Baby at night time

[Victoriaspongecake1]

I need some advice and feel like this is the best place to come.

i had DS 19 days ago and he’s very good at feeds and sleep during the day. He will feed every 3 hours and sleep well in my arms, in his jungle gym or in the furry bean bags we have however when it comes to bed time I can only get 1 hour maybe 2 out of him when he sleeps in his next to me cot. It is killing me. He will sleep longer if I hold him however I am absolutely shattered and cannot keep this up. He won’t do a full feed (anything between 4-6oz) as he will fall asleep during the feed and then wake up and want feeding again within 2 hours.

he wears a little sleep bag so he is warm. I have tried putting the sleepyhead in the next to me so he is more snuggled as that’s what helped my DD when she was little. I’ve tried without the sleepyhead in the cot. How can I get him to sleep longer in the next to me? When I say longer I mean 3 hours. Why does he sleep better during the day than at night? I am so exhausted.

my partner takes him and my DD downstairs in the morning so I am able to catch up on sleep however he is going back to work soon and I’m starting to panic and fret about how I’m going to survive the days when he’s at work & I have both children on my own when I’ve been up all night?

can somebody please give me advice so I don’t go completely insane with no sleep

Hey lovely. We’re also there with a 6week old but 19 days is really early and they won’t take that much feed in one go at that time ours takes at least an hour to do that and more in smaller chunks. Also 3hours is quite unrealistic. The sleepyhead is advised anymore for non day time naps where you’re watching then due to the SIDS risk.

Can you partner help so he say does until 1am and you go down and get a chunk from day 8-1am and that’s not unreasonable for him to then go to work having slept from 1am

You just need to roll with it, he's a tiny baby and that's what they do. Are you caring for dd during the day too? Your dp should also help at night. Yes if you're on mat leave you might take most of it but he can do some.

And sorry to say it, but sleepyhead and furry beanbag is probably not a safe place for the baby to sleep unattended.

Do you have family members or friends who could come in the day and watch him so you can nap?

I do know it's hard, dd barely slept 2 hours at a stretch for months and months. But there's no magic wand.

Congratulations on your baby.

He's totally normal and is yet to learn day from night as he's been inside you for 9 months. Added to that due to it being winter with short days it's hard for people in general to work out day from night without a clock so he's got no chance.

He also has a teeny tiny stomach so has to eat every couple of hours. So is unable to sleep through as he's frequently hungry.

As the PPs said do shifts with your DP this includes even when your DP goes back to work. This is unless your DP has a driving or aviation job.

At this point in their lives, they don't understand the difference between day and night. Exposing him to lots of sunlight during the day, walks / fresh air etc, will help him to learn.

In the meantime, start doing split shifts with your DH. You go to bed at 8pm and sleep until say 1am, whilst DH has the baby. Then DH sleeps 1am-7am whilst you look after baby. Then swap back etc. Keep trying to put baby down in the next2me as much as you can so you still get some sleep in that 1-7am block. Try a swaddle bag if you are using a sleep sack and play white noise as well. You can also try doing naps in the next2me as well as if he sleeps for 1hr in the day in there, you might also be able to grab an hours nap or rest in bed.

I'm not sure what a furry bean bag is but it doesn't sound like a safe sleep space to me? Have you looked up Lullaby Trust advice? We had a moses basket downstairs and a clear next2me upstairs.

This is perfectly normal for a new baby. Your expectations are way off. We used to go to bed at 7pm when the baby went down. We alternated who got up to feed our baby during the night. A furry bean bag is in no way a safe place for a baby to sleep.