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Original poster

I know this has recently been asked - but calling all co-sleepers

58 replies

Pinkjenny · 01/05/2008 12:19

I have accidentally found myself in the co-sleeping camp, and I'm sure you've all seen my previous posts on dd's sleep, or lack of it.

She is very unsettled in the evening, as if she is waiting for the time when I will put her in with us. I feel the co-sleeping is encouraging her evening wakings.

Have any co-sleepers had this problem? Or have your dc's gone to bed at the same time as you? Not an option for me.

OP posts:
Original poster
Pinkjenny · 01/05/2008 15:04

Oh ginger will you stop it! Crying at my desk is not appropriate!

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foxythesnowfox · 01/05/2008 15:07

There are no definative answers, and how I wish there was!
I totally get what you are saying Gingerninja, and agree it is lovely. If I had MN when I had DS1 I would have probably taken another route. Now I have 4 DCs its just not practical, but if you can do it, then there is nothing like those drowsy snuggles!

gingerninja · 01/05/2008 15:10

Sorry PJ, I could go on though, the feel of their breath on your face. The little stretch in the morning when they shove their belly to the ceiling. The morning cuddles and giggles under the duvet but most of all the feeling of utter contentment and security we all get cuddling up as a family.

In all seriousness, it all gets easier with age. More recently we only had to lay with DD for about 10 mins to get her to sleep and it was a time I really relished, especially if I'd been working as I could get some cuddles in that I'd missed during the day.

Original poster
Pinkjenny · 01/05/2008 15:11

Or being headbutted as a wake up call when dd tries to climb on top of me.

The cutest thing is her little smile when she realises I'm awake. Her eyes look exactly like they did when I very first looked into them.

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gingerninja · 01/05/2008 15:11

foxy, you just need a very very big bed

mamamufin · 01/05/2008 15:18

Weve just invested in a superking for the same reason .

Original poster
Pinkjenny · 01/05/2008 15:20

Superking here too.

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largeginandtonic · 01/05/2008 15:21
Original poster
Pinkjenny · 01/05/2008 15:22

What do you want LG & T? Away with you.

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Mikafan · 01/05/2008 15:24

My DD is 1 today and I put her down in her cot at 7pm every night we no problems but when we got to bed at around 9.30 p.m. no matter how quiet we are she will wake up and cry and there's no consoling her until she comes in with us. Once she's in with us she stops crying instantly but will fidget non stop which stops me from sleeping so it doesn't help me really but at least she's not crying

Original poster
Pinkjenny · 01/05/2008 15:28

Mikafan - I feel like I posted that myself!

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Mikafan · 01/05/2008 15:36

Its annoying isn't it. You'd think they'd just be grateful that they've wormed their way into your bed and be happy and content, not start fidgeting all night

Original poster
Pinkjenny · 01/05/2008 15:46

My sentiments exactly.

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Mikafan · 01/05/2008 16:03

I just try and tell myself its not forever and just appreciate it while she does want to sleep next to me. I'm sure once she's happy to stay in her cot I'll miss her.

Original poster
Pinkjenny · 01/05/2008 16:05

I'm going to try and remember that tonight when I am sitting on the floor of her room, holding her hand through the bars of the cot, dinner absolutely freezing, while dh plays on his playstation.

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gingerninja · 01/05/2008 16:07

PJ, try (just for a night) laying on the bed with her, you may find that it works faster than sitting holding her hand. It's a darn site more comfortable

Original poster
Pinkjenny · 01/05/2008 16:11

I'll try. The other night was so funny, she actually started laughing and patting my leg through the bars. She's got the measure of me!

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Mikafan · 01/05/2008 16:13

My DD wouldn't let me do that, its out or nothing with her. Have tried in the past the hand holding through the bar but she won't even sit down if I'm in the room, she stands up and tries to lean over the top of the side of the cot to get to me. Once when it was on a lower setting she managed to lever herself over to me (the cot is right next to the bed I have to say)

Original poster
Pinkjenny · 01/05/2008 16:15

She's gorgeous though - how can you resist? What experiences have you had with your older dcs?

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Mikafan · 01/05/2008 16:17

Well exactly. My two boys were no trouble at all. Both went into their cots with no problems and slept through the night from 3 months (which was when I stopped BF both of them). With DD I am still BF (but not at night) and she's a total nightmare

ViolentFemme · 01/05/2008 16:20

I second gingerninja. My ds falls asleep much quicker when I am lying with him.

We have ds's cot next to our bed with the cot side removed. Luckily the mattress height is almost the same (cot mattress is maybe an inch lower than our mattress) so it feels like one great big bed. I put ds in his cot and I lie with him and sing to him and stroke his wee fuzzy head till he falls asleep (could be two minutes, could be 30 minutes, it depends). Then when he is asleep I pile the pillows up alongside the cot so he's not going anywhere should he waken (which he does from time to time, but is pacified with dummy).

We are lucky he doesn't waken when we go to bed (around 10.30pm) but we do get lots of sleepy hurrumphs from him as he hears us creeping in!

Good luck!

Original poster
Pinkjenny · 02/05/2008 09:59

Not really a successful night to report. Despite only having one nap all day, she went to bed at 7.15, woke at 8.15, 9.18 and 10.05. Put her in bed with me and she (thankfully) slept well.

So, I'm no further forward. Am clinging on to the dim hope that its just the teeth unsettling her evenings.

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Mikafan · 02/05/2008 10:05

Sorry to hear that Pinkjenny. My DD went down fine at 7, I heard some whimperings on and off all evening but she didn't cry - until we'd been in bed for 10 minutes and was about to drop off. Nothing I did would soothe her so just chose the line of least resistance and bought her in. She wasn't too bad once she was in bed with me though she got woken up at 5.30 a.m. by DH getting up for work and that was it then - no sleep for me. Yesterday I bought a little soft Eyore cuddly toy and stuck it down my bra all evening then put that in the cot before I went to bed thinking that if she could smell me on it when she woke she might not cry - she did

gingerninja · 02/05/2008 10:24

PJ and MF, it is a phase, just keep thinking that. I honestly couldn't see the wood for the trees for most of the first year and I'd get so frustrated, sometimes really cross but mostly just desperate.

Things are so much better these days. My DD woke at about 3ish and I got into bed with her and she huffed and puffed on and off for a while but I know she's teething. It's exactly the same pattern of behaviour.

Stay strong

foxythesnowfox · 02/05/2008 13:16

PinkJenny, I'm a bit confused, do you want to have LO fall asleep by herself, sleep in her own bed or fall asleep with you and stay asleep but in your bed?

We've quite successfully got DC4 to go to sleep in her own bed using the 'retreating' method, and she will wake up complain for 10 seconds and then drop off again - especially if her music/light comes on.

But if she ups the ante, she's in bed with me has a feed, and stays there. For me, its about having some time without the children in the evening so I can rest up, but I really don't mind them coming in during the night.

Have you tried the Baby Whisperer? Its not something I've used, but its been recommended on here quite a lot. I saw the 'retreating' method on Tiny Tearaways I think, so sort of used my own version.

Thinking about it now, she was on an 11 - 11 sleep pattern before I changed it to 7 - 7. So she'd go to bed when I did and sleep until 11ish the next day (which was brilliant as I could get up and get the kids off to school before attending to DD2). Is this an option? You get your evenings back, but LO is with you. There are real pros to it IMHO, especially as we found DP and I got 1:1 time with her. Just a thought!

Crikey! An essay - sorry!