5 month old won't sleep!

[MySunnyReader]

I'm wondering whether this is normal but I'm at my wits end!. I have a 5 month old who is waking every couple of hours overnight and trying to get him to nap during the day is such a Misson, he will only sleep in the pram or car as long as its moving, as soon as you stop he is awake, he will sleep in the carrier but only if I stand and rock in a quiet room, even with all these conditions met he still will wake up after 30-45 minutes, I woundnt mind but he wakes up still tired and grumpy and stays that way until the next sleep where it is a battle again.
With night time I am currently using the chair method for bedtime, i.e gentle sleep training, sometimes it works sometimes he screams and he will not be settled in the cot, just screams and screams until he is hysterical. Feel like I'm losing my mind, is this normal? Any suggestions to make life more bearable would be greatly appreciated! Many thanks in advance

Every couple of hours overnight sounds so grim but my little boy was quite similar. And a friend’s baby was up constantly as well and wasn’t great at going down to bed. So I’m not sure this will be helpful but it might at least make you feel less alone!

As soon as the pram/car/person carrying him for a nap stopped, my little one would snap awake. The only people who ever successfully got him to nap in a cot were nursery (he started at a year old) and I think that was because they all napped more or less at the same time, so he just went along with it, but never more than about 40 mins. We had multiple night wakings until around 6 months and then it went down to one night wake -he finally started sleeping through at 13 months. And he ALWAYS woke 4am-5am for the day to begin. So even when he was only waking once overnight, he was generally up at the crack of dawn so it almost felt like a second waking. He’s only started waking 5.30-6am after turning 2 -he’s dropped all his naps now and it’s made no difference to when he gets up in the morning. Black out blinds, white noise, reassurances, keeping lights off and no TV… no impact. When he’s up, he’s up!

I think some kids just need less sleep than others. Ours has always averaged about 10 and a half hours overnight when I know a lot of guidance suggests 12 hours.

I drove myself crazy trying to follow wake windows and I now think… what was the point, it made no difference. By 13 months we were so over the night wake though because we knew he wasn’t waking from hunger so we did sleep train -Ferber method- did it one night only and that was him! Cracked it!

So no advice sadly but it will improve/come
to an end at some point. It’s so hard when you’re in the trenches though.

I’m sorry to be that person but I’m really happy when my 5m old gets up every few hours, and all her naps are contact naps (for 45mins typically). She won’t sleep or even stay in the pram or car seat, so to me it sounds pretty normal? I suppose as you say the only issue is that it clearly isn’t enough sleep for him.

You said you’re sleep training, did this issue start at the same time?

Thank you for your reply, its nice to hear similar sleep problems as so many people tell me their baby sleeps from 7pm until 7am and it makes me want to scream myself 🤣 my little one just seems to need less sleep too

Thank you for your reply, no we started the sleep training to try and sort out his naps which didn't work at all! Sorry it sounds like your having harder time than me so I really shouldn't complain

Sorry but this is completely normal I am afraid. I know it’s hard, I’ve been there (and still am there with a toddler!)
Your baby is so young and still needs a lot of support from you to fall/stay asleep. Honestly ignore all the people that pretend their babies are perfect and sleep 7-7! Don’t believe everything you read online either… drowsy but awake/wake window etc. a lot of it is nonsense and is there to stress you out, think your baby is abnormal and get you to pay someone to “fix it”.
Please have a look at Lyndsey Hookway, Greer kirschenbaum (both on Instagram) and you’ll find much more helpful (and scientifically backed) information.

My daughter didn't sleep through till 10 months. However my son was much earlier. All babies are different tho. They will eventually click and sleep through. You just have to be patient. Keep a good routine.

@Brightandbreezey Thank you, it's so nice to hear people say this rather than telling me things are wrong! I'll have a look on Instagram and ride the sleep deprivation wave until things get better!

@teatoast8 thank you, yes I need to remember to have patience with it all, just hard when sleep is lacking! This shall pass!

I’ve got a 5 month old, all what you describe is quite normal, I’ve found the huckleberry app really good as works out what time best to try and put them down for a nap/bedtime. She usually either feeds to sleep or has a cuddle and her dummy, won’t sleep unless in a dark quiet room or in the car/pram. If she’s overtired or feeling particularly unsettled then the carrier almost always works. She’s much more likely to stay settled when put her down in her sleeping bag. However she usually won’t sleep more than 35-40 minutes for naps unless I co sleep/contact nap then she’ll sleep up to a couple of hours. Sometimes is obvious she wanted to sleep for longer then will try and get her back off to sleep. She’s generally always been up for a feed every 2.5-3 hours during the night but will now sometimes go up to 6-7 hours if we’ve had a late night for whatever reason and start the night co sleeping with her. I try to keep her upright for a while after feeds else she does tend to bring up a bit of milk. She’s not our first baby so is easier for her in the sense we know this doesn’t last forever ( although challenge to fit in everything else that needs doing what with having other children but we prioritise sleep and get the essentials done) She seems happy most of the time but obviously does have some off days when she’s doesn’t want to be put down much so just accept not going to get much done those days

@LucyG43 thank you, yes I think I need to just go with the flow and maybe stop worrying/overthinking everything! So hard when you're in the sleep deprivation trenches sometimes though!

My baby (who will be one next week) was like this too! Up every 1-2 hours at night for the first 7 months, would only contact nap or nap on the move. It was torture. We eventually used a sleep consultant who taught me so much about sleep and he has slept through ever since. If I could go back in time I would ignore generic wake windows and follow my babies lead in terms of when he was ready for sleep and I would stop aiming for 12 hours overnight. Infants average somewhere between 11 & 15 hours within a 24 hour period - I've figured out my baby needs around 12.5/13 hours in total over 24 hours - so 7-7 isn't achievable for me!

Lack of sleep is hard either way, I wasn’t telling you my experience to minimise yours, if you’re exhausted it doesn’t make it easier if someone else is too! But when everyone around is telling you they’re baby is sleeping 7-7 or whatever that is so demoralising, so I think it’s useful to hear your baby isn’t an oddity! Ime very few babies actually are sleeping well all the time though. Maybe the odd few weeks here n there. I’ve found a lot of mums of older children tell me their babies slept
but talking to mums at playgroups 99% don’t seem to be sleeping in their own bed all night! So I don’t know if you forget. Mine used to be much worse for sleep and I already find myself saying it wasn’t thaaat bad.

I think the main issue is that it’s not enough sleep for him, so I’d maybe focus on your nap times, or trying to start the bedtime sleep earlier. Personally if you were getting sleep before and now he’s screaming, I’d just go back to what you were doing before for a bit and take a breather, but I appreciate that may not be practical.