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Please tell me it gets better and how to fix it (toddler sleep)

1 reply

TheBeesKnee · 15/12/2024 22:26

My 19 month old has just stopped breastfeeding about a week ago. He was EBF for a year, then I went back to work and it dwindled down to twice a day and eventually to just at bedtime.

I noticed a few weeks ago that my milk had basically dried up and he was using me as a dummy. It was starting to feel really overstimulating and uncomfortable so the boobs have gone away for good.

It has been about 2 weeks - maybe a bit less.

The consequence is that his sleep has gone to complete and utter shit. He also happens to be ill and snotty and I don't know if that's contributing.

He has gone from sleeping 7pm-7:20am to being awake for hours and eventually passing out at about 9/10pm. He goes to nursery 3 days a week and is obviously waking up early on those days but not napping any more to make up for it.

I used to feed him until he was milk drunk or asleep and he would happily go into his cot and go to sleep.

I cannot put him to sleep any more. He will fall asleep on my shoulder but when I try to put him in the cot he cries and becomes hysterical and inconsolable. So I have to lie down with him in my bed and he takes about an hour of wiggling and fidgeting until he's asleep. Then I moved him to his cot when he's a dead weight.

My partner will rock him for 5/10 mins and he goes into his cot very compliantly but then you can see him on the monitor still awake for ages. Tonight he was awake for 90 mins!

The lack of sleep is really affecting his mood and behaviour in the day and it's causing me a lot of stress and anxiety. Should I try and get my milk supply up again? I'm pregnant at the moment so will be breastfeeding anyway in the spring. I didn't really have a plan to stop, I was happy to take the lead from him and just provide milk for as long as he wanted it.

Just to add that while I was still breastfeeding him if I was not at home and my partner had to put him to bed it took maybe half an hour at most but he managed it without fuss.

I don't know how to help him. I don't know when this will end.

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
DazedAndConfused321 · 15/12/2024 22:37

There's a few options that could be worth a go. It's such a relentless situation. I know it feels like it'll never get better, but it will!

Bath,bottle, bed routine. He had a great routine to wind him down when BFing and now needs something new. If he won't take a bottle, I swear by a small bowl of porridge or a banana for my toddlers before bed. He might be a bit hungry and might sleep better with a full tummy. Spoonful of peanut butter does the trick, too.

My toddlers also got a baby massage when transitioning from BFing. After their bath in the evening, in a quiet room with just a lamp on. It doesn't have to be a 40-minute massage with various lotions and potions. Just a few minutes to rub lotion on their arms and legs so they get a bit of contact without having to be glued to you. This helps with your overstimulation, too.

Fresh air as part of the bedtime routine. Mine would go dinner-walk around the garden in pushchair- bath-massage-bottle-bed. Fresh air wears them out. You can do it before dinner if that suits you better.

An item of clothing you've been wearing - a t shirt, cardigan etc so they can smell you in their cot.

Keep going, you're doing really well. It won't be like this forever x

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