12 month old still wakes multiple times a night

[BWHouse]

This is my first time posting on anything like this in absolute desperation that someone might have some advice.
my 12 month old has only ever slept through until 5am once in his whole like and consistently wakes multiple times in the night.

He is the happiest baby in the day, really content, happy to play by himself, occupy himself and really chilled out.

He always wakes early, between 4:30/5:30 so is still on two naps, he can happily put himself to sleep for his naps and even sometimes if he wakes up during his naps he’ll put himself back to sleep.

when he wakes in the night he is often so inconsolable the only thing I can do to stop him screaming is breastfeed him. He will regularly be up screaming for 2+ hours often between 3-5 then he’ll sleep from 5-6:30 then wake up for the day.

I can’t let him cry it out because he’s my second and he often wakes up my toddler who then gets upset and I end up with two kids awake in the middle of the night.

we have tried offering water instead of milk to stop the feeding during the night tried just shhing and not picking him up; we’ve taken him to an osteopath

I’m at a complete loss as to what to do.

It's perfectly normal for a 12 month old not to sleep through the night.

Does he actually want the breastmilk or is he comforting himself? Do you use a dummy?

I agree that it’s normal for a 12 month old to not sleep through the night, but I feel your pain on the inconsolable screaming. My 2nd is 11 months and is an awful sleeper and is inconsolable at least once a night too. I wish breastfeeding him would stop it but it doesn’t - he will scream and push me away if I hold him, rock him, try to feed him. I put him down and he screams more. I often end up taking him to the bathroom and putting his hands under the tap to snap him out of it!
So I don’t have loads of ideas but what I do have is:
-if he will take the breastfeed and it settles him, I’d personally just do that for an easier life. If you want to night wean then fair enough but you probably need to commit and do it as rolling it out sometimes might not help
-have you tried magnesium? I’ve just ordered some to try with him as apparently if they’re deficient it can affect sleep, so I figured worth a shot
-I think mine might be reflux affected. He was a very sicky baby but I never put him on anything as didn’t want to mess with his tum. But I hear gurgles in his throat when I’m holding him after a feed, he only sleeps on his front and as a newborn would never be put down at all for the first 3 months or so. So I wonder if the screaming is because he’s been asleep laying down and the reflux is hurting him. I’m making a gp appt to discuss trialling gaviscon
-have you looked at changing day sleep? How much does he have? I have also wondered if the screaming fits with mine are overtiredness because he will only nap for 30 mins in the day. I’ve tried everything but he just won’t sleep more. But equally if yours is having 2 long naps then being up a lot at night could be because of low sleep pressure? 12 months is right in the range to drop to 1 nap.
Sorry if none of that fits but it’s my entire brain dump of what could be wrong with mine haha! I’m not expecting him to sleep through the night soon, but I would just like to stop the inconsolable screaming and pushing me away.
Btw - we have a decent white noise machine for my toddler on her bedside table so 9 times out of 10 he doesn’t wake her up.

Ah I feel your pain, the inconsolable screaming is horrendous. To be fair even sometimes the feed doesn’t work, he’s definitely not hungry all the time. The other night he fed but then was just wide awake.

I have tried doing one nap today to see how he goes. The issue I have is he wakes so early that he’s ready for a nap by 9 so we’re in a bit of a viscous cycle of two naps.

I have tried the magnesium spray and the butter balm you can put on their feet, I hate to say it didn’t make much difference.

he was also a sicky baby as well and we tried gaviscon and the prescription anti acids but that didn’t help either.

He also won’t take a dummy 🤦🏼‍♀️ hasn’t from day one just always refused.

Will definitely look at getting a white noise machine for my toddler again; we’ve been meaning to do that for a while now.

really hope sleep for you gets better as well.

A 9am nap is fine, just wake him after 45mins. Then at 12/12.30 put him down and let him sleep as long as he wants.

Is he fed to sleep at bedtime?