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16 months of hourly wake up is it normal?

11 replies

Tiddybiddy247 · 22/12/2024 20:13

Hi I'm looking for help and possibly advice. My little one is 16 months old and has never been able to sleep alone. For the first 4 months he slept on me for every sleep. I tried and tried to get him to sleep in his side cot and Moses basket. Asked for help from health visitors and paid for lactation consultant, even the GP. They all advised co-sleeping and breastfeeding lying down throughout the night all accept the GP who advised sleep training.

Anyway we are 16 months in and he can now fall asleep in his pram and the car. He is a super light sleeper though so if I stop moving or someone speaking loudly will wake up. He's down to two naps but most days it's 1 two hours around midday and bedtime at 7/7.30 or 8 if napping later.

My problem is he wakes up every hour or the longest stretch is two hours. Needs a boob back to sleep, might only be for a couple of sucks. He hates being covered up. Moves around in his sleep until he wakes up. It's been at least 14 months of hourly wake ups. I haven't met anyone else who has a kid like it. People are really shocked. What am I doing wrong?

I try and get him to eat food but he's not a massive eater. I've tried getting him to drink cows milk. I've tried vitamins...white noise, making sure he's not too hot or too cold, Calpol... nothing works

OP posts:
BingBongBoo86 · 22/12/2024 20:22

Hey, I don’t have any answers - sorry. I just wanted to say my 1st DC was exactly the same. Waking up all the time. She used to wake at 1am for 2 hours from 14months until she was 2 years old.

I used to get the same reaction and thought I was doing it all wrong. I weaned her off the boob thinking it would help, it didn’t. She’s now 5.5 years old and still wakes up at 1am. But she did start sleeping better from 2 years plus. She also hardly ate anything and was convinced that was why she was waking.

when I had my 2nd DC, I was so worried it would be the same again. It’s not though, DD2 is such a good sleeper and I’m still breastfeeding her now at 2 years old. She sleeps through most nights. Kids are so different and have different sleep patterns.

Solidarity. I hear you and I’ve been there. It’s so hard and exhausting. You’re doing great and it will get better.

Tiddybiddy247 · 22/12/2024 21:06

BingBongBoo86 · 22/12/2024 20:22

Hey, I don’t have any answers - sorry. I just wanted to say my 1st DC was exactly the same. Waking up all the time. She used to wake at 1am for 2 hours from 14months until she was 2 years old.

I used to get the same reaction and thought I was doing it all wrong. I weaned her off the boob thinking it would help, it didn’t. She’s now 5.5 years old and still wakes up at 1am. But she did start sleeping better from 2 years plus. She also hardly ate anything and was convinced that was why she was waking.

when I had my 2nd DC, I was so worried it would be the same again. It’s not though, DD2 is such a good sleeper and I’m still breastfeeding her now at 2 years old. She sleeps through most nights. Kids are so different and have different sleep patterns.

Solidarity. I hear you and I’ve been there. It’s so hard and exhausting. You’re doing great and it will get better.

Thank you for being so kind and offering hope

OP posts:
ohchristmastreeeee · 22/12/2024 21:11

It is really tough, I’ve had two non-sleepers and truly thought there was something wrong with them or me. Sleep training would work for brief periods until they got poorly or went through a leap and back to hourly waking and needing boob to sleep. Hopefully you will get more replies that show this is just normal for some babies, but bloody hard for you! It does get better. DS from 2, DD from a bit earlier. Nothing we did differently at all. DD still woke once in the night 2-3x a week until she was 3, DS less frequently but once every couple of weeks, and periodically he still comes in with us when he’s poorly.

JustGreyTiger · 22/12/2024 21:13

Some ready brek before bed? Also go cold turkey? Let him grizzle for a bit and wait and see if he goes back to sleep. Every hour wake up is not sustainable, whether it’s normal or not. You could maybe approach a GO and ask about melatonin but I’m not sure what age that is allowed to be given.

mathanxiety · 22/12/2024 21:16

Are you not on your knees with exhaustion?

I think you need to take the advice of your GP. I'm speaking as someone who had one DC who finally slept through the night aged two and a half. I didn't realise what a gibbering wreck I was until I was able to train myself back to sleeping through without disturbance.

BastetBaby · 26/12/2024 07:47

I feel like I'm looking into my future.

No advice, sorry. But my daughter is the same, although she's only 11 months. Been like it since she was 6 months.

It's so exhausting. I don't know how we're doing it.

AlmostCutMyHairToday · 26/12/2024 08:33

I'm so sorry you're going through this, it is torture. Sounds exactly how mine was. At 16 months I ended up hiring a sleep consultant and they helped me wean him off the boob at night (he was also a terrible eater so I had put that off). It was tough for the first 2-3 days but then immediately improved. Went from waking 8 x at night, to 3 x - still not ideal but SO much better as my partner was able to settle him instead of my boob!
We could have probably tried some additional sleep training but it's so hard to gather the strength to do it when you're knackered.
He's 3.5yrs now and still wakes 1x at night, but that is totally manageable in comparison to what it was..!
Good luck, hang in there!!

Flittingaboutagain · 26/12/2024 08:47

I'm sure you do all the usual white noise, low lighting right temp stuff so I think you just have a baby that's really tuned into its survival mechanism of wanting you close. I co-slept with my second (in a side crib) from birth after struggling for 18 months with my first who was exactly as you describe then giving up and buying a bigger bed. In my experience night weaning makes no difference as they don't wake for milk, they ask for milk to try to go back to sleep. At this point all of mine start the night in their bed/cot bed and come in with me from whatever time in the night they first wake up. It is being in touching distance to me that seems to give me the best sleep as they don't wake up then!

TinyMouseTheatre · 26/12/2024 17:00

Have you tried Dr Jay Gordon's gentle night weaning method OP?

Tiddybiddy247 · 26/12/2024 20:17

TinyMouseTheatre · 26/12/2024 17:00

I haven't but I'm going to look into it when I get a moment. It's all tied up with breastfeeding I'm sure. Because for the last month all he wants to do all day is suck my boobs! I'm pretty sure it's not food. I'm definitely struggling.

For those wondering how I survive, co sleeping has saved me really because I can roll over with a boob out and sometimes maintain a sleep state as he sucks a few times and then pops back off and I'm asleep again in less than a minute. Also his dad tries to take him from 6am until 8.30 before work so I get a bit of uninterrupted sleep but if baby is feeling clingy that can go out the window very quickly.

He tends to do a longer stretch of sleep at the start of the night, the wake up start around 1am or midnight and last until 6 am.he slept from 5am to 7am once!
I'm just hoping to keep going and that something magical happens when he turns 2 lol

OP posts:
TinyMouseTheatre · 26/12/2024 20:22

My DC2 was a bit like that. I would look at the gentle night weaning method I posted but the thing that helped most was puttting her on goer own room.

She woke much less when BFing wasn't right there and only yelled once or twice a night for a feed, which was much more manageable.

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