My child (20) back for Xmas stays up all night and sleep all day

[JuliaRed]

I can't stand it.
I need to sleep.

I don't know how this sleep pattern has emerged at uni
She misses classes
Sleeps all day, up all night..

I sleep so lightly that her moving around, going down to make food wakes me up and then I can't go back to sleep

I want her being back to be positive and lovely but I'm hating this sleep situation..
I've tried to be firm and say NO
I have got upset tonight and shouted.

She needs to go to GP
It's madness.

Sounds frustrating. Is she depressed? Does she go out, see friends?

She does have lots of friends and goes out to meet them.

She could be depressed. She has certainly got a dramatic life with boyfriends. She smokes since 15 which I think adds to miserable mindset.

I think she hates this pattern but won't work to fix it. She's lazy from the outside...but it could be undiagnosed ADHD as I have it. I appreciate it's hard to switch off at night. I advise her on how to tackle it. Exercise. Lots of it. No phones in bed. Routine.

Hence why I need to sleep between 11-7.

But nothing is sinking in. She isn't just staying up a bit late. It's all night. She's awake now in her room watching TV eating a massive plate of food. Then she will sleep until 5pm.

I could cry. But I'm just exhausted.

She doesn't need to take up a gp appointment. She isn't making any attempt to get out of the routine which is fair enough for her she is an adult, but definitely not OK to keep you awake.
Get yourself some ear plugs and put in place some house rules. No cooking at night, no eating upstairs, headphones for all devices. No friends over after 11pm got example

She's at uni I presume and in her second or third year? How has her missing classes affected this?
While staying up late is a bad habit this is obviously now impacting others (you) and her life (uni). Not much you can do, but perhaps sit her down and say how much you'd hope to do a few things together but that doesn't seem possible with her schedule. Also ask her how uni is going? She may need some support so ask gently.

When is she going back to Uni?

your house so you can say

no cooking after x.
no TV/screen/music without decent head phones.

ask her to respect your need for sleep so to stay in her room overnight (unless for bathroom etc)I'm currently in an awake all night phase, then very tired & napping a lot in the day phase.

i exercise, I eat properly, I try not to nap in the day, I try to have a regular bedtime, but my body doesn't agree. It is just not interested in complying. I'm staying at a friends at the moment & that usually helps me reset it, because I'm forced to just lie quietly in bed at
might & their snoring usually helps my body breathe in a sleep pattern, but it's only helped on night, which was fantastic, but there's not been enough snoring!!

it's crap, but consider it's crap for her too, she's not likely to be doing it just to piss you off.

shouting, judgement, nagging will not help, it'll just cause more anxiety.

This wouldn't be ok for me either. I want to be asleep at 11pm thanks very much.

What does she say about the keeping you awake, and the missing classes?

maybe she has non-24 sleep disorder?

Thanks for good ideas and thoughts.
I need to be more tough on it but she's quite feisty and I hate conflict.

She wings it through uni because she clever but I would like her to enjoy the classes and go.

She does try to creep around...unless drunk ..but I am sick a light sleeper that doesn't help..

My dc did this and still do, and so did their dad and nan.

I have no idea how to stop it although I've read research about ADHD meds being useful, and also Benadryl, although I'm not recommending that, it's just something I remember.

Anyway, just wanted to give you some sympathy and solidarity, it's rubbish.

It's not up to you to tell her when she should be asleep or awake and it's irrelevant that you'd like her to go to classes. It doesn't even sound as though you think theres anything wrong with her just that she's not living her life the way you want her to.

It is your house so you can absolutely tell her how you want her to behave re. noise and moving around but you can't insist she is in bed between 11pm and 7am.

She just be back at uni soon.

Thank you, I really appreciate it I feel quite alone at the moment. Kids all older and either at uni or out at friends. I have early nights, they want all nights!

I'll look into the idea of suggesting ADHD meds. I do think she has it actually, I do too I think. I think it's why routine is very important to me because once I'm woken up boom my mind is full of busy thoughts and I'm completely up.

I do think there is something wrong with her as she says she hates this nocturnal sleeping all day routine and it makes her depressed. So it's not just her sort of chilling and being different to my routine.
I don't tell her how to live her life at uni. Wanting her to do her classes is mainly because they cost so much and she will regret later not making the most of it.

Try a fan in your room for white noise, I had to I actually love having the fan in my room now