Hourly wakes up 16 weeks

[orzo15]

My baby is waking up at least every hour for the last 10 days. I am losing my mind, he will scream if I try to rock him back to sleep or don't pick him up and only settle with me breastfeeding him which is over feeding and giving him gas. When will this horrendous phase end? I'm a single parent so can't get any help to try and settle him in other ways. This is really taking a toll on me now :(

Will he sleep in beside you?

I've coslept out of desperation but I don't really like doing it, I don't sleep properly and keep waking up to check on him so it's not the best solution for me. He sleeps a little better next to me but still actually wakes up a lot anyway but obviously it's easier to just feed him without getting up then

Before this anyway he was sleeping 5-6 stretches in his crib perfectly fine

Sleep regressions often last about two weeks so you're probably coming to the end of it! I'm so sorry this is happening though, take care of yourself.

They always say with regressions to just keep everything the same as when the sleep was good. But if you find something that works it doesn't hurt to incorporate that too.

Is this your first?

Thank you! I really hope it is coming to an end soon. I've found the advice conflicting online with a lot saying this is when you need start getting them to sleep independently. But I cannot imagine that happening with him and I feed him to sleep which works so well.

Yes my first, I adore him but it's tough doing all the nights alone. Going to stay with some family next week for Christmas (I live abroad) so at least I'll get a little bit of a break!

I've been there with both my kids, and it's so so so rough! Makes you lose the will to live, it's a torture being woken up so regularly! I truly empathise with you, I'd give you a big hug and a chance of a nap if I could.
I realised my 1st just needed constant contact, so after 9 weeks of sleepless nights, I gave in and started bedsharing and it was bliss! We all slept so much better for a few months (until I moved her to her own room around 7-8mo).
With my 2nd (he's 6mo now), when he started waking up every hour around 4wo, I started bedsharing but it didn't improve at all! It took me weeks to realise he actually had silent reflux caused by a tongue tie. After releasing it (around 8wo) and doing tongue exercises for weeks, his belly settled and he started sleeping longer stretches. I still bedsahre some of the night now, but he sleeps so much better.

When your little one wakes hourly, does he seems uncomfortable? You say he's gassy, could it be reflux too? Do you manage to wind him properly (burps and farts)? I would check with a feeding consultant to figure it all out. You can't really overfeed with breastfeeding, but it still sounds like something isn't right with how milk passes through, so I really recommend getting him checked for reflux/tongue tie/feeding positions/latch and all that jazz.
But also agree with a pp, around 4mo the sleep architecture changes (now baby will have phases of light sleep, which means they are more wakeful more often) and it can take a little while to settle.

When the 4 month sleep regression hit my little girl, she woke every 25 - 45 minutes. It was sheer hell. After 10 weeks, when she was 6.5 mooths old, we sleep trained her. As someone said above, for some babies sleep regressions only last 2 - 6 weeks, so yours may well come out of it. But mine didn't. Luckily for us sleep training was quick and easy as it turns out she was ready to reject settle within a few minutes, but I realise it is not always that easy and is not for everyone. But within 3 days she was sleeping 11 hours overnight. I deliberately waited until she was past 6 months though as I felt she was too young before that!

Is he getting too much sleep in the day?
Have you tried a dummy?
Is the room really dark and quiet?
Is he warm enough?
Are you getting into a routine, like half feed at 5:30pm, bath at 6pm, then remainder of feed then bed at 6:30pm?

If you don't have a routine and are exclusively breastfeeding you have to just feed on demand and roll with the baby's timings, which is so hard.

I couldn't handle it so supplemented with formula and followed a routine, I felt like I got my sanity back after that.

Thank you, it is really tough (currently on my third wake tonight so far!!)

I put him in something warmer last night and it made no difference. He has a dummy. We have a routine but as I'm ebf we aim for bedtime somewhere between 7-8. Have played around with naps during the day and seems to make no difference! I don't want to introduce formula, I feel like we can get a loose routine through ebf and being on my own honestly I just can't be arsed adding dealing with making up formula and bottles on top of everything else!

Just wanted to give you some reassurance, when my little boy was around 4 months he went through a phase of waking every 40 minutes and I spent so much time worrying about what I was doing wrong and researching everything but one day it just started to get better and I didn’t do anything! It’s so so hard though! I co slept as although he still woke just as much it made me feel marginally better that I was still in bed and also went to bed the same time as him to try and get a bit extra!

@Tommymummyft thank you for the reassurance! We are still going strong with every hour at the moment. Do you remember how long it took? I definitely keep worrying I'm doing wrong things, like the quickest and most of the time onlt way he will settle is by offering him my boob each time he wakes, sometimes he's asleep minutes later but some say this is a bad habit. Honestly I don't have it in me to try much else so I'm absolutely praying this just passes soon!

If you don't manage it, I'd like to reassure you that I fed my daughter to sleep until she was 2 years old and now at nearly 3 she climbs into bed by herself and asks for the light to be turned off so she can sleep.

If you do manage to get him to sleep independently then that's amazing but please don't feel guilty if you don't or feel like it'll affect him long term (I didn't manage to do it and it had no lasting effect).

4 month sleep regression, it's awful I know. As pp, I fed to sleep until about 22 months and now I just pop little one in his bed with his bottle and he feeds himself to sleep. You do whatever you feel works best for your baby. Hope it all comes together for you

Thank you both, that is really reassuring to read about feeding to sleep. It really makes you feel like you're doing something wrong but we fell into the pattern so naturally wouldn't even know how to stop and I don't want to, the advice is just so conflicting online!

This is hugely normal.

Don't introduce a bottle if you don't want to, it'll be better for you if you can doze next to him while he sleeps, reduces mastitis risk and will prevent him taking in more.air.

Do get the latch checked but if all else is OK it's likely to be the sleepy-not-properly-feeding that's causing it. He won't overfeeding because the hormones in breast milk prevent that, but he may well be taking in air with a shallower, non nutritive suck.

Treat yourself as if you had a newborn - try to nap if he naps in the day, go low pressure on expectations for yourself.

I remember how hard this was, my second was the same. Now he's a teen it's a struggle to get him to not sleep! You're doing a brilliant job.

This isn’t going to make you feel any better I think it was about 6 weeks 🫣 but that definitely doesn’t mean it will be the same for you!
If feeding is the quickest way to settle I would go with it! I wish I’d believed people when they told me it all falls into place when they’re ready instead of believing some of the stuff online. Would’ve saved me a lot of stress 😵‍💫 do whatever works for you and it will pass