am i being a bad mummy leaving her to shout?

[olivo]

my dd is 20 mo; she wasn't a particularly good sleeper in her first 10 mo or so, but since then, has gone to bed no bother and more or less sleeps through....until 2 weeks ago. we went on holiday and she was sleeping in a tiny metal cot in our room. her routine suffered as we ate out every night, although she was usually in bed by about 9.30. she is now back to her 6.45 bedtime and its awful; she just stands up and shouts 'mummy' once i leave the room. sometimes she screams a bit.
the first few times i went in and checked on her, she would dive down and pretend to be going to sleep; there are rarely any tears, just shouting that can go on for 20 mins or so.
am i being bad leaving her to shout? if so, any ideas of how to get her settled?

No I think this is the right thing to do. Did she go to sleep on her own when you were away??? Maybe give her a teddy that smells like you for a few days just to let her have a bit of comfort, otherwise I would be doing exactly the same as you

No, if she's diving down and pretending then she's really not upset. She'll get bored of the shouting in due course.

no, it started when we were away, i ended up standing with a hand on her back as a comfort as it was the only way she wouldnt shout; i was terrified the other hotel guests would complain! i guess she got used to it. she does have a teddy and a monkey she takes to bed with her -would they smell of me if i stuff them up my jumper or something?!?!?

that's what i'm hoping,pea - it does sound like attention seeking, doesnt it?

It sounds to me like you are doing the right thing. She's angry at having to go to sleep, not upset. You need to get her back into her usual routine and it sounds to me like you are going about it the right way.

I think you're doing the right thing. If I want something to smell of me, I sleep with it between my boobs for a night

Poor you. DD1 used to do this sometimes, espec is her routine changed. I remember watching a TV programme and someone said that at one point you just have to leave them to cry (for your own sanity, and some even say for the child's benefit). I think she is old enough to understand now that it is sleep time.

Does she have her snugglies, and have you explained to her about what to do if she wakes up/is awake - i.e. look around the room and see that all is as it should be, then snuggle down with her cuddly toy. Apparently it is also useful to talk to her about what you will do the next day before she settles down, as this will reassure her that there is more to come tomorrow etc. And another option is as you said, make something smell like you - have a sheet in your bed the next couple of nights then put it on her bed. And a photo of you and DH on the wall might help her feel secure too - explain that it's a reminder that mummy is nearby and looking forward to seeing her in the morning, after a nice long rest, when you will both be ready for lots of fun again together.

Sorry, rambling. Hope you understand some of what I said

i will sneak in tonight and get the monkey and the bear and stuff them down my bra then actually, maybe not the monkey, tis one of those seventies style ones with a plastic face and a thumb you can put in its mouth (there's no accounting for taste!)- mgiht be a bit uncomfortable
thanks for your reassurances, it's just what i needed to hear. i WILL persist......

i like yuor idea of a photo of us PP, will try that ; she is a total mummy's girl at the moment; she comes everywhere with me. i wil also try talking to her about the nexy day. thanks.