Advice/help and reassurance! 13 month old

[2023baby]

Our baby still hasn’t 'slept through’

Baby has had at least one wake up each night since they were born! The best night sleep we’ve had was when they slept from 7-4 and then 4:30 until 6. This happened once.

All of the other nights seem to roll into one big haze of a memory where we’ve been up several times.

Im lying here typing this feeling totally responsible for the sleep mess we’re in.

We bring the baby in with us to settle when baby wakes in their cot. Baby won’t resettle by themselves and will cry until someone comes and picks baby up. Baby has never spent the whole night in their cot due to us being desperate just to take the easy option of sleeping with us so we can get some sleep.

Baby is on 2 naps a day of around 45 mins and never takes these in the cot. Always on an adult or in the pushchair. We don’t even try the cot now due to the meltdown that follows.

Baby has porridge/cereal before bedtime, so it can’t be hunger for a reason of the wake up?

Baby always cries when they wake too.

Any advice on how we can get some unbroken sleep would be amazing!

Or reassurance that it does get better in time 😞

I am afraid everything you are describing is actually completely normal and, yes it does get better with time but it can take a while.
Babies need their caregivers for a lot of different reasons at this age. Bringing the baby in with you is absolutely fine if it means you all get a bit more rest, try not to worry about it and just do what feels right.
My toddler (23 months) has barely “slept through” (she is probably on the higher needs end of the spectrum when it comes to sleep and I’m not trying to worry you!). The longest she gives us is 6-7 hours and honestly that is not every night!
Follow people like Lynsey Hookway on Instagram and Greer Kirshenbaum. They have loads of content on normalising baby sleep and care giving throughout the night. It makes you feel less alone!!

Very normal, you’re not doing anything wrong, some kids are just better sleepers than others. Do what ever works for you in terms of getting the most sleep you can.

It's so tough. I can't give you any advice but just to say it does get better! We had the same with our little one, never slept through in the first year (but didn't expect to him to really, waking up in the night is really normal). Cried on waking, wouldn't resettle himself, and we would bring him in from first wake up in the night. Never napped in his cot. It was hard but from just over a year it did start getting better - I'd say from about 14/15 months his sleep naturally started to consolidate and stretches got longer and I could settle him and put him back down in his cot in the night. He's two now and has been sleeping through for several months, has cot naps and occasionally has settled himself when he needs to. Didn't do anything, just kept responding to him as he needed. Also followed people like Lyndsey Hookway, so reassuring and helpful in normalising baby sleep. You haven't done anything wrong, but it's not to say it isn't really hard, and for me was all about setting things up so that we all had chances during the week to catch up on rest (i.e. keep life as simple as possible and don't overdo it!). It will get better, sending best wishes.

I second all of this! Lyndsey Hookway is great, I have her book Still Awake. I also read Greer's Nurture Revolution. My child is 2 and we cosleep. Stay strong, this too shall pass!