Help! Baby still waking every two hours

[Aurora24]

My baby is 8 months old and it seems ever since he has reached this age his sleep has deteriorated.

He now seems to wake every two hours, and the only way he will settle if is I pick him up, feed him a bottle, put his dummy in, wait ten minutes for him to fall asleep in my arms and then put him down.

For context he sleeps in his next to me crib next to our bed, he goes to sleep in my arms in the living room at around 7pm. I then take him up at 10pm, change him, feed him, put him in his next to me crib.

When he wakes I really don't think he is hungry, he sucks on the bottles a few times, but a 4oz bottle lasts us the night even with him waking up 3/4 times a night.

The broken sleep is really exhausting me, especially as I'm also 3 months pregnant!

Any advice/suggestions, I'm open to it.

My understanding is that waking every 2 hours is considered normal in babies. Worth considering if there are any signs that could point to something concerning e.g. mouth breathing or snoring, extreme restlessness when sleeping? Sometimes there can get underlying medical reasons.

What is his usual schedule sleep-wise for naps + overnight? Sometimes adjusting that a little can help.

If he’s 8 months why is he going to sleep in your arms downstairs and staying there until 10pm? That may be the problem as he’s used to going to sleep and being held by you so when he wakes in the night he intensely settling and is in his cot.

@angelpie33 to be honest nap schedule changes every day as he wakes up at different times. Sometimes he wakes at 6, sometimes 7. At the moment he can usually stay awake for 3 hours before needing a nap and he will then usually nap for 2/3 hours during the whole day. I do think we may be starting to transition to two naps. Yesterday he woke at 7, went to nap at 11 and was asleep for 2.5 hours and then had a 30 minute nap at 4:30pm, then to bed at 7.

Have you tried him in his own room? This helped my little one sleep better when he was a similar age

@Overthebow honestly just because when we tried putting him to bed in his next to me at 7pm it took him ages to settle and then he would just keep stirring until 10pm so I had to stay upstairs with him of an evening so I could keep settling him. I mean you are right he shouldn't be sleeping in my arms downstairs so I will start putting him in his next to me at 7pm even if I have to stay up there. I mean really I wanted to start putting him in his big cot in his own room But I see that being disastrous.

I think you need to

• put in cot in own room
• get him to sleep at 7pm upstairs
• have routine for day naps (he could be sleeping too long & too late in the afternoon)
• sleeping bag to make sure he's warm enough

Mine rarely woke up in the night but if they did I kept room dark & didn't give them much attention. That way it was obvious to them it was night time. They shouldn't need bottle at night if they are getting enough food during day.

It may take some work getting him into his own room as he’s now used to going to sleep on you and being held, but it could be that you’re waking him up during the night and he’s not learning to self settle so it might be worth the effort. Also he really shouldn’t be in a next to me at 8 months as it’s dangerous when they can sit up and then start to pull up.

@YellowGoldie no I haven't tried yet because he is waking up so much but maybe this is the key so I'll try that but I think I need to get a comfy chair first as it may be a long night in the nursery 🤣

@converseandjeans thank you, those are all good suggestions so yes I've got a lot of things to work on 😅

Agree with this!

@Overthebow yes I think you are right I will have to put the effort in but it's something I'm going to have to do at some point anyway so I think I'm just going to have to accept it might be a few hard nights. Little one can't yet pull himself up or get from lying to sitting and is a smaller baby so it's the only reason really we've been able to keep him in his next to me. But I wanted to get him in his cot in his own room in the new year

I put it off for the same reason till my LO was 9 months but I wish I hadn’t because it did really help! It wasn’t a magic bullet and he did still wake up but it got significantly better. Good luck!

Ah okay @Aurora24 , first thing I would do is implement a fixed wake-up time for every day. This can help to regulate the circadian rhythm.

You may also find an improvement in overnight sleep once he transitions to 2 naps, I definitely experienced that. But any change may take a couple of weeks to show impact on overnight sleep.

He needs to go to sleep how he’s going to stay asleep. Transferring works when they’re tiny but then they become more aware and I don’t think you can blame them for stirring when they realise they’re somewhere totally different to where they fell asleep- you’d be the same if it happened to you! So if you want him to sleep in a cot by himself then he needs to go into it awake. If you want to stick with cuddling to sleep then safely cosleep. Either are fine just no moving him around once asleep. Also though, unless it’s a next to me forever on the age appropriate setting (if it is ignore me!) then you need to stop using the bedside sleeper. They can be really dangerous because an 8 month old could fall out if they sit up or pull to stand in it.

Little one can't yet pull himself up or get from lying to sitting and is a smaller baby so it's the only reason really we've been able to keep him in his next to me
Very common for the first time they try a new skill to be in the cot, something to do with how sleep helps their brain development I think. There’s a 6 month age limit on bedsides sleepers for a very good reason and just because he hasn’t done something yet doesn’t mean he won’t overnight. The first time my babies both pulled to stand I found them like that in the cot in the morning, both were 8 months old, and in the case of my DD she was small, wasn’t crawling and wasn’t massively active so there was zero indication it was coming. If you want to keep baby in your room until you’ve cracked the sleeping, the big cot won’t fit and you don’t fancy cosleeping then use a travel cot.

My baby is 8 months and he’s loads better in his own room, we were disturbing him in the next to me. I would start by regimenting naps a little bit, he has 1 morning and 1 afternoon both between 1 - 2 hours but sleeps no later than 4pm. Bath, bottle and bed at 6.30pm. He will self settle but you might need to work on this!

When baby wakes in the night have you tried just ignoring to see if he goes back to sleep? You might be surprised.

@Aurora24 my baby is tiny as well he’s on the 1st centile! But he loves his big cot. He has loads of room to move around in there.

Check out Lyndsey Hookway for approaches to moving baby into their own sleeping space. Really helpful and realistic, may take a while but helps with expectations, it may not be a quick process.

I remember 8 months being pretty hard for wake ups so I don't think this is anything you are doing, it is just normal and will pass and change.

I think the whole putting them down awake in their cot to make sure they sleep through just doesn't work for some babies (many babies just wake during the night and it's got nothing to do with how they've been put to sleep, or being hungry etc they just want and need comfort). Mine would never settle on his own in his cot, so we always fed/rocked/cuddled to sleep and transferred, and he started sleeping through the night and eventually being able to settle himself on his own in this way. You don't have to do anything and you/baby will get there, but obviously depends on your circumstances as to whether you want and need to implement something (partner doing their part, work, lifestyle and of course pregnancy! etc). Just putting it out there as an option because trying to change things when your baby doesn't work like that can be just as or even more exhausting and anxiety inducing in my experience!