Co-sleeping Moms

[firsttimemom2024]

I’m a first time mom and my LO is 8 months old. We currently co sleep and my partner sleeps separately in the spare room. I’m debating whether to transition to my baby’s own bedroom now (without me) and I’m also receiving pressure from my partner to do this. My LO currently still wakes during the night and still has a couple of feeds(breastfed). At what age did you do this and did this help baby sleep better at night? We have tried settling my LO in a cot next to me but they seem quite unsettled both to start with and during the night and I end up bringing them into the bed with me.

I would never expect my husband to sleep in the spare room.
And all my babies were in their own room, in their cot, from six months.
Until then, their cot was in our bedroom.
My husband and I slept in the actual bed.

My partner sleeps in the spare room as this gets him a better nights sleep, the pressure from him is because he thinks our LO will sleep better on their own so I just wanted to gather other co sleeping moms experience on this.

We used to put dtds down at their bedtime then at their 4am feed they’d come in with us, as a compromise. Worked for us as once dtds slept through they were in their own beds.

Thank you for this, this is what we are starting to do. At what age did they start to sleep through?

If you’re still breastfeeding co-sleeping is much easier tbh, you’ll be wide awake getting up and going in and out of other rooms! Mine were way older 🤣

This is my thoughts and arguments exactly 🤣 also feels so much more natural to me!

DS went into his own room at 10 months. I'd give him a bed time feed at 7pm he'd then stir for a feed at around 11 ish just as we were settling in bed but not yet asleep so I'd feed in his room. He'd then stir again at about 3/4 ish and come in with us until get up.

I honestly can’t remember - dtds are now 13 and I had a toddler too so it’s all a blur.

dd1 couldn’t co sleep as she was all limbs and flailed around. Dtds were still snuggled babies so easy to sleep with. If dh snores I’ve been known to go in with dtd2 because she’s fab to sleep with 😂

I've just always put the kids in their own bed at the start of the night and then brought them in with me when I go to bed. When they are old enough to find me on their own (between 2 and 3 maybe) then I have stopped putting them in my bed and let them come to me when they naturally wake instead.

My husband has always slept in the same bed. First child slept between us and with the second one we added a side cot and persevered with that (as we still had older one climbing in between us and couldn't have them sleeping next to each other when the younger one was little).

Now they are 3 and 7 and they start the night in their own beds and both still climb in either side of me at some point in the early hours. We bought a bigger bed to accommodate this but I still wake up quite hot sometimes!

Probably not the answer you are hoping for, but we don't have any intention of kicking either of them out of bed if they still like coming in with us.

So if you didn’t co-sleep so why comment? Why try make @firsttimemom2024 feel bad? She’s parenting differently to you and sounds like different priorities which is fine. How you choose to feed your baby will also play a role in sleeping arrangements - were you ebf?

@firsttimemom2024 look up floor beds and Lynsey hookway, there’s lots of options for sleep and you’ll find the right one for your family - it’s not necessarily all or nothing. Some people start off in one bed and go into another after first feed, some co-sleep for years, some never do, some use sidecar cots/mattress beside main bed, lots to consider.

Why even open a post asking for advice from co-sleeping mothers when you aren’t one? Let alone proceed to post judgey comments…

Agree re. floorbeds. Mine went in one after they were 12 months. Could go in to breastfeed and then roll away. They slept great in it. My first child hated his cot so much, and it was so hard to settle him in it, we didn't even try and use it the 2nd time around.

Being woken a few times a night is not easy! Breastfeeding gives us sleepy hormones so we get back to sleep quickly but that doesn’t work if you’ve got to get out of bed! As mine got older they would just latch on and I’d kinda doze which meant I could function the next day! They both night weaned and sleep through the night although often pop into bed for a snuggle at various points of the night which is fine with us.

you do need to maximise sleep through - it’s essential!

I co slept and my partner also slept in the spare room!
At around 9/10 months we got an ikea cot bed, we already had a regular bed in little one’s room so pushed the cot upto the bed with a side down and I slept in there with him. He was pretty much still next to me but also got him used to the cot. Then eventually I put the side up and then when he was settled with that I started the night in the other room but if he woke moved us both into the bed in his room as it was the quickest way to settle him and get back to sleep! I still do that now if he’s having a bad night or unwell. A bit longwinded but we had a rough time with sleep so I didn’t want to change anything too suddenly!
I wouldn’t say it changed his sleep much straight away though.

I started co-sleeping with my eldest when they were 8 months, and would just scream and scream if put in a cot. We lived in a tiny flat so they came in bed with me and DH - probably not recommended, so obviously avoid if this is the case!

When we moved to a bigger place, they were just over one and we bought a low small double. Would get them to sleep in there and then go to bed in our own room. One of us would invariably join them when they woke in the night.

When the youngest was born, I co-slept from much earlier (after realising how much easier it was than getting up and going to the living room to feed, like I’d done with the eldest). They would go in the next-to-me cot for the first part of the night and DH and I could share a bed, then he would go in spare room after first wake.

Now, eldest has a normal double bed and youngest has the low small double. They go to bed in their own rooms but often come to our bed in the night or we might snuggle in with them.

Lots of people would probably think this is mad (my mum is very vocal on it) - but we don’t care, because it works well for all of us.