know deep down this is a phase (one of many lol).

Anyway, looks like there may be light after al. Last night he went from 9-5 (yay ) and am keeping fingers crossed for tonight.

Original poster

duellingfanjos · 05/05/2008 10:10

where in the country are you Awen? Would you like to come and settle dd for me?! Sounds as though you have a magic touch

Naetha glad that's working for you but i am resolved to wait until six months at the earliest to introduce solids. I have also heard from friends who tried this that they got more sleep initially but that eventually things returned to the way they were.

IAteRosemary i think you're so right. I only started putting her in her cot early because she was telling me she was ready for it, and now she's telling me something different so i need to just listen! Kept her with us again last night and things have been so much calmer resulting in more sleep all round. Looks like this is the way forward for us

OP posts:

smallwhitecat · 05/05/2008 10:23

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

MamaMaiasaura · 05/05/2008 22:02

lol whitecat - it sure is

Ds2 had a reasonable night last night again, slept till 3am and then till 8am.

Tonight he was wide awake after bedtime feed, though he was asleep and as i inched away his eyes snapped open and he started chattering away. Ended up bringing downstairs and he has only just settled back to sleep after another long feed. Never know he might sleep till 5am lol. This will all go tits up wednesday night as imms then. Also still co-sleeping. Is lovely

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