I’m at breaking point now. 27 months old, still breastfeeds, very clingy, goes to a childminder twice a week, still naps most days at lunchtime (around 1 hour 15mins max, often less). Sleeps in a large cot bed side carred to our bed in our room. He wakes all through the night, often hourly. Will not accept DH comforting him in the night whatsoever. Screams. Sometimes is fed back to sleep, most of the time he just sits up crying and seems really agitated so I lie him back down and he goes back to sleep but then often he’s doing the same a few mins later. It’s like he’s in pain or something but it’s been going on 2 years. He has all his teeth. He is a really restless sleeper, ends up in strange positions in his cot and flails about all over the place in his sleep and murmuring. It’s like he can never go into a deep sleep and is always on the brink of waking. He didn’t actually sleep too bad until the 4 month regression and he’s been like this ever since.
As a side note - he has a heart condition and is having surgery next year. This has always put me off any sleep training that would involve crying, his lips can go blue when he’s upset and his paediatrician advised against this when I queried sleep training with him.
As background, from 8-16 months we did have an 8 month stint where he slept in his cot bed in his own room. I would go in there around twice a night to feed him because that’s the only times he woke. This was manageable at the time. However when he was 16 months he developed awful separation anxiety and would scream the house down in his cot. He also started to wake numerous times per night and the going back and forth, lying on his bedroom floor etc became too much and that’s when he moved his cot into our room and he’s been here ever since but his sleep is still horrific. I’ve tried actually having him sleep on our mattress next to me but he still wakes up just as much.
He now has a floor bed in his own room and this year I’m determined to improve things and get him back in there but I’m lost. How do I do this? I’m assuming night weaning him or stopping breastfeeding altogether is one of the answers but what terrifies me is stopping feeding him but it makes no different to how much he wakes and then I lose the only tool I’ve got to get him back to sleep quickly. Often when he’s waking in the night he refuses the milk anyway.
Any advice greatly appreciated.