Sleep training

[Murmum]

Looking for advice/tips for sleep training.
Baby now 17 weeks old, sickness and 12&16 week jabs and a 4 night hospital stint (all within the last 5 weeks) has led to absolute carnage when it comes to sleep.
Surviving on very little right now, and as tired as I am as a mum, I'm sure my son is also exhausted.
I've tried the whole putting them down drowsy but awake, it doesn't wash with this little one.
Every bedtime is spent rocking and hushing and shushing and swaying till they fall asleep. Usually to wake up an hour later and repeat, and repeat again the next hour and so on.
If he slept ok in our bed I would even take that, but he doesn't.

You're not supposed to sleep train til 6 months. And your little one is probably going through the 4 month sleep regression so that's definitely not going to help. Totally get it, mine was rocked to sleep til he was 1 because he refused to be put down drowsy. He goes down awake now and just rolls around babbling to himself until he drops off. Hopefully this bumps you so you can get some advice from people who have actually sleep trained

Sleep training Is cruel on children and parents, don't do it

Best comment we had from a friend who had hers young was "you're going under for 9 more months". Stop fighting it .

Yes, wasn't going to do anything till 6 months. Was just interested did anyone have any advice until that point.
I actually sleep trained my first child at 9 months, it wasn't cruel or harsh, I certainly did not let her cry it out and let her cry herself into a state of exhaustion. It was the best thing for all of us. A child that slept well, and parents that slept well, making them better parents who are actually able to function.
Sleep deprivation can cause you to have some really intrusive thoughts

To help with your sleep deprivation whilst you’re in the pits do you have someone that can help so you can get a decent stint of sleep in/long lie in?

My husband is very good, but it's hard for him working too, and we've a 3.5 year old who's at home with me too.
Alas I'm not the only one, some are in much more difficult positions I know.
I'm hoping it is the 4 month regression, at least there will be an end.

Regardless of other people positions, you are obviously struggling so how you feel is valid.
yes a regression will end, but knowing that doesn’t necessarily help with the here and now.
Hope you manage to get some sleep in and little on goes longer stretches!

When ours went through the 4 month sleep regression, it didn't end. After 10 weeks, at age 6.5 months, we sleep trained her. I was determined to wait until at least 6 months. I was on the cusp of being given antidepressants but we decided that a few days of trying sleep training was better than months or years of a chronically depressed and medicated mum. And we were right, within a few minutes on night one she was asleep, and it was quicker every night until around night 5 when she just went straight to sleep. You say you've sleep trained before so am not sure what advice you are looking for but i feel for you and i really hope the regression passes naturally in your little one, i gather it is usually 2 - 6 weeks so fingers crossed it ends for you soon! !

I think I'm at that point as well (of ending up on antidepressants) I had PND with my first child, so I'm very self aware of how those feelings creep in.
Last night was another shit show, literally awake every hour.
I don't really know what kind of advice I'm after either. Maybe I just need to vent. Or see that there's a light at the end of this '4 month regression' - I never remember it being this bad with my daughter.
We weaned him from 13weeks (on the advice of our Health Visitor) but he still takes about 3 bottles during the night too. I don't even know if this is normal or habit,

Is your son sleeping in his own cot? Could co-sleeping be an option?

He's in a next to me cot beside our bed, although every night around midnight he ends up in our bed.

We kept feeding ours during the regression to try to get her back to sleep and it usually worked but then she would wake up 25 - 45 minutes later. We moved over to formula then as i was back at work and needed to share the night wakes and feeds, but there is only so much formula you can give them so it didn't work as she was waking 8 times a night! So we went for the method where you leave them for 2 minutes then go back to comfort them if they cry. Same again, but 2.5 minutes. Continuing until you reach 5 minutes, then keep going back after 5 minutes. But she never, ever stayed awake longer enough to get to 5 minutes, even on night 1 she cried for a total of 12 minutes then less each night. I guess go on for breakfast long as you can manage and then try whatever method worked with your first child. And feel free to vent, it was a pure hell! Xx

I meant go on for as long as you can manage - my phone autocorrected to say breakfast!