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Baby self soothing

10 replies

SB04x · 11/12/2024 09:49

Does anyone have any tips on how to get twins to self soothe. I've always rocked them to sleep (we live and learn) but now trying to encourage them to self soothe. Prefer not to sleep train using crying methods (personal preference)

Thanks xx

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Foundpresents · 11/12/2024 09:52

Personally I think self soothing is a sleep training bullshit term. Babies infants need their caregivers to soothe them at night just like we want to be close to our partners/have warm blankets/have our comforts.

I know it’s hard, especially with twins but if you get more sleep by soothing them then don’t feel bad about it. The less anxious they are because they know they’re safe and you’re there the better sleeper they’ll be as they get older. Whereas if no one responds, they’ll be more anxious and sleep could be worse.

bakewellbride · 11/12/2024 09:55

The vital detail - the age of your baby - is missing here. Also to echo the previous poster I personally wouldn't bother. Babies are designed to be soothed by their mothers, there is no benefit to them 'being independent' etc. Just comfort the baby as and when needed and they'll outgrow whatever they're going through right now.

InTheRainOnATrain · 11/12/2024 09:57

How old? I don’t know if it exactly classes as self soothing but the best thing for young babies to get to sleep without you is sucking either their thumb or a dummy. You’re not going to persuade an older baby or toddler to take a dummy if they’ve never had one before though. A comforter or small soft toy can be good for older ones and if they always have the same one at bedtime it can become a sleep association. If you’re up for sleep training so long as it’s not cry based then you could also look up gradual retreat. Timing naps and wake windows is also a good one as whatever you decide to do you’ll have more success if you hit the sweet spot of tired but not overtired.

Growsomeballswoman · 11/12/2024 10:00

I put my twins in together. They slept through 6pm-6am from 16 weeks.

SB04x · 11/12/2024 10:02

Foundpresents · 11/12/2024 09:52

Personally I think self soothing is a sleep training bullshit term. Babies infants need their caregivers to soothe them at night just like we want to be close to our partners/have warm blankets/have our comforts.

I know it’s hard, especially with twins but if you get more sleep by soothing them then don’t feel bad about it. The less anxious they are because they know they’re safe and you’re there the better sleeper they’ll be as they get older. Whereas if no one responds, they’ll be more anxious and sleep could be worse.

I didn't think of it like that tbh and it makes me feel way better about the fact I have always rocked them. Thank you

OP posts:
SB04x · 11/12/2024 10:04

bakewellbride · 11/12/2024 09:55

The vital detail - the age of your baby - is missing here. Also to echo the previous poster I personally wouldn't bother. Babies are designed to be soothed by their mothers, there is no benefit to them 'being independent' etc. Just comfort the baby as and when needed and they'll outgrow whatever they're going through right now.

6 months, 4 months adjusted. No that's fair enough, just after different opinions really and advice as I'm ftm. Thank you

OP posts:
SB04x · 11/12/2024 10:07

Growsomeballswoman · 11/12/2024 10:00

I put my twins in together. They slept through 6pm-6am from 16 weeks.

They were in the same cot but they both wriggle sooo much that they kept bumping into eachother 😂😂

OP posts:
SB04x · 11/12/2024 10:09

InTheRainOnATrain · 11/12/2024 09:57

How old? I don’t know if it exactly classes as self soothing but the best thing for young babies to get to sleep without you is sucking either their thumb or a dummy. You’re not going to persuade an older baby or toddler to take a dummy if they’ve never had one before though. A comforter or small soft toy can be good for older ones and if they always have the same one at bedtime it can become a sleep association. If you’re up for sleep training so long as it’s not cry based then you could also look up gradual retreat. Timing naps and wake windows is also a good one as whatever you decide to do you’ll have more success if you hit the sweet spot of tired but not overtired.

6 months, 4 months adjusted. I've never heard of gradual retreat I'll do some researching! Last thing I want is for them to be upset. They do have a dummy atm but aren't always bothered by it either. Thank you for your reply x

OP posts:
kiana2015 · 11/12/2024 10:10

Gave you see. Ruth watts tik toks? She's a health visitor in England and has guides on this I bought it, basically it's just saying to keep picking up and putting down until they learn so you're not leaving them to cry. She had really good reviews of people saying it's worked, it can either work instantly or take a few days until they get it

InTheRainOnATrain · 11/12/2024 10:22

Yes it’s fine to keep rocking if it works! If it doesn’t any more though and there are lots of reasons why it might not ranging from you want 1 parent to be able to manage bedtime and it’s not feasible to rock 2, they’re getting bigger and it’s killing your back, older babies can be prone to waking upset when they realise they’ve been transferred etc. etc. then it’s also totally fine to want to stop and try to get them to fall asleep in their cot(s) instead. There is such a huge middle ground between stopping rocking and not responding to your baby and causing them anxiety, so just don’t worry about that at all.

Given their age Pick Up Put Down (PUPD) could also be an option as well as gradual retreat, both are gentle sleep training methods that allows you to comfort them and shouldn’t involve crying. You could also encourage the dummy more. Not sure how it works with the corrective age but usually at about 6-7 months they can replace it themselves which can be game changing for sleep but you need to put loads in the cot so they can find them.

Or just carry on as you are if it’s still working!

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