Baby wakes up at 11pm every night

[Megan1591]

My 13 month old DD goes to sleep anywhere between 6.45/7.15pm. She most of the time falls asleep after her bottle in my arms and I put her into her bed. She then will wake up between 10.30om-11.45pm, when she wakes up she is hysterical crying, shouting mama! If I don't get to her quick enough she has made herself sick. She will not go back to sleep unless I cuddle her, This normally results in me falling asleep in her bed as I'm 14 weeks pregnant. This has been going on for 3 months now. She has a star night light, white noise. She has had this on since 3 months old. She has about a 2 hour nap in the morning, but doesn't always have an afternoon nap. ( not sure if this is the problem, that she is over tired by the time she goes to bed)
Any suggestions welcomed. Trying to get her happy in bed before the next baby comes along

Two thoughts: shorten the morning nap and/or, controversially, gently wake your DD up a little before the time she keeps waking herself up to try and break the rhythm. Just do this for 2-3 nights and see if it makes a difference.

It could be time to drop to one nap a day instead of 2, if you put it in the middle of the day she should be able to make it to bedtime.

Sorry but this sounds entirely normal. All of mine woke up in the night until they were 2. Is that her only wake up? If so I think she’s doing really well

Sounds familiar! DD 13months also only really naps in the morning (sometimes she'll nap in the pram in the afternoon but only if I time it just right), and sometimes wakes around 11pm. I found that sending DP in to settle her works better, can you try that? You have my sympathies, I can't imagine dealing with the night wake ups and pregnancy at the same time! Xx

Really she needs to go to sleep how she’s going to stay to sleep. If she falls asleep in your arms then stirs to find herself alone in bed then it seems perfectly logical she’s going to wake up and shout for you- think about what you’d do if you fell asleep cuddled up with your partner in bed then woke to find yourself alone on the sofa, you wouldn’t just think oh ok then and roll over and go back to sleep, you’d wake up fully and be asking for an explanation of WTF happened. Also at 13 months she really shouldn’t be falling asleep on the bottle, she needs to brush her teeth after milk. So I’d rethink the whole bedtime routine.

Google Lyndsey Hookwsy 'false starts'

I'm sure you'll get lots of suggestions about improving sleep.
My baby kept waking up at the same time each night. It turned out that the boiler was kicking in and it was waking him up. Worth checking for external factors too!

I could have written this myself, Recently had this with my DS who is now 15 months. I resisted moving to 1 nap a day for far too long (without any good reason!). I gently pushed the nap to start at around 11.45-12.30, and after some work, he now sleeps for 2 hours. Then I try my best to keep him awake until at least 7.15, also keeping him upright during the bottle to keep him awake, then put down to sleep and he is sleeping through, occasional blip here and there.
kids are different so might not work for you but I was at breaking point as waking meant he wasn’t sleeping well and nor was I. Hope things get better!

Onset sleep association. She's used to falling asleep with you holding her so when she wakes in between sleep cycles she can't get back to sleep again without being held. I had this with my DD waking several times a night and ended up putting her in her cot and laying on the floor next to her until she fell asleep unaided, then gradually moved towards the door as time went on until eventually I didn't need to be in there. I was on the floor for a LONG time for the first few nights but it resolved our sleep issues!

This sounds so normal and age appropriate. Please don't let the scaremongering about 'sleep associations' get to you. It might sound like it makes sense but it's all pseudoscience peddled by 'sleep consultants' to try make money out of sleep deprived desperate parents. The reality is that waking is developmentally normal. You're not doing anything wrong. Neither is your baby. Just resettle them when they need it and be patient. Over the next few months their sleep will get better and better.
Most are sleeping through by approx age 2. Don't be panicked into thinking you need to do anything different

Also when I say sleeping through I mean generally. Still not every night. And some still wake a couple of times routinely. All sorts can interrupt sleep and you as the parent are their comfort. They're only tiny and don't want to wake alone in a dark room and settle themselves. Even adults don't want that, they sleep with their partners and have them right there if they wake in the night

Sounds like she falls asleep in your arms then freaks out when she stirs later and you're gone.
If you want her to just roll over and go back to sleep in the night make sure she is where she expects to be - if she falls asleep alone in her cot, she isn't going to be worried to find herself alone in her cot in the night.

Thank you so much everyone. I'm going to work on getting her to fall asleep in her bed, rather than in my arms and see if that helps